Jack Flacco

Zombie Kill of the Week

Posted on January 7, 2013January 6, 2013 by Jack Flacco

Welcome to another edition of Monday Mayhem where zombies rule and aliens invade. If you’re interested in finding out more about Monday Mayhem, you can simply click on the link in the Features panel for a complete list of posts included in the series.

Today I’d like to focus on zombie kills. Not so much how zombies kill, but how creative I’ve seen zombies get killed in various movies.

For instance, Zombieland. Does this movie ever go away? It’s hard to believe it’s been four years. One of my favorite scenes involves the Zombie Kill of the Week award given to those who exemplify pure creativity with the killing of the undead. A white-haired woman runs around a corner heading to the entrance of what seems to be a church. A quick-pace zombie follows. She pulls a handled-rope, much like the ones seen in those old movies featuring a toilet with a chain for flushing. She then disappears into the building. When the zombie finally shows up at the door, a piano falls on it. That’s the end of the zombie, thus earning the woman the Zombie Kill of the Week.

How about Shaun of the Dead? This movie gets funnier with every viewing. Shaun and Ed (played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, respectively) battle two zombies that don’t quite know when to give up. The scene starts in the house where the zombies burst through the window. The action then moves to the backyard where the desperate duo throws all manner of kitchen utensils at the approaching creatures, including a toaster. Nothing works, except some hope appears when Ed throws a vinyl record at one of them, maiming the beast. The idea bulb illuminates and they return to the backyard with Shaun’s record collection. As the zombies maintain their approach, the boys argue about which records they should throw.

Ed: ‘Purple Rain‘?
Shaun: No.
Ed: ‘Sign o’ the Times‘?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The ‘Batman‘ soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: ‘Dire Straits‘?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, ‘Stone Roses‘.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: ‘Second Coming‘.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! ‘Sade‘.
Shaun: Yeah, but that’s Liz’s!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
Shaun: Oh!

When that doesn’t work, Shaun rams the door to the shed, grabbing a cricket bat. Ed arms himself with a shovel. They then let the zombies have it in a furious series of blows delivered off-camera. The next scene resolves the confrontation with the boys sitting on a couch contemplating on what just happened while they indulge in a hot drink and a caramel cone for dessert.

I can keep going with Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead, Pet Semetary, and Ghosts of Mars, describing multiple scenes of zombie carnage. But I’d rather write my own list of things I’d like to see happen to the undead in the event of a zombie apocalypse. By the way, I slipped in Ghosts of Mars because a) the movie contains an element of zombieism (is that a word?) and b) John Carpenter wrote and directed the project.

So, without further wait, here is my top ten list of Zombie Kills of the Week. I ordered them from least to greatest, placing emphasis on the most outrageous kill as the last item on the list.

Shooting a zombie in the head
Spraying kerosene over a zombie and setting it alight
Throwing a zombie off a cliff, watching the impact crack its skull
Smashing a zombie’s head with a crowbar until everything’s covered in goo
Jamming a screwdriver into a zombie’s temple until it collapses
Decapitating a zombie with a souvenir confederate sword from the American civil war
Strapping a zombie into a car and ramming it into a brick wall
Driving an ice pick through the zombie’s mouth, severing its spinal cord, thereby rendering it dead
Clamping a zombie’s head in a paint mixer, watching it spin
Running over a zombie until every ounce of unholy breath expels from its maggot-filled lungs

Can you think of any others? Do you have a favorite zombie movie kill you’d like to share? Go ahead and write it in the comments. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Freedom Friday

Today’s Technology

Posted on January 4, 2013December 30, 2012 by Jack Flacco

Here we are again, Freedom Friday. If you’re joining this series for the first time, you can search for all the posts by simply clicking on the Freedom Friday link above this post. For those who need a refresher, I use Freedom Friday to express my views about what’s current, what’s not or anything else that may trickle into this brain of mine at the time of writing.

