It’s spring break here in Canada, so I thought I’d give you a treat today. Rather than a laborious tome of sorts you have to work through, I’m going to give you something different to chew on (‘scuse the pun).
For today’s Monday Mayhem article, I’m going to scrawl a list of reasons why I think zombies are cool. A single list. No elaborate references. No major theories—although that would be cool, too.
Here we go:
- There are fast zombies for some of us and there are slow zombies for some of us.
- They’re Horror’s biological Terminators.
- Once they see something they want, they never surrender pursuing it.
- The genre is always changing.
- A virus that can turn people into the undead is a pretty scary thing.
- A shotgun is the weapon of choice for many zombie slayers.
- Zombies make great crash test dummies.
- Zombies can’t swim.
- Zombies can’t fly either, unless you throw them off a cliff. But even then…
- A Louisville Slugger, popcorn and a horde of zombies make for a fun evening staying in.
- A lot of thought goes into pulling off a memorable zombie kill.
- A narrow alley, a truck and a crowd of undead proves you don’t need a shotgun to kill them.
- Sharks and zombies share many similarities.
- Throwing a zombie from a plane still doesn’t prove they can fly.
- Zombies vs. Skunks. I still say skunks would win.
- They’ll keep pounding on the door no matter how many chairs you put in front of it.
- They don’t take no for an answer.
- Running up a tree doesn’t guarantee your safety. You’ll eventually have to come down.
- If the undead is slow, you can outrun them in a field. Inside a building, you are dead.
- A chain-linked fence provides a great deterrent against the undead.
- A woman with a samurai sword rocks.
- A woman with a shotgun rocks even harder.
- A zombie bite does not make you a vampire.
- Zombies never have to use a restroom.
- They aren’t very smart even though they know how to open a door.
- Much like wolves, the undead hunt in packs.
- They have an acute sense of hearing.
- Zombies don’t eat hamburger. Seriously, they don’t!
That’s all there is to it. These are the reasons I love zombies. Now it’s your turn.
[Thank you Igor Baranov for granting JackFlacco.com the use of your 2014 Toronto Zombie Walk photography for this article.]
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
Why do you love zombies?
13 thoughts on “Why I Love Zombies”
Reblogged this on Cambiando el mundo and commented:
I love zombies too.
Thanks for the reblog!
A woman with a samurai sword is much better than one with a shotgun, however a woman with a sniper rifle is great 🙂 Also, possibly zombies can be trained to do mundane tasks.
Zombies can definitely fall under the beloved taskmasters of training to perform all things great!
hello jack flacco its dennis the vizsla dog hay theez ar all verry gud reezons to like zombeez!!! and they eeven hav their own theem song by the faymus minstrels the pretty reckless https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCQ3IIFSn1s apparently!!! ok bye
I thought I had recognized Taylor Momsen in this. I was right!
I am consistently entertained by your posts, thanks for the work you put into your blog.
Ha! Thank you so much! 🙂
That last one hit me between the eyes. They don’t eat hamburger. That is profound. my add to the list. locked in a storm cellar they will pound on the locked door till their hands fall off. (or till some really dumb farmer opens the door to see what is making all the racket)
Thanks, John! That came to me while I was travelling and had to write it down. Luckily I had my phone with me!
Zombies can’t climb ladders! 😀
Vegetarian zombies : GRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSS !!! ( I saw that somewhere else )
I also saw that in a comic strip once. I think I also have it on my Facebook page somewhere. Great play on words!