Since today’s a long weekend for most of North America, I thought I’d take it easy on you and play a little game of zombie what ifs. The way it works is I give you a scenario and you tell me the solution. It’s more like a “What if you see a zombie in the street staring at you, what do you do?” type of thing. I figure we all need a break from my regular analytical Monday Mayhem posts and what better way to do that than to enjoy some dark humor.
Are you ready? Let’s go!
Scenario #1: You’re in your kitchen. A zombie walks in brandishing its yellow-stained teeth and measuring you for its next luncheon. It slowly creeps toward you with hunger in its eyes and a drooling mouth. There’s no way out. What do you do?
My answer: Grab a fork from the utensil drawer, poke its eye out, and while it’s wailing in misery, run past it.
Scenario #2: You’re in a long hallway with two zombies chasing you to a dead end. You have one bullet in your gun. What do you do?
My answer: I’ll attempt to line them up and hope one bullet will pass through both skulls.
Scenario #3: You’re staring at your friend through the window of a gas station as two zombies surround him ready to pounce. He has a gun, but he’s out of bullets. Your gun is the same make and model as his, and your bullets fit his gun. What do you do?
My answer: Crash in there and shoot the crap out of the offending beasts. Anyone who messes with my friends messes with me.
Scenario #4: You’re alone with a zombie. There’s a shotgun in the middle of the room on the table. The zombie is one of those fast zombies. No matter what you do, it matches your moves and can even climb the table if you let it. One door in the background is your only escape. It’s smart, and it will chase after you if you even think of escaping. What do you do?
My answer: If I go for the gun, it might attack me. If I go for the door, it might tackle me and I will probably not make it. Right now, I don’t have an answer.
Scenario #5: Your friend is hanging on to dear life from the edge of a cliff. If you don’t rescue him soon, he’ll lose his grip and plummet one hundred feet to his death. One problem, though. A horde of zombies is marching toward you. There’s a road to escape on your right. What do you do?
My answer: This is a hard one. If you stay behind to help your friend, you may lose your life by becoming the main dish of a zombie feast. If you take off on the road to freedom, you’re leaving your friend to the gnawing jowls of the undead. Like I said, this is a hard one. Even I don’t know what to do in this predicament.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
Do you have any scenarios you’d like to share?