How does one go from writing about zombies to writing about God? Specifically, how did it happen to me? Believe me when I say, I did not go out of my way looking for it. I was curious, but not to the point where my life would make a drastic about face. Only a miracle could have done that. And earlier this year, I was not into miracles.
Yet, when you see your life slowly spiraling out of control, when once things made sense but now it is nothing more than a jumble of disconnected events, when your legs break from under you to reveal a foundation constructed out of rot, that is when miracles happen.
For me it happened when I began reading the bible from cover to cover, a lofty goal I had wanted to achieve since my early teens. Never had the notion entered my mind that I would not accomplish such a feat until later in life, but I held firm to the hope that I would find the opportunity. Eventually, with the success of my book series underway, my relationships with other people went in another direction. I could have been a better person, but I was not. For a while there, not only was I in a bad place with those around me, but I was also in a bad place with God.
What can I say other than I was thinking only about myself. I recognize that now. Back then, I did not.
Nevertheless, things began to happen to me late last year when I was in the middle of reading the gospels. Matthew 5-7 hit me hard. The simplicity of verses like, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you” (Matt. 7:1-2) prompted me to consider a time when I will not be alive, but will be standing before the throne of God to account for everything I had done while living on this puny planet called Earth (Matt. 12:36-37).
My life took a sudden and abrupt shift when I went from focusing on me to focusing on other people and God. It was not until April that I finally fell to my knees with the realization that I was a sinner in desperate need of God’s forgiveness. I knew then that no matter what I did, I could never earn salvation, but through his grace, God is willing to give it freely to everyone who repents (Eph. 1:7-10).
King David echoes my experience in Psalms:
“For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps. 51:16-17).
Will I ever go back to writing about zombies? Maybe, since I always thought of them as sin incarnate seeking humans to corrupt. But that may not be for a while. For now, I am happy to write about God and his awesome plan for those who are searching for real peace.