zombie apocalypse – Page 4

Zombie Problems

Posted on June 1, 2015May 31, 2015 by Jack Flacco

I wouldn’t want to be a zombie. Although some may not agree, a zombie life seems much too complicated a life to live. What’s complicated about it? Okay, I’ll agree that roaming about seeking of whom they may devour sounds simple. It’s not. There are elements that zombies have to take into consideration when doing the roaming about.

For Monday Mayhem, let’s have a look at what those elements are.

Predators—As strange as it may seem, zombies have a natural predator. The hunted is the hunter. Humans do not take kindly when the undead mess around with their turf. Even if zombies can tear human’s apart, humans can pose a great risk to zombies. Humans can band together to destroy zombies permanently.
Water—As much as zombies could rule the earth, toss them into water, they’re useless. They might float but more than likely they will sink to the bottom. If anything, they will walk the depths until they find a place to climb out of their watery grave.
Walls—Zombies don’t do well with walls. Unless they’re like ants, as depicted in World War Z, they can’t climb. They might do well with ladders, but they’d have to figure out how a ladder works.
Guns—Nothing scares a zombie more than a shotgun pointed at its face. That is to say, if a zombie had any fear whatsoever. Most of the time, it’s charging and not worried about the huge hole it will have in its head if a human were to pull the trigger. Guns and zombies do not make for a good combination to the undead.
Knives—Equally as devastating as a gun is the knife. One good thrust in the undead’s temple and it’s lights out Mr. Chewer. The positive side in the knife battle issue for zombies is that humans have to get close to inflict damage. By then however, one bite is all they need to make it a fair game for everyone.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles—Zombies would have a hard time defending themselves against a semi-truck headed in their direction. The impact alone would kill them, let alone the mess it would make all over the highway. Any transportation device really would count as a weapon against the undead.
Tight Alleys—You either get or don’t get this. With a horde of zombies trampling their way through a city, a group would surely get stuck in an alley somewhere because of them piling in there all at the same time. Shoulder to shoulder, crunched in a small space, can anyone deny their stupidity for having done such a silly thing?
Fire—If life teaches humans anything, it’s that fire is a great equalizer. Nations use it to subdue other nations, why not human use it to subdue zombies?
Winter—Canadian winters are brutal animals. They drag from the Arctic, cover the cities and freeze everything in their wake. A zombie would do well moving to Florida when a Canadian winter hits.
A Samurai Sword—Given the Samurai sword has made debuts in feature films and TV shows as a weapon of choice for zombie slayers, no doubt the undead would feel the threat of its cold steel gleaming in the sunlight. The undead would do well running as fast and as far away as they can.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

What other problems do zombies have to face when chasing their dinner through an alley or a library?

Monday Mayhem

The Roamer

Posted on May 18, 2015May 17, 2015 by Jack Flacco

What would you do if one night you awoke to the sound of a zombie ambling through your house? Would you attempt to find and kill it? Or would you run as fast as you could to evade its ferocious appetite?

Occasionally I ask these hypothetical questions for my Monday Mayhem series as a way to explore what my readers are thinking. I don’t ask these questions all the time, but this week I thought it would be fun thinking through the scenario with the understanding that whatever anyone says, it does not leave this site. We might actually get something done today.

Right. Moving along.

The scenario also works if you hear a zombie at three in the morning moaning in the middle of the hall of the apartment building. The scenario doesn’t need to take place in a house. And, if you’re living in the woods somewhere, well, then you’re free to do whatever you want.

Again, I’ll ask the question. What would you do if a zombie awakens you from your slumber in the safety of your domicile? Would you run? Or would you fight back?

This is what I would do—it’s all hypothetical anyway. I would first find out about the moaning. If it were during a time when the zombie apocalypse has just taken over the world, then I’ll know it’s the undead coming to claim a victim. However, if the zombie apocalypse has yet to spring into action, then I’ll have a number of things to consider.

