Posted in Monday Mayhem

The Crazies

The Crazies is one of those movies that stick with you. Having written a short summary in a previous post, I decided to expand on that summary and give you the real deal. And, since it is Monday Mayhem, what better way to continue the series than with this great movie?

I’ll leave the reviewers to review the movie. I’d rather spend time talking about the film’s fascinating nuances.

The Crazies Movie Poster
The Crazies Movie Poster

Not your typical brain-bashing, gut-chomping zombie movie, The Crazies is an interesting study for a number of reasons. The first thing the audience realizes is the contagion does not come from a virus. The classic zombie infection is the usual virus that gets spread by a bite. Then, humans become their own worst enemies and tear at each other in a cannibalistic frenzy. Not in this story. Remember that saying, when traveling don’t drink the water? If any time that applied, it applies here. The water made the people all crazy. There’s a reason for that, but I won’t get into it.

This is a mind-blowing concept. If anything is true about humanity, it’s that we need food and water for sustenance. If anyone or anything messes with our fuel, we become different people. Anyone can prove this by giving kids sugar. What do they do? They bounce off the walls. Add those same sugars to the foods they eat and what happens? Yeah, they bounce off the walls. The film highlights the fine balance humanity possesses with their life source. Any tinkering with it will jumpstart a catastrophic chain of events that will render society at the mercy of the toxin.

Welcome to Ogden Marsh
Welcome to Ogden Marsh

Another point the movie makes, which some may construe as a sensitive topic, is the government’s involvement with mind control. I say a sensitive topic because in some respect, some may feel we’re already under that control (the foods we eat, the entertainment we consume—but that’s another post for another day). In the movie, as the townsfolk ingest the water supply, an all-seeing eye high above the clouds appraises the situation. The audience gets the government’s perspective on the matter, as it escalates to worse and worse levels by the hour.

You see, what the government wanted to know is just how far and how fast would the contagion spread if released in a controlled environment—a town. I won’t reveal anymore of the movie’s plot because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone wanting to watch it. But I will say this: How far along are we in replicating the movie’s plot when last year, the papers reported of those zombie attacks in Miami and the authorities blamed them on bath salts? Sounds far-fetched, right? The film made it clear: control’s an illusion that soon would destroy those who think they can tame it.

The Road Sign
The Road Sign

The final point the movie made in a less than overt way, is appearances can be deceiving. The zombies in this movie are different. Make no mistake, they are zombies. And therein lies the rub. What the audience expects as the traditional zombie appearance, the movie turns on its head. They do not have rotting flesh. They are not dead. They talk.

However, they have no control over their actions. They have a dead stare. And they have evil in their hearts, which spills into the horror they administer to those who have not changed.

Have you seen The Crazies? If so, what did you think of it? Have you heard of the Miami zombies? Do you know of any other movies that portray townsfolk as zombies? Go ahead and throw in your comment—I don’t bite.

Posted in Monday Mayhem

Zombie Kill of the Week

Welcome to another edition of Monday Mayhem where zombies rule and aliens invade. If you’re interested in finding out more about Monday Mayhem, you can simply click on the link in the Features panel for a complete list of posts included in the series.

Today I’d like to focus on zombie kills. Not so much how zombies kill, but how creative I’ve seen zombies get killed in various movies.

Zombieland
Zombieland

For instance, Zombieland. Does this movie ever go away? It’s hard to believe it’s been four years. One of my favorite scenes involves the Zombie Kill of the Week award given to those who exemplify pure creativity with the killing of the undead. A white-haired woman runs around a corner heading to the entrance of what seems to be a church. A quick-pace zombie follows. She pulls a handled-rope, much like the ones seen in those old movies featuring a toilet with a chain for flushing. She then disappears into the building. When the zombie finally shows up at the door, a piano falls on it. That’s the end of the zombie, thus earning the woman the Zombie Kill of the Week.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

How about Shaun of the Dead? This movie gets funnier with every viewing. Shaun and Ed (played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, respectively) battle two zombies that don’t quite know when to give up. The scene starts in the house where the zombies burst through the window. The action then moves to the backyard where the desperate duo throws all manner of kitchen utensils at the approaching creatures, including a toaster. Nothing works, except some hope appears when Ed throws a vinyl record at one of them, maiming the beast. The idea bulb illuminates and they return to the backyard with Shaun’s record collection. As the zombies maintain their approach, the boys argue about which records they should throw.