At this moment, I’m thinking technology. In particular, I’m thinking about how far technology has come from the good ol’ days when a large 27-inch TV and a VCR dominated our entertainment centers. Anyone remember this? For some of us, we had two VCRs—one for recording and one to watch recordings. It made for a simplistic life, but much of what the 80’s had, delved on simplistic.

We cherished those cold, winter evenings when we got back home from work, prepared a warm soup for dinner and plopped on the couch to watch the latest episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Let’s not forget those autumn Tuesday night comedies. How can I forget taping episodes of Home Improvement so I can watch them later. Those episodes always shattered my funny bone for some reason.

So much has changed.

Today, we live as a traveling society. We bring our entertainment with us. We can download any episode of any series we’d like; plop it on our iPods, iPhones, Nexus 7’s, Samsung Galaxy Tab’s, whatever—and we can watch them on the go. Gone are the days where we sit in front of the TV as past generations. The media we consume, at the rate we consume it, is unbelievable to those who’d lived in the VCR age.

Take, for instance, music. I remember a time when I’d recorded my favorite tracks on a cassette tape in a specific order based on how the songs meshed. Then, when I traveled with my Sony Walkman, I could listen to them on the go.

Boy, that no longer happens. At least, I don’t think.

Today, I can carry my entire music library I had carefully culled over the period of decades on my iPod. I have mixtape playlists, compilation playlists and even live playlists (those used when rating songs during my travels).

Insane!

This is what our technology has brought us. We can carry our whole media library anywhere we go and consume it at a bus station, truck stop, library, museum, deli, newsstand, restaurant, friend’s house, wilderness, bus, train, woods, park, walking, hiking, boating, sailing, running, riding, traveling, etc. all in the confines of our realities.

I laugh. How did we do it back in the 80’s?

Anyone else notice how far technology has advanced? Anyone else have the same idea I have with the way we consume our media? What about books? Do you like hardcover books or do you read them on a Kindle or another reader?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Hit-Girl

Posted on January 2, 2013December 30, 2012 by Jack Flacco

Welcome back to Women Who Wow Wednesday where I talk about girls or women who leave a trail of inspiration in the wake of their success. Most of the characters are fictional. If you would like to view the rest of the Women Who Wow Wednesday posts in the series, you can click on the Women Who Wow Wednesday link at the top of this post.

If you haven’t seen the movie Kick-Ass, boy, are you in for a treat. For us Canadians, the opening scene is a gift to those who work downtown. My building faces the building featured in the movie. So whenever I see the film, it reminds me of my daily commute to the city.

That’s not what I want to write about though. I would like to introduce to you Hit-Girl, the star of the movie Kick-Ass. Played by Chloë Grace Moretz, who also played Abby in the scary vampire flick Let Me In (the North American version of the terrifying Norwegian film Let the Right One In), she has the knack to put evil elements in their place. A salty mouth and the propensity for violence, eleven-year-old Hit-Girl takes flack from no one.

You read that right. She’s eleven years old, but she can use a gun like a professional soldier, throw knives like a ninja and take a bullet like a grown man. She has no fear, for fear is weakness. She has a vulnerability to her character only few know about. Let me rephrase that: She allows only a few to see her vulnerabilities. Her mentor Big Daddy, played by Nicholas Cage, taught her everything he knows.

The interesting part about Hit-Girl’s character is not so much that she’s eleven years old, but that she acts older than her age. This may shock the audience watching her antics for the first time. She is not a pushover, that’s for sure. Her hardcore superhero status beams loud and clear. No one should trifle with this girl of dangerous demeanor.

She may have an ally in Kick-Ass (a.k.a. Dave Lizewski played by Englishman Aaron Taylor-Johnson), but her thrill comes with vanquishing villains via her cunning and her deception. The deception being she’s only eleven years old. I think I’d mentioned that, right?

