Looking to God

Memento’s Leonard

Posted on June 10, 2015June 2, 2015 by Jack Flacco

I wake up in the mornings not knowing who I am. I keep photos in my pocket as reminders of who people are. I even have gone as far as tattoo important clues to my identity all over my body. Like I said, when I wake up tomorrow morning, I won’t remember any of it. I will however have the photos and tattoos.

If you think that’s hard, try to remember your timeline moving backwards. Instead of learning as you go, you’re learning in reverse as you fall more and more into the sore spots of your memory. That’s what I have to deal with every day. It’s not easy. My life could have greater meaning, but how far can I get if I don’t remember from one day to the next who I am or who did me wrong?

Which brings me to my dilemma. Not only do I have to keep track of those who I’ve contacted, but I also have to maintain a system to keep me grounded. It’s a tough system but it works. I leave clues for myself all over my hotel room so when I wake up I can jumpstart the learning process again. The system covers everything. The dilemma is me not knowing who to trust. I have to write it down. Even the hotel manager of the room I’m staying has tried a few times to scam me. I caught him. From what I can tell, he’s a good guy though. He once asked if I could blame him for trying. I don’t blame him.

My only friend Teddy calls me Lenny, but that’s not my real name. Everyone thinks that if someone knows his or her own name it makes life easier. Not for me. I know my real name. It’s not Lenny. I’m still stumbling trying to figure me out.

I’ve learned something about myself recently. I’ve learned I don’t like people who say things because of what others expect. I’m fine with that. I have tattoos to prove what people do is the opposite of what they say. What I find disturbing is finding someone who is sincere but not remembering the person the next day. Do you know how hard it is to find someone honest only to forget about them after falling asleep?

I can go on by telling you about my tattoos, but the tats don’t make me who I am. I’m looking for someone. If I could define who I am, then I could say I’m the guy looking for someone. It’s the one thing that motivates me to live another day with this condition I have. It’s the only thing that compels me to move forward beyond the tall, thick walls within my mind.

I’m Leonard (Guy Pearce) from the movie Memento, today’s Wednesday Warriors‘ highlight.

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Have you seen Memento? What did you think of the mystery created by Christopher Nolan?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Apocalypse: Two Theories

Posted on June 8, 2015June 7, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Everyone has theories about zombies. Everyone can speculate what would happen should a zombie birth take place. And, yes. I have my theories, too. But what everyone might not know is that a theory is just a theory. That is unless it becomes a reality. In a zombie apocalypse, if a theory turns into a reality then it would become a nightmare.

That’s why for today’s Monday Mayhem feature, I’d like to toss my audience a couple of theories in the form of stories as to how I think a zombie apocalypse would begin.

Hold tight. I’m not sure if you’ll like it.

Theory 1—On Friday night, as a matter of safety, a supermarket chain received word from head office to pull all pork loin products. A small sampling of the meat tested positive for trichinosis, and unless cooked properly, the meat would render humans ill. Unfortunately, in a mad rush to serve a hungry brood of kids for a weekend BBQ, Amy bought the meat not realizing the harm it would cause. That Saturday night, all was well. Amy had made burgers from the meat and the kids sucked it all back without so much as a complaint. If anything, the kids ran along having fun in the backyard while the grownups cleaned the tables. The Sunday morning, Amy’s son Matthew didn’t wake up to have breakfast. Nothing unusual with sleeping in for a kid hitting puberty. At least that’s what her mother thought. When she opened the door to his room, he wasn’t in his bed. In fact, when Amy walked inside the room, expecting perhaps to find him at his desk, Matthew appeared from behind the door and bit her on the neck. The door closed behind Amy and screams trailed into the home’s empty second floor corridor.

The roundworm Trichinella spiralis parasite had infested Matthew’s brain, hatching eggs and controlling his motor skills to cause him to drag his feet as would a zombie searching for victims.

Theory 2—Ryan went fishing with his brother and caught more than the salmon he hauled out of the water. His forearm had swollen to the size of a golf ball and when he arrived home, he was feeling tired. He told his brother he wasn’t feeling well and that his brother ought to take the salmon home himself and clean it there. Of course, he received the flak from his brother he deserved, but that was before his brother saw how Ryan’s arm had inflated to the size of a grapefruit. In the center of the swelling was a big red dot. A mosquito had bitten Ryan. His brother raced Ryan to the hospital believing his brother was going into anaphylactic shock, a severe reaction to the mosquito’s bite. Several minutes into the car ride, Ryan awoke from his slumber, foamed at the mouth, saw his brother and attacked him without provocation. They died in a car crash at the foot of the highway.

