Monday Mayhem – Page 12 – Looking to God

Why I Like Aliens

Posted on August 25, 2014August 21, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Last week for Monday Mayhem, I wrote Why I Like Zombies. I detailed how I enjoy watching a movie or reading a book where the undead are unrelenting with capturing their prey. I also drew a connection between those dastardly demons and their representation of humanity’s search for everlasting life. Lastly, I wrote about how they are metaphoric depictions of a writer’s overactive imagination—specifically, my overactive imagination.

This week, I want to talk about the reasons I like aliens.

Unlike zombies, who have a distinct set of rules dictating behavior, biological makeup and life expectancy, aliens have none of that. In fact, alien folklore is so open-ended that anyone can make up anything about these characters and still call them aliens. I like that aspect of the extraterrestrials. Spider-Man 3 had an interesting take on aliens. If you haven’t seen it, it had to do with an organism that has the ability to amplify the negative traits in a person, thereby rendering them evil. It’s quite a fascinating twist of the ordinary alien subplot you see in many other films because in this case, the alien does not have a fixed appearance.

On the other hand, I also like aliens because of the exact opposite of what I just wrote. In some circles, aliens have a concrete mythology based on the crash landing of an alleged spacecraft in 1947 Roswell, New Mexico. The UFO supposedly contained aliens the U.S. government, to this day, conspired to suppress detailed information. This incident sparked multiple theories of the government’s involvement with other planetary life forms. These theories created the legends of little green men from mars all the way to Area 51’s complicity to housing alien ships for technological studies.

I like the fact that some of my favorite movies have aliens in them as well. Movies like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T., Men in Black, and Paul feature them in prominent roles as visitors from another planet. What’s not to like of cuddly creatures aiming to take over earth?

Much like zombies, aliens also have an allegorical value to them. In the 1950’s, society’s biggest enemy was communism. Naturally, what did Hollywood do? Of course, they produced Invasion of the Body Snatchers, a film about people taken over by aliens. The commentary came when America was in the midst of McCarthyism—a time when anti-communist sentiment was at its height. It’s that allegory that attracts me to aliens the most. Aliens can symbolize any hot-topic issue thinly disguised as entertainment. They can come to embody social non-conformity matters, oppressive governments or even control-centric cults. The possibilities are endless.

But you know what? I also like aliens because they make incredible splatter patterns when shot.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

Do you like aliens? What do you like them? What other alien legends haven’t I covered?

Monday Mayhem

Why I Like Zombies

Posted on August 18, 2014August 18, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Have I ever told you why I like zombies? I mean, I write my Monday Mayhem posts, but I don’t think I’ve mentioned the reason why I’m drawn to these ill-fated, putrid-smelling, bile-seeping maggot bags the media affectionately calls zombies. I have a number of reasons for liking them, and today, you’re going to find out.

Asbury Park Zombie Walk 2010 (This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.)

As many of my regular readers know, I have an affinity for 80’s movies. Because of that love for all things retro, Terminator has always been at the top of my list of sci-fi/action flicks for a cold Friday night. Why? You see, terminators keep coming after you. No matter how many bullets you pump into them, two-by-fours you break over their head, and knives you use to gut them, they still keep coming after you. I like that idea. Zombies are like that, too. If a zombie does not sustain a bullet to the head, it will drag, pull and follow its way to you until you are dead. They don’t know pain. They don’t know exhaustion. They don’t even have a clue they are undead. But one thing’s for sure, they will not give up until they see you screaming in absolute terror, awaiting your fate under their feet.

Apart from my enjoyment of seeing the zombie inclination to persevere, I have fun with the idea that their walk, in a subtle sort of way, embodies the afterlife. Who doesn’t want to know what happens to them when they die? For years, vampires have shown themselves as Horror’s answer to everlasting life. In all truth, though, all things have to end. Enter the zombie. Not much different from vampires, the zombie life depends entirely on the consumption of human victims. The difference being, zombies hunt as part of hordes. Humanity’s fascination with the afterlife has created these creatures as a way to understand what it means to die. What will happen to us? What is the purpose of this life? Why are we here? I don’t know about you, but if I die, I’d rather not imagine a life befitting a zombie. Sounds like a messy affair to me.

