Looking to God

Cottage Zombies

Posted on August 3, 2015August 2, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Given it’s a holiday where I live, and most townsfolk around these parts have gone away for the weekend, I thought for today’s Monday Mayhem feature I’d talk about zombies in cottage country. As weird as the subject sounds, I would find it interesting should the zombie apocalypse occur on a long weekend in an isolated area. Let me explain what I mean.

What if you’re sitting in a boat in the middle of a lake fishing to your heart’s content while you hear awful noises coming from the woods? Would you row the boat to investigate or would you simply sit there hoping no one or anything notices you? The idea that the zombie apocalypse could occur in a rural area is remote—no pun intended. In a city, if there is an infection of undead proportions, not everyone would have a chance to make it out alive. The infection would spread from person to person, and those caught by the the roaming hordes will become part of the crowd.

However, in rural areas, there is a slim possibility that whatever happens in the city will also happen on the farms. The likelihood of that happening is slim, since people would be further away from each other in order for anyone to infect others.

What about cottage country? Wouldn’t the zombies have the time of their lives hunting humans, since the environment would be quieter than the city and anyone making any noise would alert the chewers to their location? What if it were a long weekend?

To me, if such a scenario does take place, I can only relate the incident to one thing—those caught on the beach on Amity Island in the film Jaws. In the film, the small island becomes a feeding ground to a great white shark. The town is small and it relies on summer dollars from tourists to keep the economy afloat. Similarly, many of cottage towns in our vicinity thrive on summer dollars to stay in business, therefore, there is a heavy push for towns to bring in city-folk into the region.

Again, I ask, would it be possible a zombie apocalypse could occur in cottage country?

My answer is a resounding yes. An ordinary cottage town of a thousand people mushrooms in the summer to ten to fifteen thousand. If one should have the zombie infection, the whole region could come under scrutiny. Furthermore, since many of these cottage towns border on a lake, most if not all the people will be on the beach enjoying the sun while the rampage occurs.

Ah, yes. But someone may ask, how could it affect other towns?

Remember that guy in the boat? Do you think he has a chance of getting out if he knows the whole town has turned zombie? Would he row to another area of the lake as a means to escape? He could. It is possible. Unfortunately, it isn’t probable. He has one of two decisions to act upon. Either a) he stays in the boat hoping he has enough provisions to outlast the apocalypse, which I doubt, or b) he could land his dingy ashore, take a chance and run through the woods for an escape.

Either way, he won’t make it.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, folks!

Do you think a zombie apocalypse could take place in the rural backwoods of cottage country? What do you think would be the best way to prevent such an event from occurring?

The Airport

Posted on July 31, 2015May 9, 2017 by Jack Flacco

The other day I went to pick up my wife at Toronto Pearson International Airport. I wish the circumstances for her trip could have been better, but that’s life. Nonetheless, I used the time in a way I hadn’t imagined and I thought for Freedom Friday, I’d share my experience.

Her flight came in delayed, which isn’t unusual since things like that happen. Instead of grumbling, as many of the others who were waiting for their loved ones were doing, I found myself watching those around me. People-watching is something I do a lot. I try not to make it obvious, as it takes a certain skill to watch people without garnering attention on oneself. I’m not speaking from a spying perspective, but from a natural curiosity of what people do when they think others are not watching.

For instance, I saw a young woman sitting by herself studying the crowd with a sign on her lap. She didn’t readily hold it up, but grabbing a quick peek, I found she was part of the Pan Am Games welcoming committee. I assumed either she was waiting for an athlete or an official arriving from the same flight my wife was on. I was wrong. Eventually, she rose when a man approached her from another flight, and she said his name. She also had assumed wrong. The look on her face told the whole story. Disappointment. Embarrassment. Defeat. She quickly raised her sign and waited until the right person appeared. Somehow, she was self-conscience holding up the greeting sign.

The other scene that piqued my interest was the joy a mother and father experienced when their daughter rushed into their arms. Water flowed. Embraces were strong. The grins on everyone’s faces could have powered half a city block. All those movies where you see people slamming into each other at the end is reminiscent of this scene. The emotional impact from the event couldn’t stop me from smiling. I’m still trying to figure out why those emotional moments affect people somewhat the same way. Oh, how wonderful is the power of a hug!

