Autumn is my favorite time of year. I know, it is weird talking about fall in the middle of summer, but if you’ll amuse me for a moment, you’ll see where I’m going with this. Besides, I’m strange that way. I was the guy talking about summer vacation while it was still snowing outside. And believe me, being Canadian, although we do get quite a lot of snow, we don’t receive half as much as some of the places in the States. Anyway, let’s talk about autumn for Freedom Friday.
Small Town in Ontario, Canada
I like autumn. Yes, we’ve established that. I like it because of a few reasons. In Canada, we celebrate Thanksgiving a month prior to our American counterparts. So when we’re carving up our turkey, filling our gut with tryptophan, that’s the stuff that makes you sleepy after a turkey dinner, south of the border it’s business as usual. I suppose the reason for this stems from the fact our autumns come earlier. Yet, when I look at some of the northern states, they just as equally have fall around the same time. Therefore, I’m in a bit of a quandary as to rationalize why either we Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving early or Americans celebrate it late. Don’t ask me to google it, ‘cause I’m not going to. If you know, tell me!
All right, back to this autumn and Thanksgiving bit. I enjoy our Thanksgivings here in Canada because the leaves have all changed colors and haven’t dropped to the ground yet. It makes for a perfect opportunity to take some pretty awesome shots.
Now, where I live, I’m in the middle of farm country. We have plenty of cornfields, and tons of cows, horses, sheep and any other farm animals you can probably imagine. No, not velociraptors. Well, other than Halloween. The best part? We have a vast swath of woods to discover. I have been to maybe a tenth of what my area has to offer. The rest lays dormant for me to explore.
Farm Country, Ontario, Canada
What else? I love autumn because it’s not too hot and it’s definitely not too cold. I need a jacket in the mornings, but I can shed it by early afternoon. Also, it’s the rainy season, and if you’ve read my blog long enough you will know just how much I love the rain. I relish the water beating down on freshly cut grass. The smell is intoxicating. Ah, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
My most beloved time is that sweet moment when the leaves begin to fall and the rain has yet to dampen them to a brown hue. The crackling sound under my feet drives me to want to dive into a newly raked pile.
The Woods, Ontario, Canada
In that time, one single moment exists I cannot resist. Late in the evening, when the wind tosses and churns the leaves into the neighbor’s yard and I stand there under a street lamp right before it begins to rain. I can feel it. That eerie feeling when everything’s about to erupt into thunder, and the lightening takes over the skies. My nostrils fill with the smell of moss. My ears hear the breeze wafting over my shoulder.
And then—it rains. Like a symphony.
I dash into the house and the skies explode as a choir of angels heralding the second coming. It’s beautiful. It’s spectacular.
Now do you see why I love autumn?
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
Do you like autumn weather? Is it strange talking about the fall when we’re still in the midst of summer fun?
Hard to believe it’s been seventeen years since the movie The Craft came out. For all my young readers who may have missed watching this spectacle, it presents another view of what a witches’ coven really is. I’m dedicating this Women Who Wow Wednesday to Sarah Bailey, the natural witch from the film.
Robin Tunney as Sarah Bailey (Photo Credit: movpins.com)
A couple of years after the release of The Craft, City, Toronto’s premier local movie station at the time, broadcasted this film almost every month for a couple of years. It was something to behold considering there were a lot more entertaining movies to watch such as Armageddon and Bad Boys. Yet, I’m theorizing because a large contingent of teenage girls had the unquenchable desire to meet Leonardo DiCaprio from Titanic, they’d do anything to get close to the star, including casting spells.
I have to admit though, I became hooked with the movie pretty early on before it became a success on City.
Let’s get to the goods, shall we?
Sarah Bailey (Robin Tunney) moves into a new city and joins a witches’ coven. Sound familiar? Well, we’ll leave the Twilight references out of this post for now. Let’s backtrack. Sarah’s new school features a diverse clique of girls. The popular girls take one look at Sarah and label her an introvert. On more than one occasion, they make her the butt of all of their jokes. A boy, who she thought had a thing for her, spread the rumor she was easy after a night of abstinence with the lad.