The mosquito was a carrier of a rare form of bovine spongiform encephalopathy it had acquired when feeding off a warm cattle carcass. Mad cow disease—it had mutated to drive Ryan crazy.

Your Turn—Can you think of other theories?

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What plausible scientific explanation do you think would jumpstart a zombie apocalypse?

Letter to Future Self

Posted on June 5, 2015May 9, 2017 by Jack Flacco

How would you start a letter addressed to your future self? Let’s say you know you’ll be opening it twenty-five years from now, what would you say? Would you start it off congratulating yourself for having survived another quarter century? Or would you simply turn over in bed one morning muttering something silly under your breath? Perhaps you would say, “Meh.”

I’ll tell you how I would do it…

Dear Jack,

Here you are, twenty-five years later. How does it feel to be officially old? Imagine where you were/where I am now, and pat yourself on the back for having survived this long. It takes guts to go through a full lifetime having read all the warning labels on products, obeying your traffic signals and eating the right things to live another day. But you did it. You’re here and there’s no turning back the clock.

How did I do? Did I finally become that best selling author I dreamed of becoming? Whatever happened to the blog I wrote? Did it go out peacefully, or did I call it quits while I unceremoniously set my laptop on fire? Do I still use a laptop? I would have thought by now I would have been typing on an air keyboard complete with optical sensors and biometric security.

Whatever happened to the movie I wanted to make? Did it ever become a success? Okay, so maybe that was shooting too high. At least I would have hoped to have realized it, right?

How are the kids? Did they grow up to become what you had wished—contributors to society? I didn’t forget that it doesn’t matter what they have become, as long as they’re healthy and happy, that’s all that matters. You do remember that, right?

Hey, how’s retirement? Did you retire like you were planning or are your working as a greeter at a department store? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just that, I would have imagined flipping burgers being more fun in the elderly years. The image of a cranky old dude flipping burgers seems like a lot of fun. Now that I’m thinking of it, did I do that? Yeah, if I have forgotten about my retirement plans it’s because of what I just wrote.

How’s the love of my life? Has she grown old with me? I’ve always had a sense of recognizing how important she is to my well-being. Did she provide the encouragement to become the best I could be? She is the mother of my children, after all. Did I comfort her during her down times? Did I offer her guidance as we moved from year to year? How is marriage treating me? Hopefully, as good as it is now.

Listen, Jack. I gotta tell you something. You know this, but after having read it twenty-five years later, I’m sure you have forgotten it. Have fun with your life. Keep focused and enjoy. I’m sure I’m going to have some nasty battles to fight. It won’t matter. As long as I know I will survive, that’s all I care about.

One more thing: About that Romance novel I will be publishing—I don’t need to mention again why I had written it, do I? It was something I had to get out of my system. The only thing you have to remember is that it was my way of decompressing from the zombie genre.

And the superhero thing—but we won’t get into that.

Yours in the past, always in the future,

Jack

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
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RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

Have you ever written a letter to yourself?

Wednesday Warriors

Ethan Hunt

Posted on June 3, 2015May 31, 2015 by Jack Flacco

No matter how many iterations Mission: Impossible will go through, versions, remakes, reboots—I will always be a fan. And no matter how many heroes/anti-heroes the series gives birth to, I will always be a fan.

What makes Mission: Impossible such a great TV/movie series to follow is not only the awesome music—does anyone not know the Mission: Impossible theme?—but also the premise to the franchise. The premise is simple, spies try to outwit each other in a game of cat and mouse until there’s a winner. There’s more to it than that, but as a general rule, that’s what Mission: Impossible is all about.

In the Sixties, the coolest part of the series is the self-destructive tape recorder Mr. Phelps (Peter Graves) has five seconds from which to escape. The other part is the pull-away masks. These two items is the meat and potatoes of the Mission: Impossible series that carries over remake after remake. No matter how many versions I’ve seen of the series, how many times have I seen an MI agent remove a face and trick us all into believing the agent was someone else?

As a leader and a very smart individual, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is one of those agents. He has the cool gadgets. He has the masks to boot. However, nothing in his box of magic does he pull off the greatest spy capers without the help of his loyal team.

The current incarnation makes Ethan into an action hero. He can do anything. He can hop out of planes, drive fast cars, blow away enemy agents with his dead-accurate aim, and he can wow a woman simply by his charm. If I didn’t know better, he was a superhero.

Ethan’s big thrill is to catch an enemy agent in the act. If that means he has to scale a castle wall, knock out four guards, dive through a corridor booby-trapped by lasers, then that’s what Ethan will do. He will do whatever it takes to get the job done.

