family – Page 55 – Looking to God

Do You Want to…

Posted on February 13, 2015February 16, 2015 by Jack Flacco

There’s a running joke in our family these days that has grown out of control and poses a threat to our sanity. Not really, but once you know what it is you’ll know what I mean. Ever since the release of the movie Frozen, we’ve been taking turns singing the words to Do You Want to Build a Snowman? in a new and original way. We replace the words “to build a snowman” with pretty much anything that pops into our head.

Frozen's Olaf the Snowman — Frozen’s Olaf the Snowman

Like this: Do you wanna read Freedom Friday?

It started with innocent intentions. One of us—I will not name names—me—began to sing the words to the snowman song whenever it snowed. Given I live in Canada and it snows a lot, especially last year, I was singing the opening phrase quite extensively. You can read that as meaning others in my family were telling me, “Stop singing that snowman song.”

Of course, if someone tells Jack he shouldn’t be doing something, what does Jack do? Yep, Jack keeps on doing it. [End of Jack’s third-person dialog.]

So, I did what any other normal person would do—become excruciatingly annoying.

Not only did I sing the song when it snowed, but I also sang it when it didn’t with the added incentive to change the words to suite my needs.

Like this: Do you want to cook some chicken?
Like this: Do you want to have some sushi?
Like this: Do you want a have a party?
Or like this: Do you hate me for my singing?

And on and on it went. Eventually, I’d worn the family down so much that they too fell to the Dark Side.

Now, a year later, we’re all singing it.

At the dinner table: Do you want to pass the salt, please?
In the garage: Will you ever wash the car, dear?
While shopping: Do we need some extra olives?

Naturally, because I write about zombies, I have to have my own version of the song:

Do you want to kill a zombie?
Will you shoot it in the head?
Will you throw it off a cliff and sigh
Watch it fly
Until it’s fully dead?

So really, the moral of this post is this: if you want to change people you should never have to change yourself. Be a nuisance and you just might get what you want.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

Do you want to leave a comment?

Freedom Friday

The Day After the Night Before

Posted on December 26, 2014December 29, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Is it over? I don’t know how long I can survive. The gifts, food, family, fun, arrangements, hugs, kisses, handshakes, decorations, lights, marshmallows, hot chocolate, snacks, parties, TV, movies, music, and in some cases, dancing. It’s not over yet. The day after is PJ day in our home and there’s still New Year’s Day to look forward to.

Freedom Friday is the day I talk about anything that pops into my head. Today let’s talk about the day after the night before.

This is no joke. It’s PJ day here at Casa Flacco, and like past years, the day will go something like this: We’ll wake up at an ungodly hour, have a late breakfast filled with sugary treats for the kids and carbs for the rest of us. Around mid-afternoon we’ll probably start lunch—still in our PJs, then move on to laze about around the fire reading, playing games and reminisce about the night before where we spent the holidays with my parents.

Family time for our family is a big deal. During this time of year, we spend an inordinate amount of hours together with the added benefit of not getting on each other’s nerves. I slipped in that last part because getting along is something we do well. Actually, let me correct that. A fight is a fight, but the next day is a new day and we typically forgive and forget quickly. So, yeah, I’d say getting along is one of our strengths.

Previous years, we played games as the evening wore on. The whole event consists of a board game, bowls of snacks and tons of drinks to keep us occupied round after round of competitive play. Before the kids came along, my wife and I used to do the same thing only with another couple. We’d play Risk until the wee hours of the night stuffing our faces with food while orchestrating a virtual takeover of The Americas. Those were the days. What am I saying? These are the days.

The other good thing about this day has to be the sleep. I’d mentioned how we all wake up late into the morning. That’s not fiction. You see, one of the things we do the night before is wear the new PJs we purchased for this occasion. We do this every year. We get new PJs for all of us, and we then have a reason to sleep in. I don’t know what it is, but new PJs is like a sedative on the body. So comfortable. So relaxing. It’s too bad it only happens once a year. I could sure do this more often. Then again, how many times do we have the opportunity to do that? Okay, I’ll stop self-analyzing.

Now you know a bit more about my family. In some respect, we’re weird—but not as weird as any other family steeped in tradition. We’re just regular folk.

I hope you also have fun today.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

How are your holidays so far? Do you do anything special during this time of year? Movies anyone?

Wednesday Warriors

Clark Griswold

Posted on December 24, 2014December 26, 2014 by Jack Flacco

It may seem odd to highlight an everyman for the second article in the Wednesday Warriors series, but Clark Griswold is not your everyman. He’s the family man who’d make even the Father of the Year look ordinary. And since it is Christmas Eve, who can say Clark is not a warrior for the holidays?