That’s when Nancy (Fairuza Balk), Bonnie (Neve Campbell) and Rochelle (Rachel True) enter the picture. They’re dressed in black, have all sorts of weird stuff going on with them and, oh, yes, they’re witches. They want Sarah. Bonnie noticed her balancing a pencil on its tip in French class–without hands. Naturally, they’re not going to let this opportunity pass. Besides, they need a fourth witch to complete the circle and call the corners. You know, north, south, east, west? The corners. Of course let’s not forget the elements, too. Earth, wind, fire, water. They can’t call the corners without a fourth member in their coven.
Sarah Bailey
Sarah accepts. But little does she know what she’s getting herself into. The magical incantations they perform in the beginning are nothing short of sideshow magic tricks. Silly things like levitation, changing the color of one’s hair, etc. Small stuff, really. It’s only after they summon the corners that things turn creepy.
I don’t want to spoil it, I’m only going to say the lesson in the movie is to be careful what you ask for, it always comes back to you three times over. What goes out comes back to you in threefold. That’s a massive lesson to grasp there for those ever wanting to curse anyone in life. In the movie, Karma is deadly.
Back to Sarah. From a shy, insecure teenager, Sarah becomes a force of reckoning. Not only does she prove herself vulnerable and weak during the tough times, she’s a girl who has that underlying strength to conquer all during the worst of times.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
Have you seen The Craft? What did you think of Sarah Bailey? If you ever wanted one power in your life, what would it be?
The best things in life are free, or so goes the saying. But what if the best things in life are found in the small thirty second blurb called a commercial? Then what? It kind of skews a person’s perception, don’t you think? By their very nature, commercials are supposed to change a person’s perception. So if a commercial should happen to have zombies in it, what would be our opinion of the product? For today’s Monday Mayhem post, let’s have a look at what advertisers are doing with zombies to get you to like their product.
Run For Your Lives (Photo Credit: Reed Street Production)
It’s been a few years now that I’ve notice zombies infiltrating commercials. I roar with laughter when I see those undead meanies take it on the chin when a company promotes their products. Sometimes the ads are smart, making the zombies look realistic and fit for a good beating. Sometimes, of course, the undead don’t look so hot and the producers are the ones who deserve the beating. In any case, whenever those maggot bags do make their appearance in a new ad, I’m anxiously watching the TV wondering what the advertisers have planned for me.
Below are a few of the absolute best zombie commercials available on YouTube. At one point, these ads were on TV, making their rounds, hocking their goods for the companies. Now, they are reminders of how inventive some ad wizards were with their campaign to grab our attention.
Disclaimer: I’m not an affiliate with any of these companies nor do I condone any of the products advertised. I’m simply highlighting quality ads with zombies in them. I’m also not linking to them. However, it doesn’t take a mathematician or a genius scientist to figure out how to find these gems. In fact, there’s your challenge—if you find all six, you win! What do you win? A sense of accomplishment. What did you think I was going to say, a brand new car? I don’t think so.
Doritos: Zombie Party Commercial—Comedy at its best. Zombies arrive at a house party with a pretty blonde as their host. She munches on Doritos all the while entertaining guests. Apparently, her mouth stuffed with the desirable snack causes her to talk zombie, saying things like, “Looks like you work out.” That is until we can plainly discern “that’s what she said” to a stoic undead audience. She clogs her pipes with the chips and once again says the line, this time mumbling. They all laugh.
Zombie Party (Photo Credit: Frito-Lay)
BMW Commercial Zombie—Another good one. In the still of the night, a limping woman hops to escape from a pack of marauding zombies. She falls into a fetal position waiting for fate to takes its course. It isn’t until she realizes she’s still alive that the zombies have another thing on their mind. She sees them admiring a gorgeous BMW. Of course this does not sit well with her. What girl wants to play second fiddle to a car? Attempting to get their attention, she huffs, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. No use, the undead are mesmerized. Fade to the BMW symbol on black.
