Posted in Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs V

In Latest News: Jack Flacco presents RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION cover reveal.

Since it’s the long weekend here, I thought you’d all like to have some fun with zombies. Hey, who doesn’t want to have fun with zombies? Can I have a show of hands? I didn’t think so. Today’s Monday Mayhem is all about fun. Can you guess why?

Zombie Hunting License
Zombie Hunting License

That’s right. It’s that time again, folks. It’s time to put your thinking caps on and help me escape the zombies. Are you ready to indulge in some serious undead running? It ain’t gonna be pretty. Not today. How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide. And if you missed them, here are the first four parts: I, II, III, IV.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: You are sitting on a raft in the middle of a bay surrounded by land on three sides. Two sides have those undead critters wanting to take a bite out of you. Of the remaining sides, one is a small peninsula and the other heads to sea. You haven’t eaten in three days. Do you take a chance and land on the peninsula? Or do you head for sea, hoping the tide will take you to new land? The catch? Within minutes of landing on the peninsula, the zombies can easily chase you.

My Answer: If I have a gun with me, I’ll take a chance. If not, I’ll be too weak from starvation to think straight. In that case, I’d head for sea.

Zombie Warning Sign
Zombie Warning Sign

Scenario #2: Chewers have been after you all afternoon. They finally thrust you to the top of an apartment building with nowhere to go but down. Luck’s with you, though. You find a plank lying on the ledges between buildings. It looks as if others have been in this situation before you. When you look over the ledge, ten stories to the bottom, you see the remains of those who once attempted to cross the threshold. Seeing this, do you attempt to get to the other side or do you stay and fight, knowing you might not have a chance?

My Answer: I would try walking the plank to the other side. If I fall, it would be a quick death, which would contrast the slow death caught at the hands of the zombies.

Scenario #3: You’re on a Caribbean cruise when you notice everything around you changing. Some of the passengers are chasing the others, making meat of them. You manage to lock yourself in a cabin with nothing but the door and a porthole to escape. You think to yourself that you’ll survive for the couple of days, but eventually you’ll have to find food. The kitchen is on the floor below yours. You’ll have to negotiate your way through the corridors and hope you don’t encounter one of them. That’s one of the choices. The other? You’re ten miles from shore. You can dive and take a chance swimming. The problem is you’ll be diving in shark-infested waters. What do you do?

My Answer: I don’t know about you, but taking a dive into a shark’s mouth doesn’t sound as appealing as fighting zombies on my way to find food. In other words, let me quote the worn cliché: Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.

Scenario #4: I saved the best for last. Trapped in a city bus with four other people, the undead are banging on the door. If you try to climb through any of the windows, the horde will have their way with you. You have no chance of surviving. Then, an evil idea comes to you. It’s such a rotten idea that you try to push it out of your mind. If you throw one of your friends to the zombies, perhaps the distraction will give you an opportunity to escape. It’s a long shot. Would you?

My Answer: This is an easy one for me. It would be an emphatic no. Then again, if those four other people get the same notion of me, I wouldn’t know what to do.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What would you do?

Posted in Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs IV

If you’re new to Monday Mayhem, you’ll appreciate that I not only delve on the dark side of zombiehood, but also on the lighter side. And if you’re one of those folks who’s been reading me for a while, then by today’s title you’ll recognize where I’m going with this post.

Zombie Hunting License
Zombie Hunting License

That’s right. It’s that time again, folks. It’s time to put your thinking caps on and help me escape the zombies. Are you ready to indulge in some serious undead running? It ain’t gonna be pretty. Not today.

How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide. And if you missed them, here are the first three parts: I, II, III.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: Zombies have trapped twenty of your friends in the school gymnasium. The evil maggot bags are slamming against the door trying to get in. Your friends have barred the only entrance with a fire hose wrapped around the handles. They have minutes before the horde makes them meat. You’re alone in the hall on the opposite end, unarmed. Do you save your friends?

My Answer: My answer to this question will always be yes. At the same time, I’ll try to find something I can use to defend myself. If anything, I’ll try to draw them outside, giving my friends a chance to escape. Call me noble.

Zombie What Ifs IVScenario #2: You’re on a boat and you’ve run out of supplies. You have to get back to shore, but the undead have overrun the docks. If you land, you might as well say good-bye. What do you do? Do you take a chance at docking? Or do you attempt to sail to another port?

My Answer: Not knowing where to find another port will deter me from looking. Then again, I can try fishing to see if I can catch my dinner without sharks eating me. I’ll probably search the coast for a place where I can dock, then look for fresh supplies. This is a tough one.

Scenario #3: Your car ran out of gas in a small town. A service station rests two miles down Main Street. It’s dusk and soon you will not know what the evening will bring. Your passengers are shivering with fright. The two-mile hike is not far, but you’re afraid if you make the journey, your passengers will fall into the hands of the undead. Do you stay in town for the night; hoping shelter will provide the safety you need before dawn? Or do you take a chance, make the trek to the service station and when you return you hope to find the car and the passengers in one piece?

My Answer: I don’t know about you, but I’ll try to find a place to rest until morning, then I’ll make the journey to get gas in broad daylight. If anything, I want to see what will attempt to make me into a brunch dessert before I flee.

Scenario #4: On foot, you’re alone, running from the horde. You come across a bridge. Perfect. But you wonder if you cross it, will there be another horde on the other side waiting to turn you into its dinner. You take a chance, you cross the bridge. Halfway, another crowd of zombies appears at the opposite end of the bridge, just as you had suspected. What do you do? Do you turn back and take a chance hoping the original horde is not as gruesome as you might think? Or do throw yourself off the bridge to the water below, not knowing if the impact alone will kill you?

My Answer: I’d take a chance and go for the plunge. I’d rather die upon impact than to slowly waste away in the jaws of devouring zombies.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What would you do?