Known for going overboard with his dedication to the holiday season, Clark (Chevy Chase) takes his place among heroes willing to uphold traditions in order to have a fun old-fashioned family Christmas Vacation.

It begins with hauling the family through the white tundra of the awesome winter wonderland in a quest to find the perfect tree. Not just any ol’ tree, but a tree that would make the Eiffel Tower seem short. When asked where he plans to put a tree that size, since it wouldn’t fit in the yard, he quickly says it’s not going in the yard. It’s going in the living room. And, of course, once the tree is set, all Clark has to do is to cut the rope holding the thing together. With a tree that size, we all know what happens. Let’s just say not a window survives.

Ah yes, Clark Griswold, the world’s last true family man. His idea of spending his bonus check is to buy a swimming pool and fly his family down to christen it. A man like him is a lost art. He makes setting up exterior illumination easy. He can’t simply have one, two, three rows of lights on his roof. He has to have the whole roof, pillars leading to the roof, window and doorframes covered in lights. If the draw of electricity becomes too much for the town to handle, all they have to do is switch to auxiliary power to keep up with Clark’s demands on the grid.

When Clark goes all out, he goes all out.

And when everyone’s ready to bail on him because the holiday becomes a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency, he steps in to do what any reasonable man would do—he holds them hostage by threat of violence while wielding a chainsaw as if it were a carving knife for the holiday turkey. Who could blame him? He lost his mind ages ago when he attempted to be the perfect father and hell showed up at his doorstep declaring war on his annual festivities. No, no—no one’s walking out on his fun old-fashioned family Christmas.

But the best part of who Clark is comes when he realizes that no matter how bad things get, he eventually snaps out of his morbid sense of adventure to accept what little good the holiday season presents—even if he keeps company with the jolliest bunch of idiots this side of the nuthouse.

[Author’s note: From my family to yours, have a wonderful holiday season.]

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

Have you seen Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation? What is your favorite part of the movie?

Freedom Friday, Other Things

Sweet Spots

Posted on November 21, 2014May 10, 2017 by Jack Flacco

As you know, I leave Freedom Friday to talk about things that may be on my mind, but don’t know where to fit them into the grand scheme of things. Sometimes I’ll pour it all out in a stream of consciousness, not really editing any of it in hopes what I capture will make sense later on. Sometimes I’ll write a story with a specific point in mind, with nothing but an idea to lead the way.

My family's trip to Niagara Falls. — My family’s trip to Niagara Falls.

Today’s a mix. I have something on my mind, which, at the same time, can constitute a stream of consciousness—yet I’m editing as I go along—so that sort of defeats the purpose of writing the first thought that hits the paper.

Anyway, I want to talk about sweet spots. Don’t worry. This is not about food again, although that would be cool to write about, too. The sweet spots I want to talk about have to do with times and places in my life that, for the lack of a better way to describe them, inspire me.

I’m talking about standing at the top of the stairs in my home overlooking the foyer from behind the railing. I’m not sure what it is that makes that spot so inspiring—it just is. The same goes for the window in our bedroom. I can stare outside all day, watching the leaves fall, the neighbors walking their dog, and kids going to school. It’s another sweet spot I can’t live without.

It's that time of year in our neighborhood. — It’s that time of year in our neighborhood.

Driving behind the wheel of my car also provides me with an incredible feeling. I suppose because I love to drive, it makes it all the more exciting, but that’s not it. I had a piece of crap car for a number of years before this one, and loved to drive it. However, I didn’t consider sitting behind the wheel a sweet spot. I think I like the car I have now because the display is blue. At night, the glow makes it exciting to drive.

Yet those are only things and places. My current seed of happiness is autumn. I shouldn’t talk about this subject again, you’re probably sick of hearing it. I can’t help it though. This time of year is my absolute favorite time. Yes, it’s cold. Yes, it’s dark. And yes, some folks experience SAD, but who can say they hate the howling of the wind on a cold fall night? Who can deny the rain’s power to persuade with thunder and lightning to boot? Who dislikes raking leaves? I know I don’t. It’s my happiest time of year!

The best part? Winter’s right around the corner. Hats. Mits. Heavy coats. Ah, but let’s not forget the hot chocolate, the flannel PJs, and the warm open fire.

Who has time to waste hanging around online? Facebook can wait. Twitter will always be there.

