life – Page 61 – Looking to God

The Habit

Posted on July 25, 2014July 20, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Summer’s the perfect time for relaxation. It doesn’t matter if it’s outside in the park or the backyard. There’s always something to learn when easing into a lawn chair and allowing the mind to drift into a different direction.

I’m writing this Freedom Friday post with the sun in my eyes and the wind in my hair. Once you finish reading it, you’ll know what I mean.

The other day, my wife took me to our backyard and showed me something I hadn’t noticed before. I thought I’d seen everything in my life, but she once again astounded me. A tree, of no certain type, was growing underneath our deck to sprout its leaves through one of the cracks in the floorboards. Like I said, I’d never seen anything like this before and since then it has given me time to pause and reflect.

For a tree to grow under our deck like that, it had to have a seed. Our backyard has a generous helping of vegetation to have produced such a seed. We live in farm country where the woods are mature and the forests are alive. I’ve always been thankful not to live in a neighborhood where everything is flat and brown. The trees abutting our fences soar between sixty to seventy feet into the sky. The tree in the front of our house also towers to a grand sixty-plus feet. Again, I’m thankful I don’t have to look at a scrawny twig when I wake up in the mornings.

Anyway, back to what I was talking about—the seed. That seed had to fly through the air, in between the floorboards and sink below the soil to germinate. Given that under the deck is cool and dark, the seed also needed sunlight, which I might add, could only come from the crack from whence it came. Let’s not forget, it also needed water to nourish it. Again, I’m assuming the crack provided that nourishment.

So, you see, the odds of that seed ever making it as a tree were so against it. Yet, it grew!

Of course, me being the guy who owns the deck, had a problem on my hands. How do I get rid of it? I mean, I appreciated knowing of its resilience, but I just couldn’t have the thing grow and splitting apart my nice deck.

First, I tore apart the lattice under the deck to find the roots. This involved removing nails and producing a whole lotta sweat on a hot summer day. Second, once I found its roots, I had to chip away at it, since it had embedded itself against the foundation post and grew into a knotted mess. Last, when it proved too time consuming to pull at it with ordinary tools, I had to whip out my chainsaw.

You knew this was coming, right? Zombie writer. Tree. Chainsaw. C’mon, you didn’t think I’d pass up an opportunity to use my favorite weapon—I mean tool. To make a long story short, the tree’s gone, left in a yard waste bag by the side of the road.

But there is a moral to this story. I hope you can sit through a minute or so of philosophy.

Just like the seed of a tree, a good habit can grow to become a majestic wonder. It can sprout from within, take root and dominate a person’s life leading to create beautiful music, build a strong home or anything as routine as slipping on a pair of socks. A bad habit can lead to destructive friendships, poor judgment and all sorts of nasty ticks. Whatever the habit is, good or bad, it all starts with a seed.

In the case of the tree under my deck, looking at it from the surface, the tree seemed to be a perfect example of beating all odds to reach the sunlight. Had I left it growing, it would have destroyed the deck. In other words, what sometimes seems too good to be true may be just that. I know I’m speaking in riddles, but this message is for those who have ears. The other part of the equation is the seed grew out of the darkness, which we don’t notice until it’s too late. By that time, it would have already made a mess of things before its branches saw the light of day. Remember, I ultimately had to use a chainsaw to destroy its roots.

To make it even more confusing as to what I’m saying, if the roots set deep enough, habits tend to be hard to break. It’s better replacing a bad habit with a good one than to try to fight it alone.

Okay, enough of the deep talk. Let’s go back out there and enjoy summer!

What do you think? Is this subject too deep for summer?

Freedom Friday

My Tools

Posted on July 18, 2014July 13, 2014 by Jack Flacco

I’ve never been much of a tools guy. While other men may enjoy collecting tools, the only thing my tools collect is dust. Yep, not much of a handyman, if you know what I mean. If I had it my way, I’d sit on my rump and enjoy the summer sun while I hire someone to look after everything that needs fixing around the house. Actually, that’s not too far from the truth.

For this Freedom Friday post, I’ll be talking about my tools—what I do with them, and what I think I ought to do with them.

Let me start by saying, I have a lot of tools. I’m going to qualify that statement. I have a lot of tools I didn’t purchase on my own. What’s more? I have a lot of tools my wife purchased for me. There’s a hint in there somewhere.