Things for me to consider will be to understand if the thing in the house was real. It could be that the water tank was making noises again. But if it wasn’t the water tank, then I’m the type of guy who would have to see with my own eyes what was causing the chaos.

Once I’ve determined I can see it, I have to know if I can kill it. Then again, it could be human, and he/she was simply breaking in. Although if the thing was moaning I doubt it would be human. The point being, I want to know if it truly is one of those rot chewers whose life has disappeared in a mangled array of decomposing sinew and tissue. End of my rambling.

If it is one of the undead, then I can’t let it go roaming about the house without doing something about it. As someone familiar with zombies, I have to get it out of my home much like chasing a bat out of the bedroom with a broom. In the outdoors, I can then deliver some heavy Old Testament retribution.

Luckily I sleep with a baseball bat next to the bed. Oh, wait—that was in the other house I was living in. Well, from now on I will be sleeping with a baseball bat next to the bed.

This is my plan: I’ll retrieve my Louisville Slugger, run past it down the stairs and outside to the backyard. If it takes the bait, it’ll come after me. But I’ll be ready for it. All I need are a few quick swipes and it’ll be eating lumber in no time.

Okay, so that’s what I would do. What would you do?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

Do you think you can defeat a zombie in real life?

Freedom Friday

Future Projects—Maybe

Posted on May 8, 2015May 8, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Now that I’ve announced the release date to the final installment of my Ranger Martin trilogy, a heavy weight has lifted from my shoulders. If someone were to have said to me a few years ago that I’d have a trilogy out by Fall 2015, I would have thought he or she had lost their mind. Yet here it is, 2015, and in several months, the dream will have become a reality.

With the series fully complete, a number of other projects have fallen on my lap. I could easily tell you what they are, but then where would the fun be when I announce them? Rather, I’ll give you a hint about some of the things I’m working on, then you can tell me if you like the idea or not.

Part of my method to my insanity is diving into heavy research of a subject until I can make that research part of the story without it sounding made up. You can read some of the crazy topics I’ve written about here:

Why Don’t Zombies Eat Each Other?
Real Zombie Stories
Top 10 Most Horrifying Parasites
Zombies and Mental Illness
Zombie Animals
What Makes Horror Movies Scary?
Why do Zombies Eat Brains?
Zombie Apocalypse: Causes
A Zombie Primer
Death’s Cure

The other side of the research is byproduct subjects I never intended to write about, but nonetheless seemed fascinating to explore at the time. Things such as these:

The Human Brain
How to Sleep Well
Heads Down
Social Media Vacation
Being of Value
A Law of Success
A Day Off
Bully
Insomnia
Stream of Consciousness

Given this happens often, one of the settings to the first book in the Ranger Martin series takes place in a prison called Katlyn County Jail in Arizona. The inspiration for this setting was Perryville Prison located west of Phoenix in Goodyear. Little did I know that last month it had become the center of talk in the media for a famous criminal case that had ended. I won’t go into the details of the case, but I’m sure those familiar with it know what I’m talking about.

My natural inclination to write a book about prison life actually sparked an interest in me. That’s as far as I will go hinting on that idea. Okay, maybe I’ll go a bit deeper here. Prison can be the worst place on earth or a learning ground. Also, there are different kinds of prisons. There is the concrete kind where the prisoners are behind bars paying their dues, then there is the prison we create in our minds that we can’t escape without either helping ourselves or others helping us.

Another idea I’ve been looking at has to do with time. I like the idea of time travel, but in a non-linear fashion where the time continuum becomes corrupted. Einstein proved time is relative. Wouldn’t it be interesting meeting yourself and finding you’ve lived an entirely different life?

Well, that’s about it for now. I had other things I wanted to mention, but I think that’s enough to give you folks an idea of where I’m heading. These ideas may or may not happen, depends if I can find a story in them, but know I’m always open to writing about anything.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

Do you like prison tales? What about time travel stories, do you like those?

