zombies – Page 11 – Looking to God

Zombie Kill of the Week II

Posted on July 14, 2014July 13, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Given the past few Monday Mayhem posts have been on the serious side, I thought I’d lighten the mood today. Instead of talking about diseases, viruses, and pork and beans for dinner, I figure I’d make fun of those dratted zombies and see how much I could get away with. Don’t expect any literary brilliance or anything educational. I’m just going to sound off about what makes me happy. And that’s killin’ zombies. That’s right folks. I’m going to talk about my all-time favorite ways to kill zombies.

I really hope you haven’t eaten anything recently. Let’s start from the very beginning. I ordered them from least to greatest, placing emphasis on the most outrageous kill as the last item on the list.

[Disclaimer: Written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Please don’t be an idiot and try any of these with humans. It’s not only stupid, it’s illegal. You will go to jail. Okay?]

10. Shooting a zombie in the head—Nothing quite comes close to putting a bullet in a zombie brain. Big bonus here is the splatter patterns behind the wall when said bullet penetrates the undead cranium. Not only do you get a dead zombie on your hands but also some very cool artwork to boot.

9. Spraying kerosene over a zombie and setting it alight—What does every living creature fear most in this world? Yep, you know it. Fire. Kerosene to the face of an oncoming undead creature will temporarily blind it. But lighting a match, will be like the Fourth of July all over again.

8. Throwing a zombie off a cliff, watching the impact crack its skull—If anything, this has to be the most fun anyone can have with a zombie. Easiest way to do this is grabbing it by its lapels and tossing it in one fluid motion. The kicker is watching the evil demon burst into a puddle of juices when it hits bottom. Where’s David Letterman when you need him?

7. Smashing a zombie’s head with a crowbar until everything’s covered in goo—Getting medieval on zombies deserves a better rep. This has to be the messiest of the lot. Just make sure you’re wearing a raincoat when caving in the undead’s intellect. Nothing’s worse than having a laundry basket full of dead stuff stuck to fibers.

6. Jamming a screwdriver into a zombie’s temple until it collapses—As easy as it sounds, it’s not. You’re in close proximity with the undead more than any other situation. Best using that screwdriver while standing. If you’re lying down, you’ll have to deal with the drip. Not the most pleasant of situations for a would-be zombie slayer.

5. Decapitating a zombie with a souvenir confederate sword from the American civil war—You want to talk about fun? This is it. You’ll find these heirlooms hanging around garage sales, and you’ve always wondered what you’d do with them. Well, here’s your chance. These suckers are perfect for zombie beheadings. If you can’t find a confederate sword, a samurai sword will do just as well. Aw, heck. Any ol’ sword or knife will do the trick.

4. Strapping a zombie into a car and ramming it into a brick wall—This is the hardest to do. Have you ever tried restraining a zombie? Not easy, let me tell you. You’ll need brute force strength and lots of gumption to get the job done. But once that liver eater’s in the car, there’s nothing much it can do. Best use a rock to hold the accelerator down. Then, watch the fun. If you have several to get rid of the same time, you can shove them all in and call it a joy ride.

3. Driving an ice pick through the zombie’s mouth, severing its spinal cord, thereby rendering it dead—Much like the screwdriver idea, this one is more personal. You’ll once again need to get real close. The best part about it is if you miss the mouth, you can always go for the eye.

2. Clamping a zombie’s head in a paint mixer, watching it spin—I don’t think I need to explain this one. Let’s just say the undead will never walk straight again.

1. Running over a zombie until every ounce of unholy breath expels from its maggot-filled lungs—That’s right. This is the grudge solution. You have a mechanical beast at your disposal and the undead in front. Aim and drive. You don’t even have to do this with a car. You can use a bus, a dump truck, a jeep. The bigger the vehicle, the more of a mess it will be.