It all started a few months before my wife and I got married. One day she noticed I didn’t have that many tools and decided to do something about it. Well, I didn’t have that many tools because I didn’t like working with my hands. Anyway, let’s keep on topic. One Saturday evening, I popped over to her basement apartment for a movie night. At the time, Star Trek: The Next Generation was one of our favorite shows and we agreed that she’d tape the week’s episode and we’d watch it on the weekend when we got together. There was a period when we could only see each other on weekends since she lived on one side of the city and I lived on the other.

Although Toronto wasn’t as big as it is today, travelling back and forth in a beat up Honda made the one-hour trip interesting. I once broke down on the highway and had to call for a tow from a gas station ten minutes away. Let me say this, ten minutes is nothing to walk. But when it’s cold, with no cellphones available at the time, and you’re heading up a rural pass in the middle of the night—I’ll admit—it got kinda creepy.

Anyway, back to the story. When we finally settled into a cuddle, she remembered she had something to give me. We did that all the time and we still do. Sometimes we don’t give each other gifts during those mandatory days of giving—Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, birthdays, etc.—but we’ll surprise each other with gifts throughout the year for no apparent reason other than to show our affection for one another. Besides, gifts mean more that way when we don’t have to give the gift out of obligation. All right, ‘nough said about that. Where was I? Right, her gift. She gave me a gift and it was heavy. I didn’t have a clue as to what it could have been. All I knew was she’d always given me things that I needed or wanted. Much like today.

I unwrapped the present, and there in front of me was a screwdriver tool set with a variety of bits and ratchet heads. Believe me, when I first saw it, I wasn’t sure why she would have given it to me, considering I wasn’t a tool guy. Let me tell you. That gift was a stroke of genius. I still have it in its original case.

Since she gave it to me, I’ve hung pictures, taken apart phones, computers, built shelving, put up curtains, built desks, cupboards, tables, chairs, wired cable and more. Do I sound like one of those $19.99 TV commercials?

Adding to my collection, she’s given me a hammer, pliers, drill bits, a drill, of course, measuring tapes, more screwdrivers, a few bottles of crazy glue and garden equipment.

Like I said, if it were up to me I’d sit on my rump and hire people to do the jobs around the house. But I’ve grown. I’ve changed. I’ve gone on to build two basements with my tools—very different from doing nothing around the house.

And it all started with a toolset my wife gave me.

It’s true. Sometimes starting small does bring big things in life.

What’s your favorite tool? Are you a collector or handy-person?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Jade

Posted on July 16, 2014July 15, 2014 by Jack Flacco

She’s rich, he’s not. They’ve known each other for four years, yet they’ve never met. She wants a party and he’s invited. Her red dress excites him and the way she dances, like something out of her ballet recital, makes him crazy. He’s wanted to kiss her since tenth grade. Women Who Wow Wednesday celebrates Jade Butterfield, the free spirited beauty from the movie Endless Love.

Throughout high school, she lived an invisible life. She didn’t have many friends. Her brother was the only person who cared what happened to her. When David (Alex Pettyfer) comes along, she has all she can do to resist the urge to be with him. How can a girl resist David’s interpretation of love?

They have two weeks together. Summer.

Jade (Gabriella Wilde) doesn’t have to put a mask on with David. She can enjoy shows, theater and dance with him. No one has ever come into her life before to make her feel so free. She’s always had someone control her life, whether it was her father or someone else. Real freedom comes to Jade being in love with David.

The realization sets in of how sheltered Jade was growing up. Her new motto becomes, “Let’s be young and dumb.” She has an awakening that sparks something in her to bring her to life.

Her father, though, believes David is not right for his daughter. He can’t accept the fact that Jade’s in love with him. He will do anything to keep her and David apart, including digging into his past for anything that he can use against his daughter’s boyfriend.

Ultimately, Jade’s father doesn’t believe David’s good enough for his daughter.

From there, things get complicated.

Love is worth fighting for. It is. Jade can’t move on without David, even if she has another guy pining for her affection. No matter what anyone says, she will always be his. No one can control what she feels, how she thinks. No one. How does she feel?

If anything’s certain about Jade, she’s her own person and lives a full life without anyone telling her what to do.

Have you seen the movie Endless Love? What did you like about it?

Freedom Friday

Monotasking

Posted on July 11, 2014July 3, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Monotasking is one of those words you hear and quickly dismiss as nonsense. After all, we live in a world where we don’t have time to dedicate 100% of our time to one thing. Right? Multitasking has always been the way to go. But for today’s Freedom Friday post, I want to talk about monotasking vs. multitasking and the benefits of doing one thing and doing it well.