The cool gadgets are a bonus. From pen lasers to invisible ink, Ethan has it all. The best gadget however, is the one he uses against another agent during a dinner meeting. Green light, red light is how Ethan puts it. He bends a piece of chewing gum in half and tosses the piece on the face of an aquarium. It is one of the most thrilling scenes in the series. I believe it’s the same scene where he says, “Upset? You haven’t seen me upset.”

Lastly, what would Ethan Hunt be without his team? He needs the help of other agents to accomplish his missions. His team consists of experts in the field of technology, physics and the human condition. They follow his lead in everything. The tougher the mission, the more his team provides their loyalty to him.

What else can one say about Wednesday Warriors‘ Ethan Hunt? He’s a secret agent. Knowing that, he might as well be a superhero.

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Have you watched any of the Mission: Impossible shows or movies? What do you like about it?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Problems

Posted on June 1, 2015May 31, 2015 by Jack Flacco

I wouldn’t want to be a zombie. Although some may not agree, a zombie life seems much too complicated a life to live. What’s complicated about it? Okay, I’ll agree that roaming about seeking of whom they may devour sounds simple. It’s not. There are elements that zombies have to take into consideration when doing the roaming about.

For Monday Mayhem, let’s have a look at what those elements are.

Predators—As strange as it may seem, zombies have a natural predator. The hunted is the hunter. Humans do not take kindly when the undead mess around with their turf. Even if zombies can tear human’s apart, humans can pose a great risk to zombies. Humans can band together to destroy zombies permanently.
Water—As much as zombies could rule the earth, toss them into water, they’re useless. They might float but more than likely they will sink to the bottom. If anything, they will walk the depths until they find a place to climb out of their watery grave.
Walls—Zombies don’t do well with walls. Unless they’re like ants, as depicted in World War Z, they can’t climb. They might do well with ladders, but they’d have to figure out how a ladder works.
Guns—Nothing scares a zombie more than a shotgun pointed at its face. That is to say, if a zombie had any fear whatsoever. Most of the time, it’s charging and not worried about the huge hole it will have in its head if a human were to pull the trigger. Guns and zombies do not make for a good combination to the undead.
Knives—Equally as devastating as a gun is the knife. One good thrust in the undead’s temple and it’s lights out Mr. Chewer. The positive side in the knife battle issue for zombies is that humans have to get close to inflict damage. By then however, one bite is all they need to make it a fair game for everyone.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles—Zombies would have a hard time defending themselves against a semi-truck headed in their direction. The impact alone would kill them, let alone the mess it would make all over the highway. Any transportation device really would count as a weapon against the undead.
Tight Alleys—You either get or don’t get this. With a horde of zombies trampling their way through a city, a group would surely get stuck in an alley somewhere because of them piling in there all at the same time. Shoulder to shoulder, crunched in a small space, can anyone deny their stupidity for having done such a silly thing?
Fire—If life teaches humans anything, it’s that fire is a great equalizer. Nations use it to subdue other nations, why not human use it to subdue zombies?
Winter—Canadian winters are brutal animals. They drag from the Arctic, cover the cities and freeze everything in their wake. A zombie would do well moving to Florida when a Canadian winter hits.
A Samurai Sword—Given the Samurai sword has made debuts in feature films and TV shows as a weapon of choice for zombie slayers, no doubt the undead would feel the threat of its cold steel gleaming in the sunlight. The undead would do well running as fast and as far away as they can.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

What other problems do zombies have to face when chasing their dinner through an alley or a library?

Freedom Friday, Photo Opportunities

Our Anniversary Weekend

Posted on May 29, 2015May 8, 2017 by Jack Flacco

The cool thing about being married for over twenty years is that we finish each other’s sentences.

Me: Honey, where did you put my slippers?
Her: Did you check under the bed?
Me: Yep.
Her: Did you check the closet?
Me: Yep.
Her: Did you check—
Together: The bathroom?

The other cool thing about being married for over twenty years is that we can go on an anniversary weekend getaway without worrying about the kids.

In fact, just recently, that’s exactly what we did. For a number of years now, we’ve packed our bags, loaded the car and headed to wherever the wind would take us. This year we ended up going north into cottage country where the moose are aplenty and the wilderness is our friend. We booked a hotel in Barrie, Ontario and took each day as a blessing without worrying about what came next.

My wife took the liberty to grab the honeymoon suite with a gorgeous Jacuzzi in the middle of the room. I must say, she knows me so well. I should have been a water baby.

The first thing we did when arriving on the Friday night was to unpack, jump on the bed, then relax a bit before heading to our favorite sushi restaurant. It’s a tradition of ours to find a sushi restaurant and stick with it for life. We have a modest dive in our town that only seats twenty. The food is incredible, and we wouldn’t give it up for the world. Similarly, in the town where we were staying, we found a sushi place a few years ago that we always go to regardless of the drive.

