Posted in Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs III

Lock your doors. Board your windows. Run and hide. This week’s Monday Mayhem series post brings you another Zombie What Ifs segment designed to challenge all you would-be undead slayers. If you haven’t worked through the first or second parts, no worries, you can have fun any ol’ way you want. Remember one thing—there isn’t any right answer to these. The point is to have fun, enjoy the moment and allow your creativity to run free.

Zombie Hunting Permit
Zombie Hunting Permit

How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: Trapped in a locked car, windows rolled to the top and the keys having slipped to the floor of the passenger side, you dive for them. That very moment, one of the undead smashes through the passenger side window, and swipes its paws through the air to get at you. The keys are not on the floor as you originally had thought, but ended up under the passenger seat instead. What do you do, considering three more zombies are on their way and may smash through the other windows surrounding the car?

My Answer: Rise quickly, beat the tar out of the zombie’s face with the heel of my shoe, then dive for the keys hoping I’ll grab them in time before it attacks again.

Scenario #2: A horde of maggot bags chases you into the woods. You sprint, zigzag and find you haven’t lost them. In a desperate attempt to thwart their sensitive noses and ears, you find the carcass of a dead deer. A quarter of its torso is missing, but it gives you an idea. You saw it in a movie once. Do you squeeze into the remains of the deer in hopes the undead will pass you by or do you take your chances and keep running knowing sooner or later you may collapse from exhaustion?

My Answer: Keep running. No way would I want to slip into the guts of a dead deer.

Zombies ahead
Zombies ahead

Scenario #3: You run down the stairs to the hotel’s main lobby where you spot another group of undead waiting for you. You escape by making your way through the First Floor corridors rattling every door you encounter. All of them locked, you dash to the Fire Exit. Even there, another crowd awaits for its dinner—you. In a desperate move, you double-back pulling on all the doors again. Your luck changes when you find one of them unlocked. Sprinting inside you negotiate the adjacent rooms to fling the door open to the hotel’s indoor pool area. At this point, the gang of rotting flesh mongers plow through all the doors in the area, surrounding you. If you’re not a good swimmer, jumping into the pool will surely mean the death of you. But if you stay and try to outwit them, sooner or later you’ll get eaten alive. If you’re a good swimmer, eventually, you’ll tire and drown. What do you do?

My Answer: I’d rather drown.

Scenario #4: The mass chases you into a garage complete with a set a tools (ie. screwdrivers, hammers, a nail gun, compressed air, etc.) and a few parked cars, which were waiting for repairs. Do you stay behind and fight with the tools on hand or do you take a chance with one of the vehicles (keys are in the ignition)?

My Answer: I always go for the quickest way out—the cars.

Scenario #5: From the barn to the woods is a fifty-meter dash. You can make it, you think. Without a second thought, you run as fast and as hard as you can, hopping the wooden fence to make it to the open field. Twenty-five meters to go and from the woods you see them appear. First, there are twenty. Next, there are forty. By the time you finish your scream, a hundred of them have popped from the woods. You begin to run back to the barn, but it’s too late, the zombies that were chasing you earlier exited the barn with the smell of your flesh in their nostrils. Luckily, the farmers who had been working the field before the apocalypse left a hoe, a sickle and a scythe leaning against the fence. They’d also left the tractor with the keys in it, perhaps evidence zombies had attacked them right there. So, what’s your move? Keep running through the field hoping you won’t get caught? Stay and fight? Or do you try to hop on the tractor to see if it’ll start?

My Answer: Grab the sickle and run. I don’t know if I’ll lose valuable time attempting to start the tractor. I mean, I don’t even know how long it’s been out there.


How did you do? What’s your best answer to any of the scenarios?


Jack Flacco is an author and the founder of Looking to God Ministries, an organization dedicated to spreading the Word of God through outreach programs, literature and preaching.

19 thoughts on “Zombie What Ifs III

  1. Great scenarios 🙂
    I agree with most of your answers…except the drowning part.
    I am sure they will still make their way into the pool and get you anyway..unless the deep end is really deep.
    Watching the Walking Dead as I type this 😉

  2. My favorite!!
    Okay, here goes…
    #1. I would definitely kick the zombie out of the car and dig for the keys. Getting out and running would be foolishness.
    #2. Dead deer? No thanks. I’ll keep running.
    #3. I’d start pushing the maggot bags into the pool. I won’t hurt them, but I doubt they’d have the dexterity to climb back out quickly. This could give me enough time to break one of the windows (there are always big windows around hotel pools) with one of the heavy poolside chairs (which are also always present) and escape. It’s a long shot, but at least I wouldn’t die trapped.
    #4. Shove some of the heavier tools into the car for later use and try to get away as quickly as possible.
    #5. The sickle is probably the best option. The tractor is a huge gamble.

    Fun as always, Jack! Thanks!

    1. #3 is what I was looking for. Some creativity and some imagination. Great answer!

      #4 is again something I didn’t think of. Why fight them there? Load the car with tools and fight them on your terms. Another good one!

      Glad you liked these, Kaela!

  3. scenario #2: i would totally keep on running. who’s to say the zombies won’t stop by the dead dear carcass as an appetizer? if i were hiding in there, it would be like giving myself to them.

    didn’t hans solo also hide luke skywalker in the carcass of a Tauntaun to help luke keep warm? (empire strikes back)?

  4. Right at the first sign of a zombie takeover I would stock up all gas tanks, fuel up all vehicles, get as many flame-throwers as possible, as many DVD-players, TV sets and ‘Warm Bodies’ DVDs as available; try to remember all your hints and tricks and ranger Martin’s experiences. And then: ‘Show time!’ 😀

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