This post is based on Zombie Kill of the Week. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it does.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What scenarios would you like to share?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Herd Mentality

Posted on June 30, 2014June 29, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Mob mentality has been around since the beginning of time. Ever since humans could form tribes, colonies, villages, towns, cities and nations, mob mentality has been alive and well. Have a look at the biblical story of the tower of Babel. Everyone was busy building a tower to the heavens that they didn’t stop to ask if they should have built it in the first place.

Today, for Monday Mayhem, I want to have a look at how zombies contrast with humans regarding herd mentality. I would like to compare similarities and differences in order to understand zombie and human behavior—besides one species being undead.

Have you ever gone Christmas shopping? I enjoy doing it in November when the store shelves are full, people’s attitudes are easy going, and parking spaces are aplenty. Try hitting the malls anytime in December and you’ll be out of luck. That’s why I avoid at all costs, if I might add, Christmas shopping in December. You’re taking your life in your own hands.

Without fail, every Christmas a toy or gadget comes out that becomes the hottest thing on the market to get for the holiday season. Advertisers make a big deal of it, stores make a big deal of it—and this is where it gets interesting—friends make a big deal of it. They especially fall for the carrot and ride the wave of peer pressure to that once-in-a-lifetime deal they think they’ll never have the chance in getting any other time, ever.

Thus the herd mentality is born. The inciting incident, the carrot, is the deal. If the advertisers can convince one person, that person can become their agent to secure the loyalties of others tempted with the same deal. The worst offenders of this practice are those stores that offer the gadget at half-price for one day only. You want to see death on the doorstep? Show up during that one-day sale. The herd mentality will reign supreme.

What about zombies? Easy, they work on the same principle. Show them what they couldn’t live without and they will follow it to the ends of the earth. The undead could be the most docile creatures in their dormant state. Once a human enters their world, they become ravaging beasts, filled with greed and violence. Well now, not much different from Christmas shoppers, are they?

And that really is the trick to the zombie herd mentality. The undead would have to see what they lack for them to go crazy, storm buildings, tear apart storefronts and kill for the sake of their selfish desires. It’s greed, really, that drives a mob mentality to commit the awful atrocities in the streets.

Thankfully, humans don’t have to worry about zombies interfering with their Christmas shopping. Wait a minute. Perhaps I’ve spoken too soon. Even if human toys and gadgets don’t appeal to zombies, humans themselves do. I take it back. Humans have a lot to worry about with zombies interfering with their Christmas plans (even if it is six months away).

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

Have you seen instances of herd/mob mentality in real life? What are some examples?

Monday Mayhem

Top 10 Most Horrifying Parasites

Posted on June 23, 2014June 19, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Welcome to Monday Mayhem where today, I will be talking about parasites. I was browsing YouTube the other day and came upon a video that’d caused me to delve deeper into the creepy world of parasites. The video goes by the name 10 Horrifying Parasites That Might Be Living Inside You. As I watched, a thought passed through my mind and it went something like this: With all these terrifying parasites on the loose, it’s a wonder why we don’t have zombies running around wreaking havoc on the planet.

Leishmania [Photo credit: CDC Public Health Image Library]

If you haven’t seen the video, here’s a breakdown of its contents. You may want to hold your stomach, as these may get gruesome in description.

10. Leishmania—Transmitted by sandfly bites, this parasite can cause hideous and painful sores. Up to two hundred lesions can form on the body leading to disability and scars. [Source: WHO]

9. Loa Loa—Lives inside the host for up to seventeen years, moving under the skin and causing swelling. Adult worms visibly move across the surface of the eyes. The treatment can result in personality changes. [Source: CDC, Popular Science]

8. Ascaris Lumbricoides—Over one billion people might be hosting these worms that grow up to thirty five centimeters in length. They can live for two years in the intestine and can block it. Victims often show no symptoms. [Source: CDC]

7. Onchocerca Volvulus—A worm that lives inside humans for fifteen years and grows half a meter (over one and a half feet) long. Disfigures skin and causes “River Blindness” resulting in sight loss. Up to eighteen million people are afflicted. [Source: WHO, CNN]

