Looking to God

Jokes II

Posted on January 30, 2015February 2, 2015 by Jack Flacco

How many people like jokes? I know I do. One of the benefits of writing my Freedom Friday posts is that it gives me the opportunity to write about whatever’s on my mind. Sometimes I write about personal stuff, but today I thought I’d write a few jokes to lighten up the mood during these dark days we all call winter.

Brad Pitt at Toronto International Film Festival

Mind you, these aren’t my jokes. They’re more like humorous tales I had picked up over the years that I’ve kept tucked away safely for those times when I need to let loose. I suppose today would be one of those occasions.

So, have a read–hopefully–you’ll also have a laugh and maybe you can also share one of your jokes with me in the comments area so I can laugh, too. Enjoy!

AN ARKANSAS DELIVERY

DELIVERY COINCIDENCES

GOD’S DEAD DOG

“That’s all, folks!”

Do you have any jokes you’d like to share?

Wednesday Warriors

Man with No Name

Posted on January 28, 2015January 30, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Growing up, I had a hero. He wasn’t a sports hero, a superhero or a musician. Nor was he a TV or movie star. He had an unassuming walk, and he seemed quite harmless—that is if you look at him for what he represented. I always thought of him as enterprising. But that’s just me.

I’m talking about the Man with No Name, the character Clint Eastwood portrayed in 1964 that made him an international superstar. What would Wednesday Warriors be if I didn’t feature this taller-than-life character for my weekly series?

Directed by Sergio Leone, A Fistful of Dollars brought to life a character so rich in detail and so vivid in breadth that Leone had to direct two other movies (For a Few Dollars More and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly) to solidify the Man with No Name’s legend in the annals of the great American Western.

Known as Joe, Manco and Blondie, based on chronological appearance in the films, Clint Eastwood’s interpretation of a man who happens to wander in the middle of a feud turns into a battle cry for opportunity. The character pits families and armies against each other all in an effort to gain a profit from the animosity created.

Smoking cheap cigars and wearing a Mexican shawl, anyone else would consider him a regular nobody. But his adversaries can’t help but notice how he towers over them at six-foot-four and carries under his shawl a peacemaker called a Smith & Wesson.

In his first gunfight, he asks the local undertaker to prepare three coffins. He then strolls to the center of town challenging a group of hoodlums to apologize to his mule for scaring it with their errant gunfire. They were only teasing. He understands, but you see, the mule didn’t take kindly to the suggestion they were only fooling. Now if they’d apologize, like he knows they would, everything would be fine.

They don’t apologize.

When the Man with No Name passes by the undertaker once more he simply says, “My mistake” and holds up his fingers, “four.”

In the second and third movies, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly being the most popular, the character establishes his gunfighter prowess by eliminating one gang after another with a mission to gain as much gold as he can in the shortest possible time. His nicknames range from The Stranger, The Hunter to The Bounty Killer. However, if you think the character is all rock and no velvet, he does have a soft side. He reunites a little boy with his mother and sends them away, to the chagrin of the local gang who had held the boy for other nefarious intents.

Clint’s character also suffers brutal beatings at the hands of the gangs when he tries to do what he feels is best for everyone in a situation.

What I like most about the character Man with No Name though, is how the strong and silent type became a template for other actors in future films, even up to this day. To the merit of Sergio Leone and Clint Eastwood, the character typifies that not every situation in life deserves words.

Sometimes, all we need is action.

Have you seen any of the Man with No Name movies starring Cling Eastwood? What do you think of them?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs VI

Posted on January 26, 2015January 28, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Since it’s the middle of winter here in Canada, I thought to warm things up we’d have fun with zombies. Hey, who doesn’t want to have fun with zombies? Can I have a show of hands? I didn’t think so. Today’s Monday Mayhem is all about fun!

That’s right. It’s that time again, folks. It’s time to put your thinking caps on and help me escape the zombies. Are you ready to indulge in some serious undead running? It ain’t gonna be pretty. Not today. How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide. And if you missed them, here are the first five parts: I, II, III, IV, V.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: In the middle of the street, 50 chewers have you surrounded. You have a knife, but how long do you think you’ll last before one of them takes a bite? Next to your feet, a manhole sits open. You think a construction crew must have been working in the sewers below when the change took place. You have a decision to make. Will you stand and fight, taking your chances that you might die trying. Or will you drop into the manhole, in raw sewage, not knowing what awaits you below?

My Answer: A group of 50 chewers seems a bit too much to fight all on my own. I’ll take my chances in the manhole.

Scenario #2: You’ve jammed a knife under a door preventing zombies from breaking into your basement bathroom. You climb the sink and can reach the window overhead, but it’s sealed shut. The only chance you have is to break the window and climb outside to ground level. You realize, though, a few things can happen. If you break the window, shards of glass may remain in the frame, therefore gutting you as you attempt to escape. Also, breaking the window can alert other undead to your location up above. The other option is to sit in the bathroom and wait—this may lead you to starving yourself to death. What do you do?