I would say the best part of the trip is the unwinding part. Whatever we had brought on the trip, we left in the sushi restaurant when talking about the day. A funny thing happens when we do that. It feels like a cloud lifts and we officially hit vacation mode. In between the Salmon Maki and the Chicken Fried Rice, our life suddenly become less complicated after knowing we have a few days of relaxation to do whatever we want.

From there, we headed to the theater to watch Tomorrowland. My wife enjoyed it. I, however, was so tired by the week that I fell asleep about halfway through the thing. Interesting tidbit of the evening: A couple of teenagers were sitting next to me doing nothing more than kissing up a storm. I was surprised to find by the end of the night their seats hadn’t caught fire with me going up in flames next to them.

On the Saturday, we spent the entire day in the hotel room. Yes, some of you might be thinking what a waste, but if you knew the hectic schedule my wife and I have during the week, you would take a month in deep cryogenic stasis to regain your energy. Besides, it had a Jacuzzi in the middle of the room—I mention that, didn’t I? I don’t think I need to say anything else.

That evening, we headed over to Boston Pizza then took in Avengers: Age of Ultron. This time, I did not fall asleep. What a great movie.

It looks like an abstract but it's really the blue lights illuminating the outside of our hotel. — It looks like an abstract but it’s really the blue lights illuminating the outside of our hotel.

The marina where my wife and I took our walk.

I'm not sure what this is, but it was awesome to photograph. — I’m not sure what this is, but it was awesome to photograph.

The next day, we checked out early. My wife suggested we try out the marina about ten minutes away. Wow, if there ever was an idea so awesome, this was it. We stayed there a few hours taking a walk on the boardwalk, talking about our future. We dreamed of having a boat someday. Actually, it was I dreaming about the boat and it was her saying, “You’ll have to take care of it. You know that, right?” My feet came back to earth and we continued hand-in-hand talking about other dreams.

We wound the day by heading home, sweet, home where we took the kids out to eat in the evening while talking about our weekend getaway.

I don't eat them often, but chicken wings sure hit the spot. — I don’t eat them often, but chicken wings sure hit the spot.

In the midst of it all, my wife and I eventually concluded as much as we love our getaways, there’s nothing quite like family.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
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Do you take weekend getaways with your significant other? What is your fondest memory?

Wednesday Warriors

Danny Ocean

Posted on May 27, 2015May 26, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Vegas hasn’t been the same with Danny Ocean (George Clooney) in town. He has broken the bank on more than one occasion. Casino owners hate him. His ex-wife Tess (Julia Roberts) hates him. But he’s looking for a change. He just got out of prison and he’s got a score to settle. And what would Wednesday Warriors be without a true risk taker such as Danny Ocean hitting the scene?

George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia and Julia Roberts

Danny has a plan. As extraordinary a plan as it seems, he wants to rob a casino. His friends Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) and Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) think he’s crazy. And it might just be the craziest idea he has had in a long time. Why not? The casino’s there, why not rob it?

Maybe his friends are right. Maybe robbing one casino is a crazy idea. Maybe instead of robbing one casino, he’s shooting too low. How about robbing three casinos all at the same time? His friends couldn’t call him crazy anymore, that’s for sure. After all, a stunt like that would make him insane.

In the planning phases, and as his team grows, the fact comes out that his ex-wife married Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) the owner of the casinos. What better way to taste vengeance than to take from the very man who is the supposed provider for the former love of his life?

Danny also has a knack for remaining calm in a frantic situation. When he thinks his gang has reached the limit as to what they can do, he simply asks Rusty if they need another guy. When Rusty doesn’t respond, he takes the silence as a yes. To make sure, he asks again. Again, when Rusty doesn’t respond, Danny goes and hires one more guy.

All told, eleven make Danny’s gang. Each member has a gift. Each one has a specialty all his own that no one else can replace. This is what makes Danny Ocean’s gang unique.

As part of the heist, he commissions them to find a way to get to the money locked in an impenetrable vault, buried deep in the ground with laser triggers at every turn. If Danny is to get to that money, he will need more than an elite team a thieves. Danny will need his suave charm, his exceptional intelligence and plain ol’ good luck working on his side.

Okay, so he’s been in prison—but it has yet to stop him from committing one of the biggest heists Vegas has seen. He wants that guaranteed payout and revenge against his ex-wife for her decision to remarry, even if he won’t admit doing it because of that.

Aside from Danny Ocean’s charm and wit, he loves the thrill of the chase. Nothing can compare with watching a plan come together. He lives for this kind of stuff.

Mild mannered, level-headed Danny Ocean. He’s got an ace up his sleeve.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

Have you seen any of the Ocean movies? What did you like the most about them?

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