Ed: ‘Purple Rain‘?
Shaun: No.
Ed: ‘Sign o’ the Times‘?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The ‘Batman‘ soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: ‘Dire Straits‘?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, ‘Stone Roses‘.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: ‘Second Coming‘.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! ‘Sade‘.
Shaun: Yeah, but that’s Liz’s!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
Shaun: Oh!

When that doesn’t work, Shaun rams the door to the shed, grabbing a cricket bat. Ed arms himself with a shovel. They then let the zombies have it in a furious series of blows delivered off-camera. The next scene resolves the confrontation with the boys sitting on a couch contemplating on what just happened while they indulge in a hot drink and a caramel cone for dessert.

I can keep going with Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead, Pet Semetary, and Ghosts of Mars, describing multiple scenes of zombie carnage. But I’d rather write my own list of things I’d like to see happen to the undead in the event of a zombie apocalypse. By the way, I slipped in Ghosts of Mars because a) the movie contains an element of zombieism (is that a word?) and b) John Carpenter wrote and directed the project.

So, without further wait, here is my top ten list of Zombie Kills of the Week. I ordered them from least to greatest, placing emphasis on the most outrageous kill as the last item on the list.

  1. Shooting a zombie in the head
  2. Spraying kerosene over a zombie and setting it alight
  3. Throwing a zombie off a cliff, watching the impact crack its skull
  4. Smashing a zombie’s head with a crowbar until everything’s covered in goo
  5. Jamming a screwdriver into a zombie’s temple until it collapses
  6. Decapitating a zombie with a souvenir confederate sword from the American civil war
  7. Strapping a zombie into a car and ramming it into a brick wall
  8. Driving an ice pick through the zombie’s mouth, severing its spinal cord, thereby rendering it dead
  9. Clamping a zombie’s head in a paint mixer, watching it spin
  10. Running over a zombie until every ounce of unholy breath expels from its maggot-filled lungs

Can you think of any others? Do you have a favorite zombie movie kill you’d like to share? Go ahead and write it in the comments. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Posted in Monday Mayhem

Aliens, Aliens, Aliens!

Welcome back to Monday Mayhem where I talk about Armageddon at a grand scale—even though I might embellish as I go along. If you would like to view the rest of the Monday Mayhem posts in the series, you can click on the Monday Mayhem link at the top of this post.

Aliens, Aliens, Aliens!
Aliens, Aliens, Aliens!

With that out of the way, let’s talk aliens. Strange topic considering most of my posts I’d written have been about zombies. But aliens come a close second when dealing with the end-of-days, post-apocalyptic nightmare. How many alien movies has Hollywood produced where the creatures have beamed to Earth with the intention of taking over the world? Every summer there’s another one of these movies stomping the theaters. The Avengers was the latest that’d come out this summer.

Let’s look at some of the best alien invasion movies to hit the box office—their creatures and their attitude toward the human race. I always enjoy a good alien romp, so this is a great refresher for me. This post also serves as a sounding board to express my love for the genre.

Independence Day
Independence Day

Who can deny the success of the movie Independence Day? Will Smith starred as a pilot who took it upon himself to defeat the alien invasion. How cool is that? As with the majority of all alien movies, the invasion took place with massive ships hovering over the cities of our beautiful, blue marble. As in the movie Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace stated:

“A communications disruption could mean only one thing: invasion.”

The eventual purpose of their visit became clear. They wanted to deal destruction to the main hubs thereby maximizing the death toll. Clever. We should have known. Although their ships were huge, these aliens were not very smart. The heart of their ships gave away their weakness and led to their eventual destruction.