The biggest reason I love zombies, and this is purely from a writer’s perspective, is that they can represent anything a writer wants to convey by way of metaphor. In other words, if I want to talk about how oppressive a society is of its people, I can simply write the zombies as a depiction of that society and of its willingness to destroy its victims, eating them to the bone. Same goes for cults that have a way of controlling their brethren. You know the kind, where the members can’t do anything without church consent or recommendation. The zombies in that story become despicable demons bent on absolute destruction of its family members.

The possibility of using metaphors is endless.

So much of what goes on in the media becomes fodder for zombie stories. I can’t dispute the fact that the undead have a way of bringing people together. One day, I’m sure I’ll find out what it all means. Until that day, I’ll keep enjoying movies featuring zombies in thrilling chases, stories about the undead living forever, and of life’s little metaphors.

Now do you see why I like zombies?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

Why do you like zombies?

Monday Mayhem

Alien Invasion: Survival Plan

Posted on August 11, 2014August 10, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Many alien invasion movies have the extraterrestrials coming to earth, raping the land of its resources, then leaving. Sometimes, we are the resource, which soon triggers a cat-and-mouse game humans would rather forget. Need I mention War of the Worlds and what the aliens did to our planet in that movie?

For this week’s Monday Mayhem post, let’s have a look at survival techniques when facing off against aliens. Let’s also concentrate a few moments on what we can do to thwart a possible invasion from our planetary neighbors.

Before I go on, let’s get something out of the way first. I’ve always been reluctant to use the term “we” in any of my posts. In fact, I try to avoid using it as much as possible. Some folks say it denotes inclusivity in order to place leadership in the midst of the people. In my mind, however, it has always set the speaker above the listener by way of privileged knowledge sharing. It also gives the impression the speaker is in a better position of distributing said knowledge than the listener—therefore, not making them equal in status, but privileged. So, it’s with some reservations I use the term “we” today, not because I feel privileged to lord it over you, but because, just like you, I’m part of the human race and wouldn’t know what else to call us. Besides, there’s no way I’d like for you to become equal to my insanity when I write these posts about zombies and aliens. That would be sick.

All right, what can we do to survive an alien invasion? Unlike zombies where we can shoot them in the head and it’s all over and done with, aliens require a new set of rules.

For instance, some aliens will hunt us with heat-seeking scanners, much like in the movie Predator. And we all know what happened there. Hadn’t it been for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character thinking of a brilliant plan, like the rest of his team, the creature would have also skinned and hung him from a tree upside down.

Some aliens will bleed acid, making killing them a virtual impossible task. I cite the movie Aliens and how in one scene, blood sprayed all over a soldier while attempting to shoot the ravaging beast. Not a pleasant sight, I might add.

Some aliens will eat us if we’re not careful. For this example, I call upon Men in Black where an alien bug ate Tommy Lee Jones’ character. Lucky for him he had a way out.

So you see, aliens come in different varieties. How on earth—pun fully intended—are we to defend ourselves? How would we be able to survive? Like I said, with zombies it’s pretty easy—one shot to the head and they’re over and done with. What about aliens? How would we do it?

Here’s my survival plan. Bear in mind, this is totally unscientific. I came up with this while shaving. If it’s a bit uneven, then you’ll know why.

Ready? Here it is…

Run!

Simple, right? Would you have expected anything less than a concise plan from me? I don’t think so. The point of the matter is if aliens try to invade our world, we’d be dead. In an effort to eradicate them from our planet, I soon wouldn’t doubt a nuclear strategy being in the cards. Running north seems like a good idea, I’d say. Away in the woods where defending ourselves against bears would be easier than from organ-probing monsters.

Then again, maybe it’s all for naught.

Maybe, just maybe—they’ll come in peace.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What would you recommend as another survival technique?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Apocalypse: Pentagon Action Plan

Posted on August 4, 2014August 3, 2014 by Jack Flacco

If you’re thinking the title to this Monday Mayhem post is too outlandish for even the wildest of fiction, think again. The Pentagon has a plan of action in place to quell a zombie uprising, should it ever hit American soil. This, coupled with the fact that the U.S. Military’s involvement with such an operation could constitute an admission that zombies do exist, should make readers wary of such a plan. After all, zombies aren’t real, right?