Zombie Escape / Ford Canada—Guy runs around the corner of a container in a shipping yard to spot his car. He unlocks the door on his remote and makes a run for it while a zombie chews on leftovers of who knows what. He hops into his car. Safe. Or at least he thinks. Inside, zombies surround him. Great makeup, by the way. What to do? He distracts them opening the automatic sunroof, of course. As they’re busy looking into the sky, he escapes to face another rotting corpse heading his way. Slowly heading his way. I wonder why he just doesn’t run. Anyway, he pops the back of the hatch with his foot. Motion sensor, no less. Another distraction. But he has more trouble on the horizon. A crew of zombies drag toward him. He hops back in the car. I guess it’s far better staying with the devil you know than the devil you don’t know. The light bulb flashes above his head. He pops the hood, cranks the tunes and escapes into the sunset while the zombies dance to the rhythm of house music.
Zombies: The Ramifications of Yes (Official Toshiba Commercial)—This is an interesting one. Bigwig executive with the Toshiba development team ponders on the new line of laptops. Images fly through his head of an electrician dropping the equipment, then plugging it into the main electrical grid, which shorts out the system, which in turn causes a kid to drink stale milk from a broken fridge, which causes the kid to bite his roommate, which then causes a zombie apocalypse. Mr. Executive says no, telling off the development team to get their act together and make better equipment. A fun watch for its absolute ridiculousness.
After drinking spoiled milk (Photo Credit: Toshiba)
XXL all sports united vs Zombies—Good gosh, this is a fun watch! Okay, so it starts with a typical suburban neighborhood, you know, woman trimming the rose bushes, man watering the lawn. It quickly escalates from there. Junior riding his scooter darts from a mess load of zombies chasing after him. But it doesn’t end there. The ugly worm-infested beasts are everywhere, crashing through fences, scaring the crap out of sunbathers. Not even the cops are safe. And this is where it gets wild. The zombies have acquired a school bus to which they’ve scale the top and propel golf balls from its surface. Yep, you heard that right. These zombies are sports freaks. As you can imagine the mayhem when zombies gain possession of golf clubs, it becomes a regular party. Until, well, until the people stand their ground with other sporting equipment in hand, tossing the jettisoning golf balls with tennis rackets and maiming the zombies where it counts. Whatever happens to Junior? Oh, he leads the zombies to a stadium where a whole crew of humans outfitted with all sorts of sporting equipment charges the hoard ala William Wallace frenzy. Superb is all I can say.
Run For Your Lives (Official)—This has to be one of the coolest videos. Athletic or not, this is one of those events everyone should participate once in their lifetime. It starts with a mellow soundtrack, a shot of the participants behind a cage, the ribbons. Then we move on to the zombies and their disturbed looks in their eyes and their rotting jowls. The 5K race begins. People sprint, zombies chase. Makes for a great story. Slow motion is awesome for these kinds of shots. John Woo, eat your heart out. On second thought, a zombie could do that. Nevertheless, folks dive through puddles, mud flies everywhere, everybody’s having a grand ol’ time. Shots of the participants smiling fill the screen. Did I say slow motion is awesome? It ends with a massive party, dancing and celebrating the day’s activities. Oh, so good.
I had two more ads to write up, but I think six is enough. After reading my descriptions, you may not need to watch the commercials anyway. Enjoy the hunt!
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
How many of these have you seen? Which one is your favorite?
I wrote my first stream of consciousness post with no planning other than randomly choosing the Rocky quote I had used as a springboard for ideas. Today, for my Freedom Friday series, I’d like to try my hand on an additional post armed with nothing but a quote and no idea what will come out.
Again, to reiterate a couple of things from my first post, I write about zombies. It doesn’t mean I am a zombie nor does it mean I’m obsessed with death, although in the movie I’d taken the quote from, the main protagonist is. I enjoy life and living as abundant as I can without interfering with other people’s happiness. It sounds insane but it’s true. Also, the way stream of consciousness works is whatever comes to mind is what stays on the page. No editing. It’s a snapshot of my brain.
Now, I’ve been meaning to use this quote for a while. The opportunity, though, has never presented itself. It’s from the 1971 movie Harold and Maude about the relationship between a teenage boy obsessed with death and a septuagenarian woman living life to the fullest.
Anyway, I don’t want to say anymore. Here is the quote:
Harold and Maude
“A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They’re just backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt, even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.”