Monday Mayhem

Favorite Zombie

Posted on May 4, 2015May 3, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Jack Flacco is proud to announce RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, the final book in the Ranger Martin trilogy, will publish on October 20.

When it comes to zombies, I have favorites. Who can forget the zombie from The Walking Dead the survivors find at the bottom of a well? What about the zombie from apartment 406 in the movie Zombieland? And of course, then there’s R from the film Warm Bodies. I think he’s the most endearing—even though he cracked a victim’s skull with his bare hands in order to get to the victim’s brain.

Jesse Eisenberg and Amber Heard in Zombieland

Let’s talk about favorite zombies for today’s Monday Mayhem. What makes them special? Why are they the way they are?

I mentioned the zombie from The Walking Dead caught in the well. The creature is not only one of my favorites, but the scene itself is hilarious—that is, if you like dark humor. The scene begins with the survivors finding a well. The resource would not only provide usable drinking water, but also allow them a measure of hygiene. The problem? There’s a walker in the well. They figure that if they can haul it out, they have a chance of salvaging what’s left. The plan calls for sending one of the survivors to tie a rope around the walker as a means of hauling it from the hole. Right up until they noose the walker, the plan seems to be working fine. As they heave the walker out of there, they don’t realize how heavy it is. And just as they had pulled half of its body out of the well, what do you think happens?

Well (pun not intended) the walker that had been in the well for such a long time, had absorbed a fair amount of water. The sheer weight of its body and the force the survivors exerted on that body caused it to tear in half. The walker’s lower half, including its entrails, collapsed back into the well. Not only was the scene kind of gross, but if you like that sort of humor, it was funny. Suffice it to say the survivors couldn’t save the well.

Another one of my favorites is the zombie from apartment 406 from the movie Zombieland. She doesn’t start as a zombie, but after a few hours hanging out with our hero Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) in his apartment, she’s ready to tear out his jugular. What I like about this zombie the most is the audience first sees her before she changes. She’s warm, considerate, and true to “the girl next door” moniker, she’s the girl any guy would love to date. Somehow, though, a homeless person bites her and she runs into Columbus’ apartment for safety. He has no problems with that. She’s attractive, what guy could resist not having an attractive girl asking for help?

Several hours later, the effect of that bite takes hold. Columbus runs for his life. What happens next is anybody’s guess.

What I enjoy about the whole scene is watching this beautiful girl turn into one of the zombies that then threatens to take Columbus’ life. A lot goes on in this scene, and it’s worth watching a few times to gain the subtle nuances the filmmaker intended.

Lastly, my other favorite zombie is R from the movie Warm Bodies. He’s the zombie that gains intelligence as the movie progresses to its inevitable conclusion. The theme is simple. A zombie falls in love with a human and wants to change the world with love. As ideal as it sounds, the story works for many reasons. The best reason I can think of is the love he has for the girl. Throughout the film he allows Julia into his world, and he’s the one who ends up changing for the better. R not only redeems himself by granting Julia her freedom, but also grows as a character, which then leads to greater things for him.

Barring from spoiling the entire film, R is one of my favorites because of his potential for growth, regardless if he is undead.

Your turn. What is your favorite zombie?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

Do you have a favorite zombie? How about a favorite zombie movie?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs VII

Posted on April 20, 2015April 21, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Today’s Monday Mayhem is all about fun! That’s right. It’s that time again, folks. It’s time to put your thinking caps on and help me escape the zombies. Are you ready to indulge in some serious undead running? It ain’t gonna be pretty. Not today.

How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide. And if you missed them, here are the first six parts: I, II, III, IV, V, VI.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: You’re in the middle of a corn field. You see the stocks behind you wafting back and forth and you know that’s not a good sign. Thirty feet ahead, past the logs and trees, is a lake. If you don’t get a move on, you’ll end up as zombie meat. The only way out will be to head for the lake. When you get there, you realize something is swimming in the water. Schools of fish. You think nothing of it until you place one foot in the water. Piranha. Your choice? You either fight your way through a zombie horde or swim to the other side of the lake, hoping the piranha don’t get you first. What do you do?

