Remember the movie Jurassic Zombieland? How about Star Wars: Attack of the Zombies? Tell me you remember Zombies of the Lost Ark. Well, I don’t remember them either. They don’t exist. However, for a short time in August, I wrote about these fictitious films in my post Classic Films Zombie Style. I wrote about them as a fun way to enjoy Monday Mayhem.
How does it work? Well, I pick a film everyone ought to recognize, then I add a few zombies, amp up the violence, throw in a generous splattering of gore and voilà, you have yourself a zombie classic. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
Let’s see what Part Two of this series holds for us adventurous hunters of the undead.
Zombienator XVII—Sent from the future, a zombie hunts a boy named John Kenner in an effort to ensure the zombie apocalypse occurs as planned. The eater, an undead beast fitted with an indestructible endoskeleton coated in mimetic polyalloy, hungers vast quantities of human meat. In its mission to find the young man, zombienator leaves behind a vast swath of death and chewed bodies in the wake of its attacks, from one side of Los Angeles all the way to when they first meet. Unknown to the evil maggot bag, another zombienator makes an appearance. This one, as John’s protector. A cat and mouse game ensues until the zombienators clash in a final battle that will determine the fate of humankind. Regardless of who wins, will there be a zombie apocalypse?
Planet of the Zombies—When a U.S. spacecraft breaches the atmosphere and crash lands on what first appears as a uninhabited planet, the astronauts on board have all they can do to escape the destructive inferno. On their trek to find life, they encounter a band of primitive humans grazing in the corn. Without warning, a hunting horn sounds and the humans scatter. The hunters ride on their stallions shooting and tripping snares, capturing the humans as they storm through the cornfields. Within a matter of minutes, the former astronauts discover the riders’ identity is none other than zombie. On this planet, the undead have evolved to become the top species on the food chain, and their plans involve nothing more than to serve human as their main course. Can someone please pass the salt.
Close Encounters of the Undead Kind—Ships from another planet visit Earth with the seedlings of a zombie apocalypse. Their mission to conquer humanity from the inside out propels ordinary citizens into extraordinary actions of courage. Who knew tearing apart a garden would lead to the central headquarters of the alien invasion. Zombies functioning as the aliens’ protectors take to the streets killing all humans who dare stand in their way of total world domination. Only one species will survive, but the aliens may have underestimated the zombies’ ability to yield to their commands. No one knows who will win.
What classic movies would you like to see done with a zombie makeover?
Looking to God 
Some interesting thoughts on zombie remakes. One I thought of as the remake is soon to be released is Zombie Robocop. The original Robocop was one of my favorite movies. Murphy was sort of a zombie in the original movie until he regained his memories and humanity. A Western zombie sounds like a promising premise. I grew up on old Western movies (long live the Spaghetti Western!) and have a fondness for Cowboy Poetry (if done well). I liked Cowboys vs. Aliens despite the fact that I was sure I was going to hate it. Cowboys vs. Zombies sounds like a pretty good idea to me. A lever action pistol caliber carbine, as featured in some of my Ruth stories, is an excellent zombie killer.
I would so see these if they were real movies! 😀 This was so much fun to read.
zombinator is a great one. Theres a few I thought of but I guess zombie (taxi) driver, The Amazing Zombieman and zombie club are amongest the few I thought of.
The possibilities are endless, but what if a crack secret agent was a zombie? From Russia With A Zombie, Zombies Are Forever, The Zombie With the Golden Gun, The Zombie Who Loved Me (urgh!), Licence to Kill Zombies. How do you stop a zombie spy, interrogate one, seduce one (uurghh!)
Chris
These are great for inspiration for more zombie poems. Someone should look them seriously. I’d watch them.
Try your hand at one of them, I’ll read it for sure!
I’d like to see “Blazing Saddles” made with zombies. And maybe “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.”
And “Sleepless in Seattle.”
A zombie western? Hmm, that sound like a cool idea. Ha! The Good, The Bad, and The Zombie!
Or The Good, The Bad, and the Dead/Living Dead/Undead. Great article!
It’s Christmas so I’m thinking Home Alone with Zombies, National Lampoon’s Undead Christmas Vacation, Frosty the Zombie, and maybe How the Zombies Stole Christmas.
Home Alone with Zombies for the win !!! I love it!! (Caught the end of Home Alone 2 on tv on the weekend and thought of you!)
Eee! I watched Home Alone 2 this weekend. 🙂 It’s my fave of the two.
Make that 3. Love both 1 & 2!
I remember being told that they tried zombies in a Star Wars book. Think it was called Red Harvest and my zombie-loving friend refuses to talk about it. Some good zombie remakes:
Gone with the Zombies
Undead Potter and the Sorcerer’s Brains
Undie Hard
Dances with Zombies
You’re right, Charles! Here’s the Star Wars Wikia blurb:
Red Harvest is a novel written by Joe Schreiber, and a prequel to his earlier work, Death Troopers. Originally titled Black Orchid, the book was released on December 28, 2010. A hardcover horror novel,[7] it reveals the origin of the virus from the original book.[8] On April 23, Sue Rostoni posted on the official site forums that the novel was re-titled due to internal concerns that the title Black Orchid sounded too much like a romance novel.[9] The book was released in paperback on February 28, 2012. Narration for the audio version was performed by John Glover.
BTW, great titles to some future zombie movies. Love Undie Hard!
I need to see if my friend still holds a grudge against that book. Also, I just realized how odd Undie Hard is if one forgets it deals with zombies.