Posted in Monday Mayhem

Do Zombies Poop?

When I write about something, I try to find an angle to the story. Although I may have an idea, and it may be a good idea, I won’t write about it until I discover the hook. When it comes to zombies, as much as I enjoy the genre, the hook may not be so obvious. The reason for this stems from the fact that the genre has a number of mysteries I have yet to answer. I’m sure someone out there has the answer, but I don’t.

Do Zombies Poop?
Do Zombies Poop?

Today’s Monday Mayhem feature will concentrate on describing what three of those mysteries are.

Do Zombies Die?—I’ll have to admit I haven’t watched or read all the zombie stories out there. Yes, I also feel it is a travesty. Other than Warm Bodies, where, after some time, the zombies become Boneys, and in The Walking Dead, where the zombies show signs of aging, no stories of which I am familiar address this age-old question. What happens to the undead? Do they simply shrivel into a fetal position and drool their life away? Or do they rot until there’s nothing left? I don’t have an answer.

Do Zombies Sleep?—One of the lingering questions that has gnawed at my bones, no pun intended, is do zombies take time to have a regular siesta? In the last act of the film World War Z, the zombies stand in one position not really doing much of anything other than staring into the distance. They jerk around, but still, they are awake. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a zombie sleep in either a film or any other story. Why not? Don’t they tire chasing after people? The way I look at it is they don’t need sleep. Sleep regenerates cells, repairs internal damage from ordinary use and refreshes the brain in order for the mind to stay sharp and focused. I think zombies have passed the point of staying sharp. I could be wrong, though. What do you think?

Do Zombies Poop?—This, to me, is the biggest mystery of them all. With the amount of meat zombies consume, one would assume they digest and eliminate much like their human counterparts. But that would fly in the face of logic. If the undead are indeed undead, their digestive tracts would not function, their bowel muscles would certainly not work as well. So what’s the answer? Are we the audience to believe zombies can eat a whole man and not push him out the other end? What happens to the material the undead ingests? My theory? I think it piles in their stomach and comes out without digestion. My rule of thumb? Gravity rules.

That’s all I have for now. If I haven’t written about a mystery you feel needs addressing, go ahead and add it. I’m sure I will write a Part II to this discussion one day.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

What great zombie mystery do you find unsettling? Have you yet found a reasonable explanation?

Posted in Wednesday Warriors

Memento’s Leonard

I wake up in the mornings not knowing who I am. I keep photos in my pocket as reminders of who people are. I even have gone as far as tattoo important clues to my identity all over my body. Like I said, when I wake up tomorrow morning, I won’t remember any of it. I will however have the photos and tattoos.

Guy Pearce as Leonard in Memento
Guy Pearce as Leonard in Memento

If you think that’s hard, try to remember your timeline moving backwards. Instead of learning as you go, you’re learning in reverse as you fall more and more into the sore spots of your memory. That’s what I have to deal with every day. It’s not easy. My life could have greater meaning, but how far can I get if I don’t remember from one day to the next who I am or who did me wrong?

Which brings me to my dilemma. Not only do I have to keep track of those who I’ve contacted, but I also have to maintain a system to keep me grounded. It’s a tough system but it works. I leave clues for myself all over my hotel room so when I wake up I can jumpstart the learning process again. The system covers everything. The dilemma is me not knowing who to trust. I have to write it down. Even the hotel manager of the room I’m staying has tried a few times to scam me. I caught him. From what I can tell, he’s a good guy though. He once asked if I could blame him for trying. I don’t blame him.

Memento Poster
Memento Poster

My only friend Teddy calls me Lenny, but that’s not my real name. Everyone thinks that if someone knows his or her own name it makes life easier. Not for me. I know my real name. It’s not Lenny. I’m still stumbling trying to figure me out.

I’ve learned something about myself recently. I’ve learned I don’t like people who say things because of what others expect. I’m fine with that. I have tattoos to prove what people do is the opposite of what they say. What I find disturbing is finding someone who is sincere but not remembering the person the next day. Do you know how hard it is to find someone honest only to forget about them after falling asleep?

I can go on by telling you about my tattoos, but the tats don’t make me who I am. I’m looking for someone. If I could define who I am, then I could say I’m the guy looking for someone. It’s the one thing that motivates me to live another day with this condition I have. It’s the only thing that compels me to move forward beyond the tall, thick walls within my mind.

I’m Leonard (Guy Pearce) from the movie Memento, today’s Wednesday Warriors‘ highlight.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.

Have you seen Memento? What did you think of the mystery created by Christopher Nolan?