6. Toxoplasma Gondii—Up to fifty percent of human brains are infected with this this parasite spread by cats. Increases risk taking and depression. It might also explain national cultural differences. [Source: NY Times, Huffington Post, Scientific American]

5. Trypanosoma Brucei—Victims have trouble sleeping, poor coordination and are confused. Often fatal, symptoms of “Sleeping Sickness” can take years to appear when it’s already too late. [Source: WHO]

Entamoeba Histolytica [Photo credit: CDC Public Health Image Library]

4. Entamoeba Histolytica—One of the biggest parasitic killers on earth, claiming seventy thousand lives annually. Causes disease amoebiasis that can lead to chronic diarrhea and liver abscesses. [Source: New Scientist, CDIPD]

3. Trichuris Trichiura—Resides in the large intestine and is said to infect eight hundred million worldwide. Leads to diarrhea and anemia but in extreme cases the rectum can protrude from the anus. [Source: Scientific American]

2. Wuchereria Bancrofti—Over one billion people are at risk from this parasite that causes Elephantiasis. Victims suffer from enlarged body parts and resulting disability. [Source: WHO]

1. Naegleria Fowleri—Found in freshwater, the “Brain-Eating Amoeba” targets the brain and nervous system. Can cause PAM, a form of meningitis with a ninety-eight percent mortality rate that kills in weeks. [Source: National Geographic, Stanford University, CDC]

Now that you’ve read the Top 10 Most Horrifying Parasites list, it certainly provides another opportunity to look at other Top 10 lists. How about: Top 10 Ways to Kill Parasites? Or this one: Top 10 Cures for Parasites. If those lists exist, I’m sure I’ll be the first one to see what they have to say. For the time being, these Top 10 parasites have left me to wish I hadn’t known about them. Perhaps they have done the same for you.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What other parasites are there that I haven’t mentioned?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Questions

Posted on June 16, 2014June 18, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Today, for Monday Mayhem, I thought I’d try something different. As opposed to writing a post dedicated to zombies, I thought I’d write a post asking questions regarding the zombie genre instead. I’m hoping you can help me understand what you, the reader, like about zombies, as I know it will also provide me with some valuable information as to what kind of stories entertain you.

Are you ready for a heavy interrogation session? Good. I’ll ask the questions, then I’ll add a comment or two to get the discussion started. Let’s have some fun!

Do you consider zombies part of the Horror genre? Some folks think because zombies run, jump and attack like raptors they belong in a Steven Spielberg movie for kids. What do you think?

Should filmmakers and/or authors think about including gore in their stories? This is a straightforward question, but it depends if we’re talking about human or zombie gore. Big difference, I think.

What kind of zombie origin stories do you like? Remember, back a hundred years ago, zombies came from ancient voodoo practices while today’s zombie spawns from an outbreak of a deadly disease.

Do you like slow or fast zombies? Why? Everyone has an opinion these days about the type of undead knocking on the door. Which do you prefer?

Have you or are you planning to participate in a zombie run this year? Many folks enjoy the challenge of running in hopes of outwitting actors dressed in zombie costumes. Do you?

Have you or are you planning to dress as a zombie for this coming Halloween? I know a few of my friends who have participated in zombie birthday bashes. What about Halloween?

What are your favorite zombie movies? Zombies are hot, but it’s also nice to know what the viewing audience finds appealing with their choice of entertainment.

If you’ve read zombie novels this year, which ones have you read and why? This is one of those questions where personal preference goes a long way.

Do you like crossover stories such as Horror and Romance (i.e. Warm Bodies)? Many zombie fans like their undead without Romance or Science Fiction. What about you?

How much action in a zombie story is too much action? Many fans enjoy the idea of seeing how the survivors adapt to their new environment. But what if they’re under constant threat of the undead? Then what?

If you watch The Walking Dead, what do you like about it the most? When a major character dies on The Walking Dead, I bow my head in mourning. Does it affect you in the same way?

