Posted in Monday Mayhem

A Zombie Christmas

The most interesting part about this season is not so much about seeing generosity spreading like a contagion among shoppers, as one would hope, but is about seeing how crowds run amok in the aisles in a senseless quest to attain the unattainable. I say interesting because it reminds me of something else that runs amok seeking the unattainable. If you guessed the zombie horde, then I will have to agree.

A Zombie Christmas
A Zombie Christmas

When I look at the situations, there really isn’t much difference. Christmas shoppers will stand at the doors waiting for them to open, they will stampede as a group and some in the crowd will hope they will get their hands on the spoil that has called them to defy logic in an effort to satisfy an inner need.

Now, take a look at the zombie horde. It, too, will stand at the door, in some cases, pounding to get in. Once the doors open, as one unit, it rushes through the door in hopes of capturing that which it has sensed as its need—human.

Strange how this season brings out the best in people.

The perfect zombie Christmas present.
The perfect zombie Christmas present.

I’ve noticed this happening online, too. A large electronic manufacturer will have a sale of merchandise, yet, in limited quantities. The ads purport the sale will begin at the stroke of midnight. The crowd eagerly anticipates the timing. Only a handful for sale, but that’s okay, everyone in the crowd believes the item will be in one of their hands. However, the reality is further from the truth. At exactly one minute after midnight, the item is no longer available.

If I were part of that crowd, then I will have been one of those wanting an explanation. Why the hook to bring in the horde? Why so few for so many? Why not introduce further victims into the fray by releasing more stock to the waiting throng.

Doesn’t this season bring out the best in people?

Let’s go deeper—the parking lots. The day before Christmas, all of a sudden the mall parking lot becomes ground zero for the battle of the century. If zombies existed, they are the ones driving the cars in hopes of finding a spot. They drive around several times with the belief of attaining the unattainable, a free spot. And once a free spot becomes available, like a hornets’ nest stirred to anger, cars swoop in for the kill. Only one is lucky enough to grab the spot, but not without a fight. Necks bulge. Fists shake. The lucky one is lucky to make it out of his car alive.

Ah, isn’t Christmas wonderful? Like obedient zombies looking for their next meal, shoppers flood the malls and online retailer with the belief they can attain the unattainable. Of course, a lucky few do walk out of the store with their prized item. But, for what? For the item to be forgotten in a chest somewhere a year later?

Maybe we’re not too different from the zombies after all.

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What do you think of the Christmas shopping season? Have you noticed the horde stampeding through doors?


Jack Flacco is an author and the founder of Looking to God Ministries, an organization dedicated to spreading the Word of God through outreach programs, literature and preaching.

13 thoughts on “A Zombie Christmas

  1. Yep, yep. Was at the local Consumo-rama yesterday for foodstuffs, and everyone was in a hurry in the aisles (practically everyone, anyway). I would smile at strangers when our carts were trying to go the same way at the same time and let them pass first and just about nobody smiled back. Oh well. That’s their deal. 🙂

  2. I’ll be working in a shop in the run up to Christmas. I avoid shops like the plague at Christmas, but I’l be on the receiving end this time. The whole thing is a commercialise self-indulgent orgy, but people go along with it so they deserve every shredded nerve and trampled foot they get.

  3. So true. Could be the reason why on-line shopping is so popular now. On-line shopping in the U.S market for Black Friday hit records this year as people were most likely trying to avoid being trampled on or possibly killed over a $5 toaster oven.

  4. I too avoid the stores in order to maintain the ‘spirit’ of the holidays! 🙂 (If you watch the just-released Krampus, you’ll see this very thing dramatized at the very beginning – it’s great!)

    1. I’ll have to watch it! Surprisingly, this year, I’ve done all my shopping online, avoiding all the lineups and headaches. So convenient, and so easy, too!

      I’m just missing 1 gift: The Polar Express on Blu Ray. Can’t find the thing anywhere!

  5. I try to avoid the malls and stores as much as possible. Though I had to go to a Toys R Us this weekend. Not pretty. The parking lot was a nightmare with people simply pulling out of spots even if you’re behind them. Not to mention people on foot walking right into traffic as if the car should be the one to worry about getting damaged. One of the most bizarre things is that the returns line was the longest one when I went. People are returning things already for some reason. Coming in a close second is finding toys hidden behind other toys or even within them. Not sure if zombies try to stash food like a leopard, but that’s a big tactic this time of year.

    Honestly, I think I’d rather deal with the zombies. At least you expect monstrous behavior from them. That and it’s legal to use a baseball bat to get out of an undead mob.

    1. Thank goodness I didn’t have to go to Toys R Us this year. Actually, I completed my entire shopping list online. First time ever and I’m already done. Greatest feeling in the world!

      1. I usually do it online, but we had a present emergency. Our ideas got mentioned to other family members who got them before we could. So I had to rush out when we finally had an idea since Hanukkah started on Sunday.

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