Good books are waiting for a ravenous reader. Family time is the only time. And the joy of going out with good friends at the local tavern calls.

These are the sweets spots in my life, and I’m enjoying them. What are your sweets spots?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

Again, I ask, what are your sweets spots?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Family Women

Posted on February 19, 2014February 24, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Today’s Women Who Wow Wednesday feature has not one, but two women who wow! If you haven’t seen The Family, grab yourself a copy and enjoy some good ol’ fashioned dark comedy.

Not wanting to spoil it for anyone, I’ll only give you a general idea of the film’s premise.

Set in the quiet climes of Normandy, France, the Blake family relocates to what appears as an interesting square-peg-in-a-round-hole situation. Written and directed by Luc Besson, the writer and director of Léon: The Professional, the audience has some pieces to put together before the true picture of the film reveals itself.

Starring Michelle Pfeiffer as Maggie Blake, the pragmatic mom of the family, she proves right away that she can be a handful. As soon as they move into the new digs, her first remark to her husband Fred (Robert DeNiro) is, “It’s cold here.” He quickly says, “I’ll make a fire. Okay? I’ll make a fire.” That’s power.

First things first, Maggie walks into town and she finds the village folk aren’t so nice. All she asked for was where she could find the peanut butter in a small market. The owner didn’t have to speak French behind her back thinking she only knew English. He didn’t have to allow his customers to diss on the Americans, “They liberated us in ’44 but ever since they’ve overrun us.” And he didn’t have to say, “They eat burgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” Not at all.

Of course, Maggie, being the practical person she is fixes the situation the best way she knows how. She bombs the place.

Then there’s Belle Blake (Dianna Agron), the daughter. A genuine belle. Blond, blue eyes, and incredibly attractive. Every male in the new school can’t help but turn his head in appreciation of her great looks. Every male, that is, including the idiots. She gets into a car with four idiots who thought they could drive her to a park and take advantage of her. Little do they know she grew up in tougher neighborhoods. When one of them decides to slip the shoulder strap from her dress and says, “Oops,” she smiles. They smile back. After all, they unloaded the car to have a picnic.

Now to Belle, being American and all, what picnic would it be without tennis? Right? She pulls the racquet from the trunk of the car and beats the crap out of the boy with the sticky fingers. Her solution.

The women of The Family are not ordinary women. Not at all. They have a way with making things work, even if situations are unworkable. They don’t take flak from anyone and they always, always get what they want. What’s more beautiful than a woman who knows what she wants?

Besides, they look like girls who can get things done.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you seen The Family? What do you think of the women in the movie?

Freedom Friday, Other Things

More than Friends

Posted on November 15, 2013May 10, 2017 by Jack Flacco

By the time you read this, it will have been a full two weeks since I wrote it. Yes, this is how far in advance I plan these things. Tonight, or rather two weeks ago, my wife read me a journal entry she’d written about our courtship almost a year before our marriage. I had to cross-reference it with my own journal entry for that same period to find what I thought of our friendship.

Can you believe we wrote journal entries of our experiences together before we got married, and we didn’t know we did until a few years ago? Enjoy this Freedom Friday post, it’s about my wife and I, and how we became more than friends.

As I’d mentioned, my wife and I kept journals. We didn’t know we did, and we certainly didn’t know we’d write about our experiences from two different points of views. For instance, a few months prior to making my intentions known that I’d wanted our friendship to move to a new level, she was dating other guys. Nothing came of those relationships, but she did learn what she didn’t want in a guy.

In the meantime, I’d written how I had dated widely—not the girl Widely—widely in the sense of extensively or broadly. I know, corny joke. Anyway, at the time, I’d dated almost every girl in our church. It was a goal I had, and I’d almost completed it had I not chased after my wife.

When we first met, we had zero attraction to one another. Yep. Zilch. Nada. Squat. Don’t get me wrong, we got along. We dated a few times, you know, because we liked each other’s company and all, but we didn’t have that “love at first sight” lightning bolt strike us like you hear other couples had happen to them. We just became good friends, which meant hanging with the same crowd, doing stuff together, and simply having fun. We didn’t feel any pressure to become anything more either. Our families and our church let us do our thing while they went on their merry way.

And thank goodness we weren’t part of one of those cults that grooms kids to get married as soon as they hit legal age, and then the couple pops out a bazillion kids, and then one or both feels empty, lonely, depressed ‘cause one or both had to give up their dream on account of thinking they were doing what they were supposed to do but now they’re scratching their head wondering what went wrong since, after all, they fell in love with each other as soon as their eyes met in second period Chem. class and those awesome feelings were there and, and, and…

Whew! Where am I? Oh, now I remember—us.