Are you a George A. Romero junkie? Many of today’s zombies possess traits that came from the mind of director George A. Romero. Have you seen any of his movies?

When watching a zombie movie, wouldn’t you like to have the characters refer to zombies as zombies? Many movies and TV shows don’t refer to zombies by their name. Instead, they choose other names to enhance the experience. What do you think about that?

That’s it for now. If I’ve missed anything, let me know.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What do you like about zombies the most?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Apocalypse: Aliens?

Posted on June 9, 2014June 2, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Today, I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while. I’m not sure if anyone will understand, but I’m going to try to explain it as clearly as I can. After all, Monday Mayhem wouldn’t be interesting if occasionally I didn’t include mayhem. Don’t you think?

In past posts, I’ve talked about zombie apocalypse causes. I’ve written about how neurotoxins can inhibit the brain’s ability to utilize cognitive reasoning in order to perform simple tasks. Alkaloids render victims helpless by producing a trancelike state all the while motor skills remain intact.

I’ve also documented how brain parasites such as Toxoplasma gondii could create a zombie crisis by attacking a victim’s brain and converting it into a bowl of mush. The parasite, which originates from ingesting undercooked meat, currently lives in one-third of the world’s population.

Then there’s Cysticercosis a parasite born from consuming undercooked pork infested with Taenia solium eggs. In some cases, the incubation period lasts ten years before symptoms begin to display themselves in the form of muscle swelling, atrophy, and fibrosis, which, in turn, would cause headaches, brain lesions and seizures. Imagine a society succumbing to a worldwide plague of this sort.

Although these zombie apocalypse causes stir the imagination of any undead fan, the one thing I’ve heard with resounding agreement is that we shouldn’t even consider merging the world of zombies with the world of aliens. But you know what I say? I say change is good. Have we forgotten that zombies from George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead originated from exposure to satellite radiation?

One cannot deny the similarities between zombies and aliens. For instance, inasmuch as zombies avoid having empty stomachs, likewise, aliens avoid having empty heads. In some form or fashion, every alien movie features extraterrestrials conducting experiments with the human anatomy. Like zombies, malevolent aliens want a piece of us.

If we take it one step further, why, in the first place, do zombies have to spawn from a disease here on earth? Why not have zombies emerge soon after aliens initiate a plan to take over the world? Aliens, deep in the heart of Texas, defeat American armies, transforming them into zombies bent on destroying humanity. Seems plausible, right?

Not everyone would agree, however. Ardent zombie fans would rather not marry genres and keep the status quo.

So, I’ll put the questions to you. Do you think adding aliens to the zombie genre would add a new level of excitement? Would it breathe life in a mature genre? And would the stories encourage other fans to follow the trend?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What do you think of genre hopping between zombies and aliens?

Monday Mayhem

Classic Films Zombie Style III

Posted on June 2, 2014May 28, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Jurassic Zombieland, Star Wars: Attack of the Zombies, Zombies of the Lost Ark, Zombienator XVII, Planet of the Zombies, and Close Encounters of the Undead Kind are all movies I’d love to see in the theater. The problem is no one’s made them—yet. But wouldn’t it be nice?

Classic Films Zombie Style has become a fun feature for Monday Mayhem. You can read the other parts to this series here: I & II.

How does it work? Well, I pick a film everyone ought to recognize, then I add a few zombies, amp up the violence, throw in a generous splattering of gore and voilà, you have yourself a zombie classic. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

Let’s see what Part Three of this series holds for us adventurous hunters of the undead.