War of the Worlds
War of the Worlds

The aliens in the movie War of the Worlds never showed their face. Their ships however trampled all over Earth, spraying a death beam across the land, devouring everything in their path. Shaped as tripods, the government had thought the ships as impregnable. No matter what the army did, the aliens won every battle, obliterating tanks in the wake of its destruction. Then, when all hope was lost and it seemed as if the aliens had won the war, a common virus took hold, annihilating them. Both the 1953 and 2005 versions are worth noting since they differ in story.

Signs
Signs

M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs had a unique feel for an alien invasion movie. Much of what transpired with the takeover came via news reports and eyewitness accounts. The audience didn’t see the aliens until the end of the movie. A sad strategy for some moviegoers, but for the rest of us, we enjoyed the unfolding. There’s something to say about a movie when the audience lacks the visuals only to rely on their imagination to get scared. Alfred Hitchock did it all the time. Remember Psycho?

On a lighter note, Mars Attacks! and Men in Black have to be the funniest movies in the alien invasion genre. Lumped together, they make for a great double feature on a lonely, autumn night.

Mars Attacks!
Mars Attacks!

Mars Attacks!, in particular, flips the genre upside down. Director Tim Burton takes what other movies have minimized, and exploits the absurd to ridiculous levels. For instance, when the aliens land, and we humans, being who we are, welcome them with open arms—they do nothing but pull ray guns at us, frying us where we stand. It’s fun watching the all-star cast take hit after hit in the most creative way. The audience wonders who will die next.

Men in Black
Men in Black

Barry Sonnenfeld’s Men in Black’s invasion aspect is different. The aliens had already arrived and live among us. A division of black-clad men within the government controls the flow of aliens on earth. With the unfortunate news that an invasion is imminent, or at least the destruction of Earth, the Men in Black race to thwart the impending doom. The comedic aspect of the movie comes in the form of goo-laden scenes where aliens explode at every turn.

Did I miss any? I know I have. Can you tell me what they are? Do you enjoy alien invasion movies? What are some of the things you like about them? I’d love to hear from you.

Posted in Monday Mayhem

Zombies, Zombies, Zombies!

Welcome back to Monday Mayhem. If you haven’t read my intro to the series, you can search for it on my site with the keywords Monday Mayhem or you can click on the Monday Mayhem link at the top of this post. Simple, huh?

Night of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead

Now that the Mayan silliness—ahem—apocalypse is out of the way, let’s talk about something worth talking about: Zooooooombies. Yep, those green critters everyone loves to run away from whenever a biological disaster hits. Zombies. Specifically, let’s talk about what they look like, ‘cause a number of films have interpreted their own versions of the grotesque creatures.

Since I wrote about I Am Legend last week, I thought I’d start with them. According to tradition, zombies are the walking dead. Some call them the undead. They walk back and forth on the earth seeking of whom they may devour. They have a “drag” to their pace. Like this: Step-drag, step-drag-drag, step-drag. Okay, I made that up. Yes, they walk slow. In the movie I Am Legend however, they are speed freaks. They run fast, hit hard and eat with intensity. Some have said they really aren’t zombies at all but vampires, due to their sensitivity to light and their penchant for going for the jugular.

Vampire Extraordinaire, Underworld's Kate Beckinsale
Vampire Extraordinaire, Underworld’s Kate Beckinsale

My thoughts? Vampires turn into vampires when bitten by other vampires. The creatures in this movie become zombies after a medical procedure goes awry (the typical method of zombie propagation).

How about the creatures in other movies? How about the beasts in 28 Days Later, Resident Evil and Dawn of the Dead? Oh, and the TV show The Walking Dead? Well, those are your standard, cookie-cutter zombies. Their flesh hangs off their bones, eyes white, and they possess the trademark drag. Those creatures also maintain their pleasant countenance by walking around with torn, often shredded clothes. Of course, let’s not forget the scabs. They sport various scabs throughout their bodies as a testament to their zombiehood.

Fighting Zombies
Fighting Zombies

You really don’t want me to describe scabs in detail, do you?