Details of the plan came to light with a May 16, 2014 article posted on CNN going by the title Pentagon Document Lays Out Battle Plan Against Zombies by Jamie Crawford, CNN National Security Producer.

The document, simply known as CONOP 8888, provides the U.S. a response to a zombie apocalypse, should a zombie apocalypse ever occur. Of course, the plan is part of the military’s emergencies and catastrophes training, and part of that training contains language suited more for an action movie.

Here are some of the highlights:

During the design of CONOP 8888 in the summers of 2009 and 2010, training squadrons from USSTRATCOM (United States Strategic Command is one of nine Unified Combatant Commands of the United States Department of Defense (DoD)) found the zombie survival plan provided useful information to participants who sought direction in key initiatives against the undead.
The document retains the “Unclassified” moniker to ensure maximum exposure to those seeking a way to combat zombies.
Part of the fictional Contingency Planning Guidance (CPG), the USSTRATCOM has developed the plan’s objective as threefold: “1) Establish and maintain a vigilant defensive condition aimed at protecting humankind from zombies. 2) If necessary, conduct operations that will, if directed, eradicate zombie threats to human safety. 3) Aid civil authorities in maintaining law and order and restoring basic services during and after a zombie attack.”
CONOP 8888 also provides extensive background information regarding defensive and offensive operations against the zombie horde, including, but not limited to engagement.

Part of the document explores assumptions about the enemy threat. For instance, since every dead human can become a zombie, every human casualty represents a potential increase to the undead population. In turn, “the only assumed way to effectively cause casualties to the zombie ranks by tactical forces is the concentration of all firepower to the head, specifically the brain. The human brain will still be functioning in the zombie state, but it is universally agreed that the only part actually active will be the brain stem.”

Of all the assumptions documented, this is the biggest one of all, “Because accurate intelligence related to zombies will be hard to obtain using traditional methods, planners will have to assume worst-case scenarios derived from popular culture references (books, movies, comic books) to adequately model zombie threats.”

In other words, if the internet is still around, this website will be one popular stopover for USSTRATCOM. Who knows, perhaps they’ve already archived this post for future use against the undead.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What do you think of the Pentagon’s zombie action plan?

Monday Mayhem

Real Zombie Stories

Posted on July 28, 2014July 28, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Nowadays, zombies are everywhere. In the movies we watch. In the stories we read. And even in the songs we listen to. Can anyone forget Michael Jackson’s Thriller video? I know I can’t. But one place I don’t want to read about zombies is in real life. That whole debacle that happened two years ago with the “Miami Zombie” was something out of a pulp fiction magazine. Doing some research, I found it wasn’t an isolated incident. For today’s Monday Mayhem post, I’d like to talk about real zombies that once roamed among us who have left behind an indelible story as their legacy.

Let’s start with the story of Clairvius Narcisse who one day in 1980 walked into a hospital in Deschapelle, Haiti, almost twenty years after he had died. His family had buried him, that, they knew. They later found his grave disturbed. What they didn’t know was that a local voodoo doctor, a bokor, stole Narcisse’s body and enslaved him to work on a plantation. When the bokor died, Narcisse’s days as a slave died along with him. Authorities believe the bokor had poisoned him with Tetrodotoxin, a powerful neurotoxin that produces a comatose state, had him buried to convince the family he had died, then had him exhumed, later feeding him Datura stramonium, a hallucinogen known as Jimson weed, to keep him enslaved. Dr. Nathan Klein and Dr. Lamarque Douyon confirmed Narcisse’s story as the first case of zombieism.

Alexander Kinyua, twenty-one years old, of Maryland was an engineering student at Morgan State University. He had emigrated from Kenya to the United States, becoming a citizen. On May 25, 2012, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie had disappeared, reported missing by Kinyua’s father. At the time, Agyei-Kodie was staying with the family pending deportation. On May 31, police appeared at Kinyua’s residents after his brother contacted them to investigate body parts found in tin canisters in the family’s basement. Police arrested Alexander Kinyua on first degree murder. Kinyua had allegedly eaten Agyei-Kodie’s organs.