My Answer: I don’t know about you, but I’d rather fight through a crowd of the undead. Piranha are much too dangerous for my taste.

Scenario #2: Twenty-three. You’ve counted them twice. Twenty-three. That’s how many of the undead have you surrounded on the roof of your neighbor’s garage. After seeing them on the right, on the left and in the driveway, your only chance would be to make a run across the backyard to the fence on the other side. There’s a catch, though. The jump alone will kill you. If you decide to hang by the roof and drop graciously, you may survive the fall, but by the time you get down there, you may also have zombies on your tail. Will you take a chance and make a run for it? Or will you die a miserable death while thinking of last year’s chocolate cake?

My Answer: I’m not going to starve to death. Every roof has debris in their eavestroughs. I’ll distract them, tossing the debris in the front, then I’ll make a break for it in the back.

Scenario #3: You venture into a general store that contains plenty of goods left to raid. You fill your backpack. When you’ve loaded it to the point you can’t carry anymore, you hear a ring in the front of the store and a shuffle on the floor. You drop the backpack and duck behind the deli counter. Five zombies head your way. You don’t know if you’ve attracted them when you dropped your backpack, but what you do know is you have to get out of there. With only one way out, through the front, your chances of surviving are small. Do you risk your life, make a run for the front door, perhaps leaving your backpack behind? Or will you sit tight, hoping they’d all go away?

My Answer: For this one, I thought of sitting tight. But then I thought every deli has a set of steak knives. I can do a lot of damage with a set of steak knives.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

What would you do?

Monday Mayhem

Benefits to Becoming a Zombie

Posted on April 13, 2015April 14, 2015 by Jack Flacco

The other day my friends and I couldn’t agree if becoming a zombie was a good thing. Aside from the annoying groan and smells emanating from the undead corpse, some of them seemed to think turning into a zombie was a positive experience. I begged to differ.

Crowd photo of the Guinness World Record™ breaking New Jersey Zombie Walk held on October 30th, 2010. 4,093+ zombies attended the event. [Photo credit: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.]

On a dare, I promised my friends that for my Monday Mayhem series post I’d refute their claims and prove beyond a doubt that the life of a zombie was not something one would aspire to, if one were to put things into perspective.

Being a Zombie Saves Time—The biggest advantage my friends put forth as a reason to becoming a zombie is that zombies do not have to worry about personal hygiene. They argued that the byproduct to such an action is saving time. Well, I thought, so is not sleeping. But you don’t see me not taking showers and staying up all night. That is, if you don’t live in a frat house. No, I countered their argument stating the obvious. Okay, you’ll save time by not bathing and not sleeping. Then what? How will you use that extra time? You can’t go out on date because, frankly, you’ll smell. And you can’t learn a new hobby because the teacher will run away at the first sight of you. Jack 1, Friends 0.

Being a Zombie Means Never Having to Go Hungry—I’m not sure how we ended up talking about this, but eventually the conversation of food came to play. My friends agreed that zombies would never have to go hungry again. With a lot of humans running around, they’d have their choice of meat any way they want. Sorry, but I’m going to raise one slight detail they forgot to factor into their genius argument. Everything would be all sunshine and rainbows if humans didn’t have the weapons to splatter your brains all over the back wall where you were standing. As zombies, you can run after humans. The question remains, will you live long enough to claim your prize? Don’t think humans will lay down without a fight. Jack 2, Friends 0.

Being a Zombie Means Having Eternal Life—I literally laughed out loud when one of my friends suggested they’d have eternal life. The first thought to hit me was, living forever? How? As an undead creature, you’d rot to a slow death. What kind of life is that? Would being a zombie mean having the ability to cheat death? I don’t think so. Look at what happened to the zombies in the movie Warm Bodies. They had sniveled to stick figures with no hope of living a productive life. Then there’re the walkers in The Walking Dead. They’re about to fall apart soon. No thanks. I’d rather remain human with the full knowledge that when I die I won’t have to worry about the dastardly deeds I’d committed as a zombie. I know, weak argument, but still. Jack 3, Friends 0.