Then you have your funny zombies. The zombies you find in Shaun of the Dead for instance. These monsters border on stupidity. Most of the time, they stand around while their food—human—disappears. In one scene, Shaun acts as a tour guide/director giving the hoard directions to follow him, since he is good to eat, all the while helping his friends escape.

And how can we forget Zombieland? Bill Murray plays one of the undead. I’m not getting into the specifics with this movie. It is one of my favorite and it would be a shame if I spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it. Suffice it to say: Watch it.

The Crazies
The Crazies

The last movie I’d like to mention, which may seem odd to describe as a zombie movie, is The Crazies. The beings in this film harbor a mysterious element to their personalities that propels them to behave irrationally. Some critics may not consider them typical zombies in the strictest sense, given they don’t eat flesh, talk, and are not dead. But when faced with one of these blank staring individuals, I assure you, they function as true blood zombies. These are the most interesting of the species. No one knows who they are and the survivors travel with suspicion.

There you have it, a description of the most popular zombies to walk the planet in search of human delicacies.

Did I forget any of them? Have you seen any movie I missed describing the type of zombie? If you have, go ahead and comment. I’m interested in what you have to say.

Posted in Monday Mayhem

Monday Mayhem

I Am LegendWelcome to Monday Mayhem. This is when I delve into the post-apocalyptic madness called the Zombie Apocalypse (a.k.a “The Future”), and give you my take on what life would be like if we as a human race would allow it to happen. Yes, for some of us it may be fictional, but for others…it’s already a reality. Have you been to Las Vegas lately?

In the movie I Am Legend, Will Smith’s character Robert Neville lives alone in a deserted city to fend for a cure to the dratted virus that annihilated humanity. If you haven’t seen the movie, I’d suggest you stop reading ‘cause I may throw in a spoiler or two.

From this point on.

Now.

*spoiler alert!!!*

The thing about the virus that consumed humanity is that scientists engineered it to cure cancer. Yeah, that’s somewhat credible to happen today. No really. In the movie, scientists believed that if they could unleash a biological weapon to destroy cancer cells, they could allow the body to repair itself, eliminating the uncertainty that is happening with today’s methods—and the costs. Unfortunately, it pretty much wipes out all humanity and leaves those who survived, famished zombies.

What I found interesting in the film is when everything falls apart in New York City— why is it New York City always takes the brunt of these end-of-days movie scenarios? (ie. Godzilla, Independence Day, etc.)—the military goes ahead and destroys all the bridges to the island to prevent the infected from escaping. If anyone’s seen The Dark Knight Rises, Bane uses the police to execute a similar strategy to contain the population in Gotham City. Now, this approach as logical as it may seem credible, doesn’t prevent the spread, since the virus crests to become airborne. Once this happens, to put in a cliché, all bets are off.

Thus the creation of the zombies, or rather, the Dark Seekers. Here is a quote from the movie to put the statistics into perspective:

“Seven billion people on Earth when the infection hit. KV had a 90% kill rate, that’s 5.4 billion people dead. Crashed and bled out. Dead. Less than 1% immunity. That left 12 million healthy people, like you, me, and Ethan. The other 588 million turned into your Dark Seekers. And then they got hungry, and they killed and fed on everybody. Everybody!”

*end of spoiler alert*

Yup, quite a future.

East side of stela C, QuiriguaWell, this coming Friday, December 21, 2012, the Mayan calendar ends. Some have gone so far as to say it will be the end of the world. I actually have it written in my Outlook as an event—End of the World. Heck, I don’t want to miss it if it’s going to happen. No way. I’m just wondering how it will happen.

Will it be a virus? Maybe an invasion from another planet. Or perhaps a Great Tribulation as forecasted in the bible.

No one knows. But you can be sure of one thing: If we’re still around next Monday, I’ll bring you another installment of Monday Mayhem. That is, if the internet is still up and running…

What do you think? Do you think humanity is on the road to a Dark Seeker invasion? Or will it be business as usual this coming Friday? I’d love to hear your thoughts.