Since I’d mentioned him in my introduction, let’s talk about Rudy Eugene. Dubbed the “Miami Zombie”, on May 26, 2012 he assaulted a homeless man, one Ronald Poppo. Eugene died after Miami police had shot him dead. The details of the assault are gruesome. Eugene accused Poppo of stealing, then proceeded to beat him unconscious. What happened next belongs in a fiction novel. For eighteen horrifying minutes, Eugene ate Poppo’s face leaving him blind. When Officer Jose Ramirez confronted him, requesting him to desist from the attack, Eugene growled at him. Subsequent to Eugene’s death, police sources speculated bath salts might have played a part in the attack. Toxicology reports however found traces of marijuana in Eugene’s system. No bath salts.

In the wake of Alexander Kinyua and Rudy Eugene’s attacks in 2012, the CDC had issued a statement saying, “CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).”

The world has always had its fill of zombies, whether they are of those people who have lost their humanity in throes of indifference or otherwise. We hear the stories. Perhaps it’s about time to live beyond ourselves in order to prove zombies shouldn’t exist in our real lives. And only then would we be able to rid the world of those zombies that keep us awake at night.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

Have you heard of these stories? What do you think of the CDC’s statement regarding the attacks of 2012?

Monday Mayhem

Top 10 Alien Invasion Movies

Posted on July 21, 2014July 20, 2014 by Jack Flacco

It never fails. Every summer there’s an alien invasion movie that hits the box office to steamroll critics and become a ginormous success. Does anyone remember Independence Day? This summer, the mega-film Transformers: Age of Extinction may be on approach to becoming 2014’s first billion-dollar movie.

Since it’s summer, and since everyone wants to read something quick while doing other things. I thought for Monday Mayhem I’d give you a list of my most favorite alien invasion movies ever. This list is not complete, but these alien films stick out in my mind as the ones that made summer awesome for me.

Here they are. My Top 10 alien summer flicks from least to most favorite:

10. Mars Attacks!—Released December 13, 1996, this Tim Burton film makes it feel like summer. The aliens are horrible critters bent of the destruction of humanity. What makes this film special is the hilarity that ensues once the humans finally meet the visitors.

9. Cloverfield—Released January 18, 2008, aliens couldn’t be more frightening. Bugs are not fun when they’re human-sized pests that only a shotgun can take out. Yes, another winter title, but it wouldn’t be right not to include Cloverfield in this list.

8. Alien—Released May 25, 1979, Ridley Scott created a creature so vicious, it was a wonder anyone survived. It’s not an invasion of earth, but brilliant nonetheless.

7. The Thing—Released June 25, 1982, this John Carpenter classic is sure to make you think twice before heading to a remote place in the arctic for a vacation. Make sure you know who your friends are before heading there.

6. Predator—Released June 12, 1987, the film poses a question: who would win a battle to dominate the world, Arnold Schwarzenegger or an alien schooled in the fine art of warfare? Governator jokes aside, Arnie puts the smack dab on anything remotely alien.

5. Signs—Released August 2, 2002, M. Night Shyamalan presents his version of an alien invasion based on hints and Hitchcockian deception. A worthy film to enjoy that illustrates what it would be like if aliens tried to take over an ordinary Joe’s farm.

4. Men in Black—Released, July 2, 1997, this film has it all . Aliens. Government conspiracy. Secret agencies. Not taking itself seriously, the movie provides a great escape from the ordinary hustle and bustle of ordinary life. Excellent special effects.

3. Transformers movies (all of them)—Released 2007-2014, Michael Bay’s view of an alien invasion consists of explosions, more explosions and tons of explosions. This true-to-the-genre flick blows away anything standing in its way and decimates whatever’s left.

2. War of the Worlds—Released June 29, 2005, Steven Spielberg throws his hat in the ring to present his version of malevolent beings wanting to take over the earth. Making this movie special is the survival story of one family led by Tom Cruise.

1. Independence Day—Released July 3, 1996, summer alien invasion movies haven’t been the same since. With a good helping of dogfights, sarcastic one-liners and skin-slicing thrills, this movie delivers on the promise that aliens are insidious beings with no redeeming qualities other than to become mantelpiece trophies for the survivors. Lots of action makes this the go-to film for popcorn munching viewers with a few hours to kill.