Of course, no people-watching session would be complete without the screaming kid. The parents looked as if they had gotten off the flight from hell. The father was dragging the baggage from behind and the mother was pushing the stroller while holding her bawling daughter. It was awful. The kid wouldn’t stop crying. She wanted to get into the stroller but her mother had stuffed the front seat with a carry-on. Poor kid. I know the father was about to blow. The veins in his neck had bulged and he was turning red by the second. I think they had all they could do from loosing their minds. Poor parents.

Eventually, my wife arrived and we drove out to eat. But having noticed how people behaved, I wondered something. I wondered if there was anyone watching us.

Have you watched people lately? If so, what have you learned?

Wednesday Warriors

Robbie Hart

Posted on July 29, 2015July 28, 2015 by Jack Flacco

No matter how many times I watch The Wedding Singer, the character Robbie Hart always does something in the film that makes me think hard about true love. This time around, since I saw it a few weeks ago, it was all about the little things. Today, I’d like to talk about Robbie Hart and about what makes him so unique that I would include him in my Wednesday Warriors series.

Adam Sandler as Robbie Hart in The Wedding Singer

You know you’re in trouble when you look through your movie collection and all you can find is an Adam Sandler movie. In truth, that’s a good thing, since trouble means laughing through it even after multiple viewings haven’t diminished the impact of the content. The film The Wedding Singer is like that. Filled with inside jokes and funny transitions, the flick comes with two admirable stars whose chemistry flows from the screen.

Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler) is a wedding singer who loses his fiancée at the altar. The no-show devastates him enough to cause him to have a meltdown of sorts. During this time, Julia Sullivan (Drew Barrymore), the new employee at the wedding hall he plays at, and his future romantic interest, promises to hire Hart’s band as the band who should play for her own wedding. As the story progresses, the two discover that their friendship is more than what they expect and confront their feelings for each other in one of the most sentimental and funniest movie endings.

What makes Robbie a unique character to admire is the way he handles life. Other than his fiancée dumping him, he doesn’t allow life to dictate the way he lives. He’s a wedding singer—how cool is that? Every weekend is party time. Additionally, given he lives in a small town where he grew up, he has decided to live his life where his kids can grow up safe and secure away from the big city madness that grips all twentysomethings like him.

He doesn’t make a lot of money. So what? He may not have the best of opportunities to move forward with his life. So what? He’s happy. That’s what counts. He realizes that, and anyone around him knows he’s the relaxed type who enjoys his time with friends and family. That counts for something, doesn’t it?

Regarding his relaxed attitude—nothing really bothers Robbie. One of his older students could pour two meatballs with sauce in his hands, but rather than get annoyed, he runs with it and is grateful for the thought. His best friend Julia has that same relaxed attitude. She doesn’t have a problem with Robbie’s wedding singer status, his small-town dreams and his penchant for laughing at the weirdest of things. She loves him just the same.

Which brings me to Robbie’s best character attribute. With him, it’s the little things:

If anything, Robbie Hart has heart. And in a world where things sometimes move too fast, Robbie is a welcome relief to de-stress and look at life through a different pair of eyes.

What do you think of Robbie Hart. Have you seen The Wedding Singer?

Monday Mayhem

Why Do Zombies Attack?

Posted on July 27, 2015July 26, 2015 by Jack Flacco

Some people never change. If you’ve heard that expression, you’re not alone. Yet In a zombie apocalypse, everyone can change. No one is safe. And the stubborn, those who run merrily along pursuing life’s little rewards, are the ones who the apocalypse will affect the most. Now, if only I can explain the zombie’s incessant need to attack—life would be perfect. Maybe there is an answer to this perplexing question. After all, Monday Mayhem wouldn’t be the same without answering another of life’s little mysteries:

Why do zombies attack?

Have you ever stood face to face with a lion while staring at it behind the bars of its den? I have. I’ve always wondered why it simply doesn’t attack the cage when it senses people nearby. The same goes for tigers and bears. Why don’t they without relent, pound the bars to get at you while you peruse their domain? Apparently, feeding them quells their inner desire to harvest us as their next meal. What makes zombies so different?

One would assume zombies work the same way. Feed the zombie and it would forget about dinner. It doesn’t work that way. If a stadium of people had a horde of the undead after them, the undead wouldn’t rest until every human dies an excruciating death. A handful of zombies can clear a room of unarmed humans without much trouble. In other words, no matter how much a zombie eats, it still wants more. Why?