I said this before in other Women Who Wow Wednesday posts, women need characters in movies that empower them to reach their full potential. Hit-Girl may prove to be somewhat hard to digest for those with weak stomachs, but she certainly packs a punch when showcasing ideals for women searching for individuals of empowerment.

Have you seen Kick-Ass? What do you think? Do you think Hit-Girl is another one of Hollywood’s prefab superheroes designed to bring in oodles of cash at the box office? Or is she a force of reckoning for the evils that exist in this world?

Monday Mayhem

Aliens, Aliens, Aliens!

Posted on December 31, 2012May 16, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Welcome back to Monday Mayhem where I talk about Armageddon at a grand scale—even though I might embellish as I go along. If you would like to view the rest of the Monday Mayhem posts in the series, you can click on the Monday Mayhem link at the top of this post.

With that out of the way, let’s talk aliens. Strange topic considering most of my posts I’d written have been about zombies. But aliens come a close second when dealing with the end-of-days, post-apocalyptic nightmare. How many alien movies has Hollywood produced where the creatures have beamed to Earth with the intention of taking over the world? Every summer there’s another one of these movies stomping the theaters. The Avengers was the latest that’d come out this summer.

Let’s look at some of the best alien invasion movies to hit the box office—their creatures and their attitude toward the human race. I always enjoy a good alien romp, so this is a great refresher for me. This post also serves as a sounding board to express my love for the genre.

Who can deny the success of the movie Independence Day? Will Smith starred as a pilot who took it upon himself to defeat the alien invasion. How cool is that? As with the majority of all alien movies, the invasion took place with massive ships hovering over the cities of our beautiful, blue marble. As in the movie Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace stated:

“A communications disruption could mean only one thing: invasion.”

The eventual purpose of their visit became clear. They wanted to deal destruction to the main hubs thereby maximizing the death toll. Clever. We should have known. Although their ships were huge, these aliens were not very smart. The heart of their ships gave away their weakness and led to their eventual destruction.

The aliens in the movie War of the Worlds never showed their face. Their ships however trampled all over Earth, spraying a death beam across the land, devouring everything in their path. Shaped as tripods, the government had thought the ships as impregnable. No matter what the army did, the aliens won every battle, obliterating tanks in the wake of its destruction. Then, when all hope was lost and it seemed as if the aliens had won the war, a common virus took hold, annihilating them. Both the 1953 and 2005 versions are worth noting since they differ in story.

M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs had a unique feel for an alien invasion movie. Much of what transpired with the takeover came via news reports and eyewitness accounts. The audience didn’t see the aliens until the end of the movie. A sad strategy for some moviegoers, but for the rest of us, we enjoyed the unfolding. There’s something to say about a movie when the audience lacks the visuals only to rely on their imagination to get scared. Alfred Hitchock did it all the time. Remember Psycho?

On a lighter note, Mars Attacks! and Men in Black have to be the funniest movies in the alien invasion genre. Lumped together, they make for a great double feature on a lonely, autumn night.

Mars Attacks!, in particular, flips the genre upside down. Director Tim Burton takes what other movies have minimized, and exploits the absurd to ridiculous levels. For instance, when the aliens land, and we humans, being who we are, welcome them with open arms—they do nothing but pull ray guns at us, frying us where we stand. It’s fun watching the all-star cast take hit after hit in the most creative way. The audience wonders who will die next.

Barry Sonnenfeld’s Men in Black’s invasion aspect is different. The aliens had already arrived and live among us. A division of black-clad men within the government controls the flow of aliens on earth. With the unfortunate news that an invasion is imminent, or at least the destruction of Earth, the Men in Black race to thwart the impending doom. The comedic aspect of the movie comes in the form of goo-laden scenes where aliens explode at every turn.

Did I miss any? I know I have. Can you tell me what they are? Do you enjoy alien invasion movies? What are some of the things you like about them? I’d love to hear from you.