My Answer: I’d rather starve than gut myself trying to escape.

Scenario #3: You have a gun strapped to your waist and a knife hanging from your neck as you dangle on a rope several feet from a horde. With their arms stretched toward you, it will only be a matter of time before they grab you. Above is the hole in the warehouse’s ceiling from where you came. Another crowd of eaters is waiting for you there. What’s the solution? Go up, you die. Go down, you die.

My Answer: It’s a warehouse, I’m sure I can swing my way out of it.

What would you do?

Freedom Friday, Other Things

Warren Buffett

Posted on January 23, 2015May 10, 2017 by Jack Flacco

I have a story to tell you. It’s an interesting story, but not so far-fetched that you can’t believe it. It has to do with a school assignment, one of the richest men in the world, and a letter that made a young boy’s Christmas.

I’ve saved this Freedom Friday article for today because I thought it would be a great pick-me-up for anyone wondering if wonderful things do happen when you least expect them. And we’re in the middle of winter, so that’s another reason.

The story begins with a school assignment my son received in November. His task was an easy one—to write a fan letter to someone he admires. Simple enough, right? Only, his heroes are not the type of heroes you’d expect. Unlike his father who enjoys watching his heroes blow things up—namely Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone or any other buff actor who is ready to rip the larynx from a zombie. My son holds in high regard heroes such as Bill Gates whose foundation contributes to a wide variety of global causes, and Warren Buffett, philanthropist extraordinaire, the second richest man in the world (at the time of this writing).

What does he do? He writes a letter to Warren Buffett explaining how he’s a young investor with the dream of one day becoming as wise and as prudent as he, the Oracle of Omaha is. And a wonderful letter he wrote—three paragraphs talking about his aspirations, and why Mr. Buffett is his idol.

He didn’t send the letter out right away. It hung around the foyer shelf for a while before his mother got after him to get the letter to the mailbox.

The day he sent it, he thought nothing of it. He wasn’t expecting anything back and chalked it up to another assignment under his belt.

Berkshire Hathaway's Warren Buffett — Berkshire Hathaway’s Warren Buffett

Christmas Eve came and so did the mail. In between our town’s pizza ads and Season’s Greetings cards, a letter arrived addressed to my son from Berkshire Hathaway. For those unfamiliar with the firm, it’s Warren Buffett’s holding company where he completes most of his trades and transactions. Simply put—it’s where Mr. Buffett works. My son received a letter from them.

Exciting stuff, eh?

I asked him to open it. Do you know what he said to me? He said, “No, I’ll wait until tomorrow to open it.” Man, I don’t think I could have held off that long, but my son’s a patient kid and until the next day, we waited.

When Christmas morning arrived, my wife and I attempted to complete the ritual of sleeping in while the kids executed their nefarious plan to make as much noise as possible to wake us. Of course, wide-eyed and knowing, we slogged our way down the stairs into the family room to open the presents.

As each present met the hands of its intended recipient, the Berkshire Hathaway letter sat, lonely and depressed, wondering if my son had forgotten about it.

He hadn’t. He left it until the very end—that is to say—left it until he had no choice but to open it.

“Are you now going to tell us what the letter says?” I asked him.

Somewhat apprehensive, a bit timid, he reached for the letter from his hero’s company and ripped the outer layer away to get to the meat of the communication.

He unfolded it. To his surprise, it was his letter. The company had returned his original letter to him. No explanation. Nothing. For a moment, my son had disappointment gushing from his face.

Soon he noticed the very bottom of the letter had some writing on it. It said:

And right there, we all had shock on our faces. The second richest man in the world had taken a moment to write my son’s name in his own handwriting, and topped it off with best wishes.

Not only did the experience make for a wonderful year-end gift for my son, but also provided me the opportunity to write about it today.

We’re still saying, “Wow!”

Have you had something so unbelievable happen to you that it could make for a great plot to a movie?

Wednesday Warriors

Daryl Dixon

Posted on January 21, 2015January 23, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Last week I wrote about Rick Grimes, the leader of the survivors of AMC’s The Walking Dead. This week, I thought I’d add to my Wednesday Warriors series by talking about Daryl, the pragmatist of the group. Not only does he have a way of making things work by taking the simple approach, but he’s also the character no one would want to lose if things in the series should end up going south.

There’s a running joke on the internet, more of a meme. It goes something like this:

It may seem funny, and yes, I must admit that it does strike me as humorous. But it also contains an element of truth others would rather ignore. That truth being, rednecks know a lot more about survival than the rest of us could ever imagine knowing in our entire lifetime.

Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus) draws the audience in with his quick use of his bow and the easy way about him as he hunts for squirrel. What would make most of us sick; Daryl will eat without a second thought. If a group goes into an abandoned house looking for food in the cupboards, he’d be the guy who’d scavenge in the basement in the hope of finding a mouse he could skewer for his evening meal.