—Ruth Gordon as Maude in Harold and Maude
Big breath. Here we go:
Lions roar not to defend their territory or because they’re hungry, but to say, “I’m alive!” Their heart beats. Their hide is warm. Every single cell at their disposal goes into that roar. “I’m alive!”
We live each day thinking we have all the time in the world, not realizing that one day we’ll be gone. Our grievances hold us back. Our doubts shroud us in darkness. Yet, it’s never too late to press onward and upward.
I’ve failed. So what, everyone’s failed. I’m afraid. So what, everyone’s afraid. I can’t. Everyone can.
Whatever is holding us back, we have to let it go. If we don’t, we’ll die—eaten away by our own miserable wants.
No one ever said life was easy. It’s not. Life is hard. Life is disappointing. We could have all the money and success in the world, yet without happiness it’s all for naught. If someone says to us they’re happy because of such-and-such or so-and-so, don’t believe them. They are lying. Happiness does not come from without, but from within. Success is a byproduct of happiness.
Glory comes to those who don’t look for it. Beauty surrounds those who are the outcasts. Joy lives in those who have dedicated their lives to the weak.
Allow your words to travel as a whirlwind into the ears of the deaf. As lightening cracks, so let your life shine to those in darkness. As thunder rumbles, move others to action. Live each day with conviction, giving life to those who are dead in spirit. Let the earth shake beneath your feet causing others to stir from their seats.
Roar like a lion. “I’m alive!”
Did my stream of consciousness session make any sense? Should I think about preparing a number III?
When I hear people say, “Oh, she’s only a cheerleader.” I say, “Yeah, can you perform a front handspring, step out, round off back handspring, step out, round off back handspring, full twisting layout?” That’s when the glazed look falls on their face. Torrance can. I wouldn’t have her performing full twisting layouts on Women Who Wow Wednesday otherwise.
Kirsten Dunst as Torrance Shipman
Torrance Shipman (Kirsten Dunst) is up for captain of the Rancho Carne High School cheerleading squad in San Diego, California. We’re talking about the premier five-time national champions. Big Red, the current leader, is retiring. After a quick vote, Torrance clinches control and her first order of business is to assert her ascent to the throne. The dreaded words Wolf Wall fly from her mouth and everyone groans. Up they go, building one of the most fearsome pyramids in cheerleading. A few failed attempts doesn’t deter Torrance. She wants it. One last time and they make it, but in the air, the squad swivels, tilts, and shakes until Carver, their lead cheerleader, slips to her demise.
Les: You know, everyone’s saying that your ambition broke Carver’s leg. Torrance Shipman: When really it was the angle in which she slammed into the ground.
Nothing will hold Torrance back from achieving a sixth national win.
Bring It On’s Torrance Shipman
Bring It On is one of those movies that doesn’t have much of a plot, but it sure has a lot of heart. Spawning four sequels, whenever I need a good jolt of can-do attitude, I pop this into my player, sit back and let the positive vibes fill my soul.
Without giving too much away, Torrance’s challenge is keeping the team together after Big Red’s departure. This means quashing the rebellious takeover plans of two of the Rancho Carne Toros’ wannabe bosses and keeping everyone happy after a major revelation nearly disintegrates their chances at the Nationals.
Did you know that cheerleading accounts for almost two-thirds of all catastrophic sports injuries among high school girls? Imagine the enormous pressure on Torrance’s shoulders after Carver’s accident. Any ordinary person would have said buh-bye. Not Torrance.
Among the best attributes in Torrance’s character is her unwillingness to quit. No matter what gets in her way, she seems to thrive on overcoming obstacles. Her determination of wanting to remain the best causes her team to rise to new challenges, explore new ideas, and work harder than ever in order to attain perfection. She’s not one to take it in the chin and lie down. She a fighter. And fighters tend to go the distance, even if they are cheerleaders.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
Have you seen Bring It On? What did you think of Torrance? Did you like how she led the team in spite of the failures?
I love action movies, and now that World War Z has proven the undead belong in Hollywood A-list films, I’m excited to see where the next crop of fast zombies will appear. However, the beasts shouldn’t show up just anywhere. Producers and directors should think about expanding the zombie universe by perhaps including these creatures in remakes of multi-million dollar hits. Yes, it’s a stretch, but imagine what fun it could be.