Freedom Friday

Snow

Posted on December 28, 2012December 28, 2012 by Jack Flacco

In keeping with the Freedom Friday theme I began last week, where I get to tell you more about what goes through this little head of mine. I want to talk about snow. You heard me the first time. Snow. Although, not the snow you’re thinking of. I’m referring to the snow we may have seen on analog TVs when the cable’s gone out. Some of us may remember blank VHS tapes also featuring this wonderful spectacle of black and white dots.

If you haven’t seen it, then I’m not sure what picture I’ve attached to this post.

Common atmospheric sources for this electromagnetic noise are radio waves from local electronic devices or cosmic microwave background radiation (CMB or CMBR for short). That last point I can only describe as a residual image from an early stage of the universe’s development.

Yeah, the definition freaked me out, too. Anyway, I wondered about this static the other day.

For instance, a couple of prominent movies come to mind featuring snow. The first one is Poltergeist. This is the movie where the little girl watches TV, and all that’s playing is snow. I had to look for it on YouTube to remember how the scene went. A few things happen in regards to her late night viewing of her interesting choice of programming. The girl then turns around and says, the now famous line, “They’re heeere.”

I’m not going to spoil who “they” are.

The other movie is The Ring. If you haven’t seen it, skip this paragraph. It’s about a group of teenagers who find a VHS tape in a cabin in the middle of the woods. They play the tape, which first begins with snow, then after watching it they find in seven days they’re going to die. If you have a soft stomach for this kind of horror flick, I wouldn’t recommend it. But if you love edge-of-your-seat suspense like The Sixth Sense, this movie’s for you.

So, back to what ran through my mind. What if scientists could scoop all this electromagnetic noise, put it back together and recreate a model of the instant the world came to being. Wouldn’t that be something? Of course, not a physical model. A virtual model.

A step further would entail scientists taking that methodology, piecing together the past, and move it to piece together simple molecular structures.

You guys are quick. You know where I’m going with this.

What would stop science from creating a transportation device akin to the transporter featured in Star Trek? It wouldn’t be too far off. I mean, we already have the Kindle/Nexus/Galaxy tablets and cell phones, ideas that originated from the show. Who’s to say the transporter is not next?

Huh, all because of snow.

What do you think? Are we close to Star Trek’s transporter making an appearance this century? Or will we have to wait? I’m interested in what you have to say.

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Wonder Woman

Posted on December 26, 2012December 26, 2012 by Jack Flacco

Welcome back to Women Who Wow Wednesday. If you haven’t read my intro to the series, you can search for it on my site with the keywords Women Who Wow Wednesday or you can click on the Women Who Wow Wednesday link at the top of this post. Simple, huh?

In my last WWW Wednesday post, I wrote about Wonder Woman in passing. Today, I would like to dedicate this post to her.

In the Seventies, Wonder Woman caused quite a stir among young men. Her most awesome costume and her raving beauty captured the imagination of male adolescents everywhere. I grew up in that era. I remember whenever an article about the stunner appeared in a magazine delivered to our home. I would hide it from my folks.

My father could never find the TV Guide that week.

When I look back, I stand by my words—the Wonder Woman of the Seventies stood as a symbol to eye candy. The series had great messages, mind you. To a growing boy, the message couldn’t be any clearer. But the show lacked a little something for women watching it. The message of empowerment. Women needed that message back then, yet TV did not conform to providing any impressionable example.

Fast forward to today. Warner Bros. tapped The Avengers writer Joss Whedon to work on the project sometime ago. He had some outstanding ideas. One of them:

“The whole idea of a woman who is basically more powerful than any man—and who will always be that, and comes from a society of women who are more powerful than men—is an interesting theme that I think can be very contemporary.”

The ideas weren’t enough to make the studio flip the green light.

In addition, Megan Fox, whose name floated around talks as the Amazonian goddess, had dissed the project:

“Wonder Woman is a lame superhero. She flies around in her invisible jet and her weaponry is a lasso that makes you tell the truth. I just don’t get it. Somebody has a big challenge on their hands whoever takes that role but I don’t want to do it.”