Let’s get some of the definitions out of the way first.

For a long time I’ve been a proponent of multitasking. Who wouldn’t be? The mere definition entices the idea that someone can become twice as productive as, say, performing one task at a time.

But how effective are we when we tackle more than one task at a time? Let’s put it this way, if you have a 24-hour day, it is physically impossible to squeeze 48 hours from it. Experts disagree. Who hasn’t written an email while on the phone? Who hasn’t prepared a post while chatting in a meeting? Who hasn’t checked the sports scores while supposedly researching for their next assignment?

There’s this movement taking place in social circles called Tabless Thursday. It promotes monotasking by encouraging everyone to ditch the tabs in their browsers and work in one window for the entire day. The movement supports one’s ability to produce quality work at the risk of ignoring efficiency.

I’m all up on these interesting trends and for years, I’ve been an efficient multitasker. For instance, I’ve written posts, watched TV and read all at the same time. Don’t ask me if I remember any of it because I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told my wife when she asks me if I hear her voice while I’m reading an article on the internet. The answer is a resounding no. Oh, I’m sure I was efficient, knocking off tasks from my to-do list as if they were all important, but how good had I produced the work on a scale of 1-10?

Multitasking serves its purpose in an aggressive environment where products have to go out the door quickly. However, monotasking has its purpose, too.

Whenever I have to get something important finished, I now turn off the phone, disconnect the internet, hide my task bar on my laptop, and type furiously at my keyboard until I’m done. It’s amazing how much I can accomplish without interruption.

The other argument for monotasking pertains to the quality of work. This, I can’t judge. I can only go by the reaction of the audience to see if my monotasking ways are effective. All I know is I can get the work done at a faster pace considering I have fewer distractions to keep me from accomplishing my goal.

What are you, a multitasker or a monotasker?

What do you think of monotasking? How would you go about adding monotasking in your workflow?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Jamie Sullivan

Posted on June 18, 2014June 18, 2014 by Jack Flacco

I don’t talk about God much. If anything, I sometimes hint at what I believe, but I don’t make it a personal mission to preach. I leave that job to the preachers. I’ve had folks, though, who have asked me what I believe, and it’s with some reservations I tell them.

In the movie A Walk to Remember, Jamie Sullivan (Mandy Moore), however, doesn’t hold back. She loves God, and she’ll take every opportunity to show it. You see, Jamie comes from a strict Baptist background. Her father (Peter Coyote) is the town’s minister and her mother passed away some time ago. She enjoys lending a hand at the orphanage, working with animals, and taking care of her father. No one’s ever asked her out on a date, but she’s quite fine with that. She’s happy living a quiet life away from what the other teens at her school are doing. Her most prized possessions are the sweater she wears every day and her bible.

When Landon Carter (Shane West) walks into Jamie’s life, she doesn’t think anything of it. After all, he’s part of the popular crowd and to other girls, he’s worth falling over to get his attention. If anything, she’s happy to have a new friend, regardless of his troublemaking ways. Jamie considers him an accomplished goal. Her number forty-two on her to-do list—to befriend somebody she doesn’t like.

Jamie’s to-do list also contains some other notable goals such as spend a year in the Peace Corps, make a medical discovery, be in two places at once and get a tattoo. Her number one goal is marry in the church where her mother grew up and her parents were married.

Aside from Jamie’s lofty ambitions, she’s also not shy with speaking her mind. Thinking Jamie to be a pushover, one of Landon’s friends stands on the receiving end of her quick wit:

Another aspect of Jamie’s character is having the wisdom to see where things are going with her friendship with Landon. She asks him to promise he won’t fall in love with her. A silly request, but she asks it anyway given her circumstances.

The funny thing is how can Landon help not falling in love with Jamie? The truth is more powerful than fiction as is Jamie’s friendship with Landon. They can’t run from feeling what they feel for each other, but more importantly, Jamie sees Landon’s love by everything he does for her. His actions speak more than words.

And this is where I have to stop. I can’t continue without revealing spoilers. Suffice it to say, Jamie is selfless in every way a person can be selfless. She loves Landon more than words can express. And she is more of a woman than anyone could ever imagine hadn’t it been for Landon walking into her life.