I’m just getting started. His crossbow is his weapon of choice. Not only does he hunt with it, he also kills walkers with it efficiently. In some instances, he utilizes the arrow only and spikes walkers through the top of the head. Then, of course, he also can use the butt of the bow to ram it into a biter’s head, delivering an equally brutal blow as a means of silencing the undead.

He may act mean, and can sometimes go off on people, as if he were about to slap them silly, but he knows when they need his help. He’s had run-ins with folks who have wanted to kill him only for them to find later that he was willing to forgive and help. He has a conscience, and that’s a good thing. None of the survivors can dispute his loyalty. He’s always willing to help, and he is always willing to push the extreme to get things done.

Daryl Dixon may be a fictional character, yet his personality is recognizable as one who everyone knows. He may not be approachable, and he may seem aloof, but make no mistake, when things get out of hand he is there to rescue everyone in distress.

You can be sure of that.

If you’ve watched The Walking Dead, what do you think of the character Daryl Dixon?

Monday Mayhem

The Walking Dead: Violence

Posted on January 19, 2015January 21, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Terminus. Bent over a trough with their hands tied behind their back, they await their fate. A baseball bat to the back of the head. Their throats slit. Another episode of The Walking Dead makes a debut.

For today’s Monday Mayhem I would like to talk a bit about the level of violence in The Walking Dead. Why is it there? And—is it necessary?

[Spoilers lie therein.]

If you have followed The Walking Dead for any length of time, you will know the show has gone through a transformation of sorts that, for lack of a better cliché, has pushed the envelope of dramatic series television. Season 5’s premier episode caught viewers off-guard with one of the most brutal scenes ever depicted on the small screen. If a phrase ought to typify the episode, it would be this one: “You’re either the butcher or the cattle.” If the viewer thought they had seen it all in the final episode of Season 4, they had miscalculated the show’s ability to deliver an even more shocking story.

You see, up to that point, the violence had always centered around the undead ending up splattered all over a wall or torn apart from gunfire. Humans receiving the brunt of their destruction typically came from walkers searching for food. That is until the absolute terror-inducing scene in the slaughterhouse of Season 5’s premier. It was then the viewer realized just how cruel a human could be toward another human.

The increasing level of viciousness from season-to-season attests to one thing the show has accomplished well—depicting that humans left to their own devices will kill without mercy.

Necessary? Yes.

The violence in The Walking Dead has become a symbol of what society would be like should an actual apocalypse take place. Brother will turn against brother. Hatred will spawn more hatred. And the concept of family will extend to those who will come to the aid of the less fortunate. If it sounds pessimistic, you’re right. But if you caught that last sentence, there will always be those who will not succumb to the human compulsion of killing. They are the ones who will make the world a better place.

Does that sound idealistic? Perhaps. But who’s to say how it will all play out until it actually happens? All I know is in every disaster, there are heroes.

And the heroes are the ones who will make a difference.

What do you think about the violence depicted in The Walking Dead? Have you had any nightmares yet?

Freedom Friday

Heads Down

Posted on January 16, 2015January 19, 2015 by Jack Flacco

This week has been interesting, don’t you think? Monday, I talked about my binge watching ways of The Walking Dead episodes from AMC. Wednesday, I wrote about Rick Grimes, a small town sheriff’s deputy who finds himself in a real-to-goodness zombie apocalypse. And today? I’m not sure. Perhaps I can talk about zombies, but I have something else on my mind. Forgive me if I go off on a tangent for the next few minutes. Bear with me, folks.

Freedom Friday wouldn’t be the same without me observing something and not telling you about it.

Recently I took the train into the city from my own small town, and although I’ve noticed this before, I’ve never written about it. Seems this is common, and since purchasing an iPhone 6, I’m finding I’m doing the same thing. What am I talking about?

Heads down.

You know what I’m talking about.

Walk into any coffee shop, bus station or simply sit on a park bench. It’s there.

Heads down.

Terrible, isn’t it? There was a time I could stand in line or sit in a waiting room at the doctor’s office where I could strike up a conversation with someone there, talk about the weather, the latest sports scores or anything really. Not anymore.

Heads down.

Even going out to have a meal with the family. Instead of folks paying attention to their menus they’re doing other things that have nothing to do with either the meal or the conversation at hand. In an effort to remain connected, have we disconnected? Well?

Heads down.

I used to love sitting in a movie theater before the feature presentation. I went through the rite of passage of easing the seat back, putting my feet up, and joking with my friends about the silly, stupid things in life that makes us who we are. Hairstyles. Clothes. Talk.

Talk. Talk. Talk.

Not anymore.

Heads down.

It’s silly, isn’t it? We’re living a world where never have we had it so easy to talk with someone, yet we’re still alone.

Train ride. Coffee shop. Bus station. Park bench. Standing in line. Waiting room. Eating out. Movie theater.

What about it? Did you have your head down while reading this?

Have you noticed it, too?

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