I know I’ve missed many fine titles like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and It Came From Outer Space. Thing is, I wasn’t around when they released, so I can’t really say they made my summer. But wouldn’t it have been cool to live during the days when B-movies reigned supreme?

I know I would have loved it.

[Notable mentions go to Pacific Rim and Battleship. Nothing quite beats films produced to celebrate the human spirit than those featuring humanity fighting against all odds and winning.]

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What are your favorites? Why do you like them?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Kill of the Week II

Posted on July 14, 2014July 13, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Given the past few Monday Mayhem posts have been on the serious side, I thought I’d lighten the mood today. Instead of talking about diseases, viruses, and pork and beans for dinner, I figure I’d make fun of those dratted zombies and see how much I could get away with. Don’t expect any literary brilliance or anything educational. I’m just going to sound off about what makes me happy. And that’s killin’ zombies. That’s right folks. I’m going to talk about my all-time favorite ways to kill zombies.

I really hope you haven’t eaten anything recently. Let’s start from the very beginning. I ordered them from least to greatest, placing emphasis on the most outrageous kill as the last item on the list.

[Disclaimer: Written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Please don’t be an idiot and try any of these with humans. It’s not only stupid, it’s illegal. You will go to jail. Okay?]

10. Shooting a zombie in the head—Nothing quite comes close to putting a bullet in a zombie brain. Big bonus here is the splatter patterns behind the wall when said bullet penetrates the undead cranium. Not only do you get a dead zombie on your hands but also some very cool artwork to boot.

9. Spraying kerosene over a zombie and setting it alight—What does every living creature fear most in this world? Yep, you know it. Fire. Kerosene to the face of an oncoming undead creature will temporarily blind it. But lighting a match, will be like the Fourth of July all over again.

8. Throwing a zombie off a cliff, watching the impact crack its skull—If anything, this has to be the most fun anyone can have with a zombie. Easiest way to do this is grabbing it by its lapels and tossing it in one fluid motion. The kicker is watching the evil demon burst into a puddle of juices when it hits bottom. Where’s David Letterman when you need him?

7. Smashing a zombie’s head with a crowbar until everything’s covered in goo—Getting medieval on zombies deserves a better rep. This has to be the messiest of the lot. Just make sure you’re wearing a raincoat when caving in the undead’s intellect. Nothing’s worse than having a laundry basket full of dead stuff stuck to fibers.

6. Jamming a screwdriver into a zombie’s temple until it collapses—As easy as it sounds, it’s not. You’re in close proximity with the undead more than any other situation. Best using that screwdriver while standing. If you’re lying down, you’ll have to deal with the drip. Not the most pleasant of situations for a would-be zombie slayer.

5. Decapitating a zombie with a souvenir confederate sword from the American civil war—You want to talk about fun? This is it. You’ll find these heirlooms hanging around garage sales, and you’ve always wondered what you’d do with them. Well, here’s your chance. These suckers are perfect for zombie beheadings. If you can’t find a confederate sword, a samurai sword will do just as well. Aw, heck. Any ol’ sword or knife will do the trick.

4. Strapping a zombie into a car and ramming it into a brick wall—This is the hardest to do. Have you ever tried restraining a zombie? Not easy, let me tell you. You’ll need brute force strength and lots of gumption to get the job done. But once that liver eater’s in the car, there’s nothing much it can do. Best use a rock to hold the accelerator down. Then, watch the fun. If you have several to get rid of the same time, you can shove them all in and call it a joy ride.

3. Driving an ice pick through the zombie’s mouth, severing its spinal cord, thereby rendering it dead—Much like the screwdriver idea, this one is more personal. You’ll once again need to get real close. The best part about it is if you miss the mouth, you can always go for the eye.

2. Clamping a zombie’s head in a paint mixer, watching it spin—I don’t think I need to explain this one. Let’s just say the undead will never walk straight again.

1. Running over a zombie until every ounce of unholy breath expels from its maggot-filled lungs—That’s right. This is the grudge solution. You have a mechanical beast at your disposal and the undead in front. Aim and drive. You don’t even have to do this with a car. You can use a bus, a dump truck, a jeep. The bigger the vehicle, the more of a mess it will be.

This post is based on Zombie Kill of the Week. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it does.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

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