I’m proud to feature Jamie Sullivan for this week’s Women Who Wow Wednesday post because she represents freedom—freedom from the typical Hollywood love story, and freedom from the heroine stereotype often posed in stories like this.

What do you think of A Walk to Remember? What do you think of Jamie Sullivan?

Freedom Friday, Photo Opportunities

Love Is…

Posted on May 16, 2014May 8, 2017 by Jack Flacco

Love is helping the elderly carry groceries to their car. Love is holding the door open for those behind you. Love is making hot soup for someone sick in bed with a bad cold. Love is forgoing our needs in order for others not to need.

Allow me the liberty of this Freedom Friday post to share my deepest desire with you. That desire is to see others help those less fortunate through genuine acts of kindness motivated by love expecting nothing in return. To give in love so as others do not lack. Perhaps one day they, too, will love in the very same way, helping those who need it most.

Therefore, love is giving of our time to a cause even if it seems silly at the time. Love is filling the bowl for the homeless at the local soup kitchen. Love is returning money to the shop owner who gave you too much in change. Love is giving up your seat to the pregnant woman on the bus. Love is saying please and thank you to the waiter who treats you poorly at the restaurant.

Love is picking up the neighbor’s mail when they are on vacation. Love is buying groceries for the family down the street whose father lost his job when his company made his position redundant. Love is waking up five every morning to give the folks next door a ride to the train station because they can’t afford a car.

Love is cleaning the home of a friend stricken with illness because they can’t do it for themselves. Love is driving a friend home from an activity knowing how far they live and doing so would be out of your way. Love is helping a friend pick up furniture from a secondhand shop, lug it two flights of stairs to his apartment while hoping the good deed won’t irritate an already bad back.

Love is giving a warm smile to the individual who hates you, just as you would show warmth to your own family. Love is uttering uplifting words to that spiteful person who badmouthed you behind your back. Love is not allowing bitterness to enter your heart in spite of what others do to you.

Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is crying for loved ones who have achieved their dream.

I’m sure you can find other ways to love. The list is endless. It may simply be a matter of listening to that still small voice gently leading the way. Whatever we come up with, nothing compares to the joy we feel when seeing happiness in the eyes of the recipients to our selfless act of kindness.

How else can we help? What more can we do to show our love for others?

Freedom Friday, Other Things

Sweet Moments

Posted on May 9, 2014May 10, 2017 by Jack Flacco

That moment during a hot summer day when the clouds above you churn and you know it’s coming. The smell of burning wood on a cold winter night and all those memories flood your mind of how it used to be when you were a kid. How sitting on the park bench while the wind chills you reminds you of what a hot chocolate will taste like when you get back indoors.

They’re there. We just have to see them. Those beautiful junctures that make life all the more wonderful to live. Allow me to take a sliver of time from Freedom Friday to tell you about my sweet moments.

How the grass smells when I first cut it. How the house looks when it’s clean. How the garden looks when de-weeded. How I feel when I have a good movie I want to watch and have been waiting all week to watch it. How the sound of an ice cream truck brings me back to when I was a boy playing hockey with my friends in the street. How a sunset makes all the sense in the world, even when things at the time don’t make sense.

When the first snowfall hits, and my excitement builds knowing Christmas is right around the corner. When the leaves change, and I have my camera with me to take incredible shots of the colorful foliage. When the birds return after having spent those dark months away, and they sing their wonderful spring melodies at five in the morning.

The way my tongue dances after I bite into the most delicious dinner ever made in the history of culinary excellence. The silence I hear when I’m reading a good book. The joy I feel when a plan works as expected. The smell of an electronics store when I first walk in and all I want is the latest film release, but it tempts me with more. The sight of a dog chasing its tail and not knowing anything more complicated than that.

There’s more. Like those times I walk in on my wife, grab her in my arms, and tell her how lucky I am to have her. When I look into the eyes of my children and find myself staring back. That moment spending time with the extended family and someone tells a joke that everyone laughs. How the smile on someone’s face can make all the difference in the world when having a tough day. And how I try to see the good in others even when they’re terrible to me.

You see, I have many sweet moments in my life, and I’m sure you have them, too. If you look closely, you can see them. They’re there. They’re waiting for you to discover. When you do, it will amaze you by how it makes you feel knowing you’ve found one. Not everyone knows about them, but that’s okay. One day they will.

What are you sweet moments? What special place do you have that you can call your own?

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