Being a Zombie Means I Can Dance—My friends used the Michael Jackson Thriller video to make their point. Zombies can dance, they said. And you know what? I happen to agree with them. Great video. Jack 3, Friends 1.

There you have it. Other than knowing how to dance, the benefits to becoming a zombie are not that great. I’d choose human over zombie any day of the week.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

What arguments did I miss? Is being a zombie all that great?

Monday Mayhem

Who Would Win?

Posted on April 6, 2015April 8, 2015 by Jack Flacco

I’ve written a huge amount of material dedicated to zombies. Yeah, no kiddin’. I’ve also written several articles featuring vampires. Each monster has its advantages and disadvantages of being who they are. But picking a fight, who would win? I thought for today’s Monday Mayhem I’d write about zombies vs. vampires and have some fun speculating who would come out victorious in a full-tilt battle between these two creatures of Horror.

Lauren Cohan as Maggie Greene in The Walking Dead

What do we know?

Depending on who you talk to, zombies can either drag their limbs to their victim or dash in a fit of rage. Either way, you’re dead. No matter if you have a slow or fast zombie on your tail, you’ll soon have to stop for a breath. Or you can climb a tree and stay there until you fall to your ultimate demise. Zombies also come in packs. Therefore, even if you encounter slow zombies lurching about, more than likely you’ll have a horde after you. The awful thought about the whole genre is that they act as one unit. When one of them hears a noise the rest follow. They have have no sense of stopping once they’ve placed a marker on a victim.

Vampires function on another level. They’re cunning, choosing to lure and trap their victims with their wily use of stealth. If they mark a victim, they’ll follow until they’re sure no one could interfere with their nefarious plan. Once alone with their victim, they’ll hypnotize and lull them to do their bidding. Eventually, the victim will surrender their neck to the demon of darkness in a life-draining session.

Knowing what we know about zombies and vampires, who do you think would win a war between them?

I’ll play both sides of the battle for now.

Zombies are a powerful foe when fighting as part of a crowd. As individual creatures, not so much. A quick knife to the head; they’re gone. They’re not very smart either. When attacking their victims, they huddle around them in a frenzy in an attempt to get as much as they can from the meal, even kneeling with their backs turned while pillaging their spoil. Any opposing foe can quickly put these monsters out of their misery. But if the undead are united and see their goal, they’re unstoppable. Other than bullets and vehicles, zombies can rip through an army fairly quickly without much trouble.

Vampire strength, on the other hand, relies on the individual. The smarter a vampire, the more likelihood it would win against single zombies. The problem I see though, is vampires win by the spilling of their victim’s blood, an element zombies don’t need to stay alive. But that’s getting ahead of ourselves. Vampires are also very good with steering humans to do their will, something a braindead zombie would have a hard time doing, considering they don’t even know they’re dead.

So there you have it, a few points to keep in mind in this speculative argument. Verdict?

Don’t be mad at me, but I think zombies would win an all-out war against vampires. Two reasons: First, sheer numbers. If the whole of the human race turns zombie then vampires would have a tough time recruiting new candidates into their armies. Zombie viruses spread quicker than vampire replication. Second, zombies tear apart their victims. If vampires fall prey to zombies, there wouldn’t be anything left of them. Zombies can still survive without a body. World War Z attests to that. And if I were to add a third reason, I also would say if a war broke out during the day, vampires would burn up in the sun while the zombies sit and stare at their charred remains.

Of course, the age-old question is this: If a vampire bites a zombie will the zombie become a vampire? Or if the zombie bites the vampire will the vampire become a zombie?

These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

Who do you think would win in a battle of zombie vs. vampire?

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