Alien vs. Zombie—A meteor crashes into the arctic shelf triggering seismic activity in the region. A group of scientists travels to the North Pole to investigate the source of the earthquake. When the scientists arrive, they find an abandoned town and underneath it, a tunnel leading to the center of a complex maze. Inside the labyrinth, acid-blood pumping aliens sent to complete a mission, pick off the scientists one by one. But humans are not the aliens’ target. Humans are in the way. The aliens’ target appears from the sides and attacks the humans, transforming them into the enemy—zombie. Time to break out the popcorn; this is going to be a heck of a mess to clean up.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Zombies—After failing to heed warnings not to return to Hogwarts, Harry, Ron and Hermione investigate a series of attacks directed at the school administration and students. A brutal trail of body parts leads the trio to an underground chamber where they discover a horde of zombies has made it their home. The discovery propels the kids on a quest to secure the chamber and deal with the undead themselves. But in the midst of the Avada Kedavra killing curse, one of the zombies escapes and bites Harmione on the wrist. Faced with the inevitable loss of their friend to the undead, Harry and Ron have to decide the fate of Harmione. Will she become one of the crowds or will Harry have enough time to save her?

Die Hard Zombie—The Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles becomes the scene of a zombie apocalypse. The undead have taken over and floor by floor, they hunt for humans to satisfy their insatiable appetite. Trapped among the potential victims is John McClane, a New York cop with the knack of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. His wife Holly needs his help. He has to get to the horde from the top of the tower before the horde gets to his wife. Time is running out and his only weapon is a clip away from being empty. If he doesn’t save her, he might as well ring the zombie dinner bell himself. Will he make it?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What movies would you like to see rebooted zombie style?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs IV

Posted on May 26, 2014May 19, 2014 by Jack Flacco

If you’re new to Monday Mayhem, you’ll appreciate that I not only delve on the dark side of zombiehood, but also on the lighter side. And if you’re one of those folks who’s been reading me for a while, then by today’s title you’ll recognize where I’m going with this post.

That’s right. It’s that time again, folks. It’s time to put your thinking caps on and help me escape the zombies. Are you ready to indulge in some serious undead running? It ain’t gonna be pretty. Not today.

How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide. And if you missed them, here are the first three parts: I, II, III.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: Zombies have trapped twenty of your friends in the school gymnasium. The evil maggot bags are slamming against the door trying to get in. Your friends have barred the only entrance with a fire hose wrapped around the handles. They have minutes before the horde makes them meat. You’re alone in the hall on the opposite end, unarmed. Do you save your friends?

My Answer: My answer to this question will always be yes. At the same time, I’ll try to find something I can use to defend myself. If anything, I’ll try to draw them outside, giving my friends a chance to escape. Call me noble.

Scenario #2: You’re on a boat and you’ve run out of supplies. You have to get back to shore, but the undead have overrun the docks. If you land, you might as well say good-bye. What do you do? Do you take a chance at docking? Or do you attempt to sail to another port?

My Answer: Not knowing where to find another port will deter me from looking. Then again, I can try fishing to see if I can catch my dinner without sharks eating me. I’ll probably search the coast for a place where I can dock, then look for fresh supplies. This is a tough one.

Scenario #3: Your car ran out of gas in a small town. A service station rests two miles down Main Street. It’s dusk and soon you will not know what the evening will bring. Your passengers are shivering with fright. The two-mile hike is not far, but you’re afraid if you make the journey, your passengers will fall into the hands of the undead. Do you stay in town for the night; hoping shelter will provide the safety you need before dawn? Or do you take a chance, make the trek to the service station and when you return you hope to find the car and the passengers in one piece?

My Answer: I don’t know about you, but I’ll try to find a place to rest until morning, then I’ll make the journey to get gas in broad daylight. If anything, I want to see what will attempt to make me into a brunch dessert before I flee.

Scenario #4: On foot, you’re alone, running from the horde. You come across a bridge. Perfect. But you wonder if you cross it, will there be another horde on the other side waiting to turn you into its dinner. You take a chance, you cross the bridge. Halfway, another crowd of zombies appears at the opposite end of the bridge, just as you had suspected. What do you do? Do you turn back and take a chance hoping the original horde is not as gruesome as you might think? Or do throw yourself off the bridge to the water below, not knowing if the impact alone will kill you?

My Answer: I’d take a chance and go for the plunge. I’d rather die upon impact than to slowly waste away in the jaws of devouring zombies.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What would you do?

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