Firstly, unlike animals, zombies have an “always on” switch that no one can turn off. Well, that’s not true. Shoot them in the head and they turn off—permanently. I digress. Zombies’ visual acuity does not function on movement alone but on the recognition that a live human is present. Call it thermal imaging, stealth detection or plain “I can see you” principle, zombies have a sharp optical sensor that allows them to spot its prey miles away.

Secondly, complimenting their evolved optical cortex, zombies sport an acute sense of hearing. Somehow, their auditory tracks allow them to hear whispers, which would add to the list of things that spring them into attack mode.

Lastly, as I mentioned, the zombie appetite is resilient. They are always hungry.

Put these all together and you have a good grasp of the undead killing machine.

Zombies attack because they have no choice other than to attack. Their sole motive is to consume. Their visual and auditory senses propel them to act on their impulses to maim and eat human. Simply eating one, two or three of us will not satisfy them. They want to eat us all. Their insatiable appetite hovers around madness, because their senses dictate for them to purge the world of our presence. Zombies can’t help themselves, and they will not surrender for any one of us.

If only zombies could remain docile behind the bars of a cage so as humans can visit them like lions, tigers and bears. Wouldn’t that be something?

Why do you think zombies attack?

Freedom Friday, Other Things

Facebook

Posted on July 24, 2015May 9, 2017 by Jack Flacco

I’m not seeing my friends’ posts on Facebook anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m seeing a lot of their activities, their comments, their likes, but I’m not seeing their actual posts on my news feed. I don’t know why. Then again, on a good day my care less factor when it comes to Facebook ranges between 9 and 10. So, yeah, I guess I’ll tell you a bit about my experience with the platform for Freedom Friday and hopefully I’ll make some sense of this predicament.

The news feed is a good place to start. I loved Facebook a few years ago. I could pop in, check to see how my friends were doing and if I found anything they had written interesting, I’d interact with them like a cool drop-in or social. I loved the photos they shared and the cute stories attached to the memory.

I don’t see any of that now. My news feed has become a mishmash of so-and-so commented on this and so-and-so liked that. It’s become more of a reporting system for anyone curious to see what their friends are into. I liken the current environment to someone walking through our backyard and peeking through our window to spy on who we’re hanging with. The whole idea has shifted from seeing what others are posting to what others are commenting on and liking. I’m not sure when it changed, but lately I’ve been trying to bring back the old news feed in order to not feel so much as a Peeping Tom than anything else.

First order of business was playing around with the “Follow” button. I notice when I unfollow someone on Facebook, I don’t see anything of theirs on my news feed. No likes. No comments. Nothing. That sort of defeats the purpose of wanting to only see their posts. Next, I worked through all my friends’ walls to like and comment on things I found interesting much like I would have as if the posts had appeared on my news feed. Facebook took my actions to indicate I enjoyed following those friends and shortly thereafter, my news feed once again became a hodgepodge of nonsense. You got it. Facebook enabled the “Follow” button for my friends’ activities and thought I’d appreciate knowing what my friends commented on and liked. I was back to the very beginning.

For several days, I worked through the problem trying various combinations of “Follow” button and “Acquaintance” status changes as a way to achieve my goal of bringing back the old news feed. Nothing worked. No matter what I did, Facebook wanted to show me what my friends were doing through their kitchen windows as opposed to admiring their rose gardens out front.

Then, in the middle of dinner one night, a bright idea hit me. I say a bright idea because it was as if someone had flipped the switch in my brain and I could finally see the answer in front of me.

Lists. Yep. Lists.

Apparently, if I add all my friends to a list I can see their posts just like the good ol’ days. Well, guess what I did? Yep, I added all my friends to a list and I’m back to the way I like it—admiring the rose gardens at the front of my friends’ homes.

Facebook makes sense again.

Do I regret not going to my news feed to check out what my friends are commenting on and liking? Not really. I just want to know what they want me to know, not what Facebook thinks I should know.

Have you had a similar experience with Facebook? What have you done about it? What is your experience with using Facebook? Do you like it?

Wednesday Warriors

Jordan Belfort

Posted on July 22, 2015July 21, 2015 by Jack Flacco

A lot of folks are not going to like today’s Wednesday Warriors feature. If anything, a lot of folks are going to hate it. To be honest, I wouldn’t be writing this if I hadn’t seen something in Jordan Belfort, the main character in Martin Scorsese‘s The Wolf of Wall Street, that merited a closer look.