Thank goodness for that. I could never see Megan Fox as the statuesque crime fighter. What needs to happen is the studio has to attach a producer such as J.J. Abrams to the project. Then we might actually see a true, contemporary rendition of Wonder Woman. This superhero is much too important to candify again.

To me, Wonder Woman not only stands for truth but also inner strength. She’s the superhero most likened to Superman. She’s also an unblemished superhero. An incorruptible soul. Some call her naïve. I’d prefer to think of her as unpretentious. Her solutions to problems come in the form of truth.

I would love to see Wonder Woman on the big screen. Look how Captain America became such a success.

What about you? Any thoughts about a big screen debut for Wonder Woman? How about if she knew martial arts like Black Widow, would that seem like a good idea? Let me know below.

Monday Mayhem

Zombies, Zombies, Zombies!

Posted on December 24, 2012December 24, 2012 by Jack Flacco

Welcome back to Monday Mayhem. If you haven’t read my intro to the series, you can search for it on my site with the keywords Monday Mayhem or you can click on the Monday Mayhem link at the top of this post. Simple, huh?

Now that the Mayan silliness—ahem—apocalypse is out of the way, let’s talk about something worth talking about: Zooooooombies. Yep, those green critters everyone loves to run away from whenever a biological disaster hits. Zombies. Specifically, let’s talk about what they look like, ‘cause a number of films have interpreted their own versions of the grotesque creatures.

Since I wrote about I Am Legend last week, I thought I’d start with them. According to tradition, zombies are the walking dead. Some call them the undead. They walk back and forth on the earth seeking of whom they may devour. They have a “drag” to their pace. Like this: Step-drag, step-drag-drag, step-drag. Okay, I made that up. Yes, they walk slow. In the movie I Am Legend however, they are speed freaks. They run fast, hit hard and eat with intensity. Some have said they really aren’t zombies at all but vampires, due to their sensitivity to light and their penchant for going for the jugular.

Vampire Extraordinaire, Underworld's Kate Beckinsale — Vampire Extraordinaire, Underworld’s Kate Beckinsale

My thoughts? Vampires turn into vampires when bitten by other vampires. The creatures in this movie become zombies after a medical procedure goes awry (the typical method of zombie propagation).

How about the creatures in other movies? How about the beasts in 28 Days Later, Resident Evil and Dawn of the Dead? Oh, and the TV show The Walking Dead? Well, those are your standard, cookie-cutter zombies. Their flesh hangs off their bones, eyes white, and they possess the trademark drag. Those creatures also maintain their pleasant countenance by walking around with torn, often shredded clothes. Of course, let’s not forget the scabs. They sport various scabs throughout their bodies as a testament to their zombiehood.

You really don’t want me to describe scabs in detail, do you?

Then you have your funny zombies. The zombies you find in Shaun of the Dead for instance. These monsters border on stupidity. Most of the time, they stand around while their food—human—disappears. In one scene, Shaun acts as a tour guide/director giving the hoard directions to follow him, since he is good to eat, all the while helping his friends escape.

And how can we forget Zombieland? Bill Murray plays one of the undead. I’m not getting into the specifics with this movie. It is one of my favorite and it would be a shame if I spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it. Suffice it to say: Watch it.

The last movie I’d like to mention, which may seem odd to describe as a zombie movie, is The Crazies. The beings in this film harbor a mysterious element to their personalities that propels them to behave irrationally. Some critics may not consider them typical zombies in the strictest sense, given they don’t eat flesh, talk, and are not dead. But when faced with one of these blank staring individuals, I assure you, they function as true blood zombies. These are the most interesting of the species. No one knows who they are and the survivors travel with suspicion.

There you have it, a description of the most popular zombies to walk the planet in search of human delicacies.

Did I forget any of them? Have you seen any movie I missed describing the type of zombie? If you have, go ahead and comment. I’m interested in what you have to say.

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