Posted in Monday Mayhem

Cottage Zombies

Given it’s a holiday where I live, and most townsfolk around these parts have gone away for the weekend, I thought for today’s Monday Mayhem feature I’d talk about zombies in cottage country. As weird as the subject sounds, I would find it interesting should the zombie apocalypse occur on a long weekend in an isolated area. Let me explain what I mean.

Boat on the lake
Boat on the lake

What if you’re sitting in a boat in the middle of a lake fishing to your heart’s content while you hear awful noises coming from the woods? Would you row the boat to investigate or would you simply sit there hoping no one or anything notices you? The idea that the zombie apocalypse could occur in a rural area is remote—no pun intended. In a city, if there is an infection of undead proportions, not everyone would have a chance to make it out alive. The infection would spread from person to person, and those caught by the the roaming hordes will become part of the crowd.

However, in rural areas, there is a slim possibility that whatever happens in the city will also happen on the farms. The likelihood of that happening is slim, since people would be further away from each other in order for anyone to infect others.

What about cottage country? Wouldn’t the zombies have the time of their lives hunting humans, since the environment would be quieter than the city and anyone making any noise would alert the chewers to their location? What if it were a long weekend?

Running through the woods
Running through the woods

To me, if such a scenario does take place, I can only relate the incident to one thing—those caught on the beach on Amity Island in the film Jaws. In the film, the small island becomes a feeding ground to a great white shark. The town is small and it relies on summer dollars from tourists to keep the economy afloat. Similarly, many of cottage towns in our vicinity thrive on summer dollars to stay in business, therefore, there is a heavy push for towns to bring in city-folk into the region.

Again, I ask, would it be possible a zombie apocalypse could occur in cottage country?

My answer is a resounding yes. An ordinary cottage town of a thousand people mushrooms in the summer to ten to fifteen thousand. If one should have the zombie infection, the whole region could come under scrutiny. Furthermore, since many of these cottage towns border on a lake, most if not all the people will be on the beach enjoying the sun while the rampage occurs.

Ah, yes. But someone may ask, how could it affect other towns?

Remember that guy in the boat? Do you think he has a chance of getting out if he knows the whole town has turned zombie? Would he row to another area of the lake as a means to escape? He could. It is possible. Unfortunately, it isn’t probable. He has one of two decisions to act upon. Either a) he stays in the boat hoping he has enough provisions to outlast the apocalypse, which I doubt, or b) he could land his dingy ashore, take a chance and run through the woods for an escape.

Either way, he won’t make it.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, folks!


Do you think a zombie apocalypse could take place in the rural backwoods of cottage country? What do you think would be the best way to prevent such an event from occurring?


Jack Flacco is an author and the founder of Looking to God Ministries, an organization dedicated to spreading the Word of God through outreach programs, literature and preaching.

9 thoughts on “Cottage Zombies

  1. For some reason, my mind worked the headline of this story as “zombies as a cottage industry.” I don’t know . . . canned zombie meat, anyone? But anyway, I like what herdthinner said; wilderness holds some holiness, so to speak, for me. To pollute it with zombies–bah! 🙂
    I don’t know what the ‘vector’ of zombie creation would be. I guess, for me, it really depends on that. Asteroid impact with foreign microbes, some earth-born virus, a medical experiment gone awry, normal people experimenting with drugs? It could go either way as to the epicenter of the zombie genesis, really, but a fascinating question nonetheless, Jack.

    1. I always think to what happened in Florida a few years ago and how it could also happen anywhere, especially in cottage country. Freaky things happen all the time. I mean even my AP News app has an Oddities section with very weird happenings in the world. Okay, I think I’ve overused the word “happening” enough! 🙂

  2. My reason for visiting quiet places is to avoid pondering apocalypses of ANY kind, never mind zombie ones. :-\

    That said, regardless of where an outbreak would occur, I wouldn’t be one of the survivors. Not by a long shot.

      1. I remember this automobile ad showing people attacked by low – flying drones, & thinking ” Holy cow ! Those drones would be PERFECT for taking out zombies ! A little razor wire, maybe some retractable blades….. “. The dead – heads would never know what hit them ! Maybe I should draw up some plans ( Though I’m NO engineer ) & submit it for a patent, in case of a zombie apocalypse. 🙂

  3. ” Cottage Zombies ” evokes images of an older zombie couple who’d retreated from the urban hustle & bustle, & are trying to live out their retirement / decay without gnosching on their neighbours. 🙂 Surreal, yes ? 🙂

  4. During long road trips I play several “What If” scenarios in my head. For me it’s mostly a “Battle For LA” Alien invasion level event.
    I would assume any car would be an instant target. Then I usually regret my choice of clothes and especially footwear. 🙂

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