Below are three movies I think would be interesting to watch as remakes with a zombie twist. No one can say no one has ever thought of this. Let’s have some fun!
Jurassic Zombieland—In a remote island off the coast of Costa Rica, the government is conducting experiments in dinosaur cloning. Preliminary successes yielded the birth of Triceratops, Apatosaurus and the formidable Tyrannosaurus Rex. But something goes horribly wrong. Human DNA accidentally creeps into a Velociraptor gene pool and the next batch of clones pops out as stillborns, half-dinosaur and half-human. Before scientists could purge the dead batch, the legion of Zombiesaurus spring to life, eat the humans then battle for island supremacy against the other dinosaurs. Who wouldn’t want to visit this as a theme park?
Star Wars: Attack of the Zombies—A virus is taking hold of the planet Naboo rendering all Gungans as zombies. When Gungan Ambassador Jar Jar Binks appears before the Galactic Senate, unaware he’s a carrier of the dreaded disease, he infects half of the senators. Palpatine, whose clear ambition is to wrestle control from the senate in order to become all-encompassing ruler, requests aid from the Jedi to eradicate the Gungans. While the Jedi are away, he proclaims himself emperor and uses the virus as grounds to destroy the senate with his newly formed clone army. All would have gone according to plan except for one thing—Palpatine himself turns into a zombie.
Indiana Jones zombified by MK Luis
Zombies of the Lost Ark—On an archeological expedition to unearth the ark of the covenant, Indiana Jones travels to Egypt where he encounters an army of the undead ravaging Cairo. Unbeknownst to Indy, the golden idol he had stolen weeks before from a temple in South America carried with it a curse. Whoever possesses the idol ten days after its removal from the temple would have a zombie plague unleashed on him and all those in his charge. Indy’s arch nemesis, René Belloq, has fallen under that plague, and now is wreaking havoc throughout the Middle East. Will Jones find the Ark in time before the great apocalypse spreads further?
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
Do you have any other movies you’d like to see zombified? How do you like the idea of E.T. as a zombie?
I grew up in the Eighties when the kids wore bright pastel colors, listened to music that had a happy vibe, and the girls wore outfits with shoulder pads as the de facto fashion statement. Our hair was tall and our walk was light. We didn’t have to worry about texting, messaging, blogging, skyping, tweeting, facebooking or pinning. We led simple lives and had simple dreams. I didn’t have Freedom Friday to write about this.
The Police
If we wanted to talk with anyone, we’d call them on the phone, land lines no less. If we wanted to have a more substantial conversation, we’d meet for coffee, sometimes until two or three in the morning. Our yes was yes and our no was no. Our principles meant something.
There was also an unwritten rule: take a penny, leave a penny. If you worked in a gas station in Canada, you already know what I mean. A little tray sat on the counter next to the register, sometimes empty, sometimes filled. If you needed a penny, you simply take one from the tray. If you had one or two to dump, place them in the tray. Some gas stations still have them to this day.
Our Christmases were easy to digest. There were no iPods, iPads, tablets, Kindles or Kobos. We’d received books, cassettes, CDs for gifts. The most we’d splurge on was the Sony Walkman. Tops.
Buying books cost a small fortune at the time. Luckily, I worked in a library giving me the ability to read newly released books for free.
We purchased our music on cassette tapes. If we really liked the album, we’d purchase it as a special edition chrome or metal tape. Many of my friends made a fuss over the quality of normal and chrome bias tapes. I could never hear the difference. Besides, LPs sounded better.
We wore baggy pants at the thighs with belt buckles that nearly covered our belly buttons. Our shoes were practical, designed to slip off easily.
Everything was expensive. For a student, it took so much to save for anything, but when we finally purchased it, we appreciated it more. At least the movies were cheap. Four people could go to a matinee for under twenty dollars. Unbelievable, isn’t it?
I suppose the best part about the Eighties was knowing we had our whole life ahead of us. Not much different from what it is today for those growing up.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale October 22.
If you lived through the Eighties, what is your favorite part?
Looking to God 