By contrast, our relationship grew slowly. We dated other people while we stayed friends. Our Saturday nights consisted of practicing our singing routine with our outreach group that toured retirement homes on Sundays. As well, throughout the week, we’d stay in touch by phone, talking about the mundane things in life, like the way the fabric softener hides in the clothes when sorting them in baskets.

But it wasn’t until one sunny afternoon when we’d gone to the library together that we had realized something else brewed beneath the simple conversations, the spur of the moment dinners, and the long walks. I’d noticed it months prior, yet she hadn’t come around.

I can never forget where we were. We stood between bookshelves with the Italian section looking straight at us. And it happened. A giddy moment between friends. We exchanged the words, “I love you.”

From that moment forward, the awesomeness kicked in. Whatever we thought we hadn’t felt for each had suddenly appeared in gushing waves of affection that remains to this day. Not a day goes by that we don’t hug or hold hands. Like the other day, when she picked me up in the pouring rain from my walk, and she didn’t immediately put the car in drive but just stared at me.

I said, “What?”

She said, “Well?” then smiled.

Oh, of course. I kissed her.

We drove home to where I wrote another journal entry for that day.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

How would you describe your relationship with the love of your life?

Freedom Friday

Ideas and Decisions

Posted on September 6, 2013September 6, 2013 by Jack Flacco

Most of my best ideas come to me at five in the morning while shaving. To a lesser degree, ideas also pop into my head while showering. What is it about personal hygiene that makes me want to think about the future? Does it have anything to do with washing away the cumulative dirt and grime from the day before in preparation for a new beginning? Let’s find out as I attempt to make sense of the whole thing for Freedom Friday.

When I was in that awkward age hitting puberty, I knew I had to start taking bathing more seriously. I mean, for two years I grew up on a farm in Italy, and access to running water was an issue for my family. So I understood the concept of washing my face, but beyond that, I was your typical boy running around, playing soccer in the mud, and getting all excited when my friends wanted to skip rocks down by the river. Mark Twain would have loved me.

Anyway, when I moved back to Canada with my parents, baths became a normal routine, and shaving all of a sudden needed my attention. I had just turned fourteen and my face looked like something out of Planet of the Apes. My dad had bought me my first razor. He was proud of me. I had finally reached maturity. Right, maybe physically, but mentally, even now at times, I still had the brain of a ten-year-old.

I can’t remember how long but if I’m not mistaken, shaving took me about fifteen to twenty minutes. I used to do it once, twice a week in the evening. I couldn’t do it before going to school ‘cause it took me, like, furr-ev-ah. At least, I thought. But once I was no longer a student, had a regular job, shaving turned into a daily chore. I couldn’t avoid it. My five o’clock shadow would always show up at around three in the afternoon.

Gosh, I’m reading that previous paragraph thinking, that’s an awful lot of information for a back story to what I wanted to talk about. Meh, I’ll leave it in. You tell me if you enjoyed it or not.

Okay, let’s travel to the present day. It roughly takes me five to ten minutes to shave every day now. Yes, every day, including weekends. Other than having my mind on the blade gliding on my face, my thoughts also wander. I think about things. Mull things over. Wonder and ponder on the meaning of why certain events happened the day before, the week before, that month. I don’t mean to. It just happens. Now I question if this is normal. I’m sure it is.

For instance, a millennia ago, it was while I was shaving that I’d decided to marry my wife. It was also when the idea popped into my mind about where we’d enjoy our honeymoon. Eventually, after a few years married, talk of kids came. As I would cut away the whiskers from my beard, I had convinced myself kids were a good thing to have. Believe me—I’m talking about months of shaving therapy here.

As life went on, thoughts of buying a house crept into the mix. Wanting to get a cat. Buying a used car. Getting a bigger house. Painting the rooms. Buying a new car. Planting a garden. Having another kid. Volunteering at the church. Driving the kids to their ball games. Planning vacations. Attending weddings. Attending baptisms. Attending funerals. Meeting new people. Having had enough of some people. Christmases. Easters. Thanksgivings.

Of course there were those mornings I’d think of other things too. Like, how long has that paint been peeling next to the mirror? Or, when did I last have an oil change? I’m sure it was last month. It has to be last month.

All in all, after the thousands of blades I must have consumed over the course of my lifetime, I have never regretted not wanting to have a beard.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.

Where do your ideas come from? Have you ever made life decisions while performing menial tasks?

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