I’m going to cut to the chase and talk about the elephant in the room. It’s there, it’s sitting on the couch, and no one wants to say a word about the thing but someone needs to say something about it. It is my opinion that the character Jordan Belfort portrayed in the film by Leonardo DiCaprio is a misogynistic narcissist. The Stratton Oakmont founder thinks of no one else but himself and hates anyone who would dare get in the way of his success. As documented in the film, when Steve Madden tries to double-cross Belfort, Belfort retaliates by dumping Madden’s stock for pennies.

Not a flattering intro, but there’s more to dislike about this character. In the 180 minutes this film runs, I lost count of how many Quaaludes Belfort pops to keep him primed and juiced for his deal-making sessions. He goes so far as to descend into a ‘lude induced bender. Fortunately, the only victim to the incident is his very expensive sports car. In his own words:

It doesn’t stop there. Belfort’s exploits with women places him in the same league as the Roman emperor Caligula. As depicted in the film, he uses and abuses women for his own pleasure, leaving them for others.

To top it off, he preys on the greed and fear of others to sell them shares of worthless companies in one of the biggest pump-and-dump scams in U.S. history. He doesn’t fear justice. He doesn’t fear death. Moreover, he certainly makes Wall Street‘s Gordon Gekko proud.

Why then would I even consider placing a spotlight on Jordan Belfort?

Because of this one scene in the film featuring him and his best friend Donnie Azoff:

Watching the scene through once, I didn’t catch the nuances. Only after watching the film again, did they become clearer. Here’s a guy who was living at the top of his game, doing drugs, sleeping with a treasure trove of women, had access to enormous amounts of cash that he could fill several Olympic-sized pools with, but after getting caught he was really trying to overcome the temptations that put him into this mess in the first place. The line, “I know, but I don’t drink, remember? I don’t drink anymore?” hints on an element of remorse for all he had done in the past. He is trying his best to stay sober and focused. And like the majority of those fighting addiction, he confesses he can’t stand the withdrawal and much rather kill himself instead.

He’s trying, and that’s what I took away from the film The Wolf of Wall Street. If a guy like Jordan Belfort can put in the effort to overcome his greatest urges, what’s to say anyone else can’t do the same?

On that note, I have one more thing to say: “Sell me this pen.”

Have you seen The Wolf of Wall Street? What do you think of Jordan Belfort?

Monday Mayhem

Do Zombies Poop?

Posted on July 20, 2015August 3, 2015 by Jack Flacco

When I write about something, I try to find an angle to the story. Although I may have an idea, and it may be a good idea, I won’t write about it until I discover the hook. When it comes to zombies, as much as I enjoy the genre, the hook may not be so obvious. The reason for this stems from the fact that the genre has a number of mysteries I have yet to answer. I’m sure someone out there has the answer, but I don’t.

Today’s Monday Mayhem feature will concentrate on describing what three of those mysteries are.

Do Zombies Die?—I’ll have to admit I haven’t watched or read all the zombie stories out there. Yes, I also feel it is a travesty. Other than Warm Bodies, where, after some time, the zombies become Boneys, and in The Walking Dead, where the zombies show signs of aging, no stories of which I am familiar address this age-old question. What happens to the undead? Do they simply shrivel into a fetal position and drool their life away? Or do they rot until there’s nothing left? I don’t have an answer.

Do Zombies Sleep?—One of the lingering questions that has gnawed at my bones, no pun intended, is do zombies take time to have a regular siesta? In the last act of the film World War Z, the zombies stand in one position not really doing much of anything other than staring into the distance. They jerk around, but still, they are awake. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a zombie sleep in either a film or any other story. Why not? Don’t they tire chasing after people? The way I look at it is they don’t need sleep. Sleep regenerates cells, repairs internal damage from ordinary use and refreshes the brain in order for the mind to stay sharp and focused. I think zombies have passed the point of staying sharp. I could be wrong, though. What do you think?

Do Zombies Poop?—This, to me, is the biggest mystery of them all. With the amount of meat zombies consume, one would assume they digest and eliminate much like their human counterparts. But that would fly in the face of logic. If the undead are indeed undead, their digestive tracts would not function, their bowel muscles would certainly not work as well. So what’s the answer? Are we the audience to believe zombies can eat a whole man and not push him out the other end? What happens to the material the undead ingests? My theory? I think it piles in their stomach and comes out without digestion. My rule of thumb? Gravity rules.

That’s all I have for now. If I haven’t written about a mystery you feel needs addressing, go ahead and add it. I’m sure I will write a Part II to this discussion one day.

What great zombie mystery do you find unsettling? Have you yet found a reasonable explanation?

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