Jack Flacco

Trish Jenner

Posted on January 22, 2014January 24, 2014 by Jack Flacco

In one of the most underrated movies in Horror, Trish Jenner (Gina Philips) and her brother Darry (Justin Long) take a ride through the country in hopes of arriving home safe during spring break. Little do they realize something evil stalks the travelers, and they’re about to meet it face to face. This week, my Women Who Wow Wednesday series focuses its crosshairs on the reluctant hero Trish Jenner of the movie Jeepers Creepers.

Gina Philips as Patricia "Trish" Jenner — Gina Philips as Patricia “Trish” Jenner

It starts with the siblings witnessing a possible crime and the story escalates from there. Released in late August of 2001 with a budget of $10 Million and directed by Victor Salva, the movie went on to make almost $60 Million worldwide. Yet, not only did most critics pan it, the film is not a Horror fan favorite either.

Although for a third of the movie Trish appears as a self-centered sister, her character shines once her brother returns in shock after having explored a hole in the ground. Her “keep it together” phrase comes in handy with every passing moment Darry losses touch with reality. Instead of fear, which her brother shows without restraint, her strength lies in remaining calm regardless of what is going on around her.

The turning point in her character comes when she gets behind the wheel of her busted up collector car and decides to take matters in her own hands. Gone is the apprehensive, smart aleck. In its place, an action hero takes control to save the day. One of the best lines of the movie goes something like this:

Darry: Is he dead?
Trish: They never are.

Trish then proceeds to run over whatever’s been chasing them for the length of the film several times before her brother says, “Enough.” Nothing quite like a character who’s had enough of a situation to let her inhibitions run wild.

As much as Trish fulfills the role of a Doubting Thomas, in the later half, she makes it clear her only intention is to protect her and her brother from harm’s way. As much as she complains, throws sarcastic remarks or hides her emotion, she is very much a woman as any woman could be—but stronger. Her instincts guide her in times of peril. When everyone else runs away, she remains firm in her stance against the unknown.

And it’s that firmness in resolve that makes her someone to admire.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you seen Jeepers Creepers? What did you think of Trish Jenner?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie What Ifs III

Posted on January 20, 2014January 28, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Lock your doors. Board your windows. Run and hide. This week’s Monday Mayhem series post brings you another Zombie What Ifs segment designed to challenge all you would-be undead slayers. If you haven’t worked through the first or second parts, no worries, you can have fun any ol’ way you want. Remember one thing—there isn’t any right answer to these. The point is to have fun, enjoy the moment and allow your creativity to run free.

How it works: I present a scenario filled with zombies, and your job is to figure out a way to escape. Of course I’ll give you my answer telling you what I’d do, but it doesn’t mean that’s what you would do. That’s up for you to decide.

Are you ready? All right then. Let’s go!

Scenario #1: Trapped in a locked car, windows rolled to the top and the keys having slipped to the floor of the passenger side, you dive for them. That very moment, one of the undead smashes through the passenger side window, and swipes its paws through the air to get at you. The keys are not on the floor as you originally had thought, but ended up under the passenger seat instead. What do you do, considering three more zombies are on their way and may smash through the other windows surrounding the car?

My Answer: Rise quickly, beat the tar out of the zombie’s face with the heel of my shoe, then dive for the keys hoping I’ll grab them in time before it attacks again.

Scenario #2: A horde of maggot bags chases you into the woods. You sprint, zigzag and find you haven’t lost them. In a desperate attempt to thwart their sensitive noses and ears, you find the carcass of a dead deer. A quarter of its torso is missing, but it gives you an idea. You saw it in a movie once. Do you squeeze into the remains of the deer in hopes the undead will pass you by or do you take your chances and keep running knowing sooner or later you may collapse from exhaustion?

My Answer: Keep running. No way would I want to slip into the guts of a dead deer.

Scenario #3: You run down the stairs to the hotel’s main lobby where you spot another group of undead waiting for you. You escape by making your way through the First Floor corridors rattling every door you encounter. All of them locked, you dash to the Fire Exit. Even there, another crowd awaits for its dinner—you. In a desperate move, you double-back pulling on all the doors again. Your luck changes when you find one of them unlocked. Sprinting inside you negotiate the adjacent rooms to fling the door open to the hotel’s indoor pool area. At this point, the gang of rotting flesh mongers plow through all the doors in the area, surrounding you. If you’re not a good swimmer, jumping into the pool will surely mean the death of you. But if you stay and try to outwit them, sooner or later you’ll get eaten alive. If you’re a good swimmer, eventually, you’ll tire and drown. What do you do?

My Answer: I’d rather drown.

Scenario #4: The mass chases you into a garage complete with a set a tools (ie. screwdrivers, hammers, a nail gun, compressed air, etc.) and a few parked cars, which were waiting for repairs. Do you stay behind and fight with the tools on hand or do you take a chance with one of the vehicles (keys are in the ignition)?

My Answer: I always go for the quickest way out—the cars.

Scenario #5: From the barn to the woods is a fifty-meter dash. You can make it, you think. Without a second thought, you run as fast and as hard as you can, hopping the wooden fence to make it to the open field. Twenty-five meters to go and from the woods you see them appear. First, there are twenty. Next, there are forty. By the time you finish your scream, a hundred of them have popped from the woods. You begin to run back to the barn, but it’s too late, the zombies that were chasing you earlier exited the barn with the smell of your flesh in their nostrils. Luckily, the farmers who had been working the field before the apocalypse left a hoe, a sickle and a scythe leaning against the fence. They’d also left the tractor with the keys in it, perhaps evidence zombies had attacked them right there. So, what’s your move? Keep running through the field hoping you won’t get caught? Stay and fight? Or do you try to hop on the tractor to see if it’ll start?

My Answer: Grab the sickle and run. I don’t know if I’ll lose valuable time attempting to start the tractor. I mean, I don’t even know how long it’s been out there.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

How did you do? What’s your best answer to any of the scenarios?

Freedom Friday

Blue

Posted on January 17, 2014January 20, 2014 by Jack Flacco

The color blue is everywhere in my life. It’s in my jeans. It’s on my desktop. It’s even in my dreams. But I’ll tell ya, it’s not my favorite color. Not by a long shot.

The color blue

This is my Freedom Friday post about the color blue.

As I was saying, blue is everywhere in my life. I search for it when I’m online, when I’m walking to the Main Street coffee shop, and when I’m browsing at the mall. Blue is everywhere.

I really can’t help it. When Avatar came out, I basked in the glory of blue. The movie had segments filmed in nothing but blue. The floating things made me feel warm and fuzzy all over for the things that bring me happiness.

Blue excites me while I drive my family home from visiting my parents late at night. A building stands tall and erect that resembles the final act of Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back. I always say to the kids, as we pass by it on the highway, “Look, it’s the Star Wars building!” They gawk, ponder and wow as we continue on our merry way. The glow of the roof’s cerulean lighting is enough to keep me entertained for the rest of the journey.

The color blue, too

My desktop has nothing but blue. I search for blue wallpapers. I search for blue themes. I search for blue mouse pointers. When I find them, they quickly hit my computer without a question. I don’t know what it is about the color blue. It brings out the best of my creativity. It replenishes my soul. It gives me the feeling of nostalgia that I can’t get anywhere else.

Then there’s the feeling of blue. You know, feeling blue? I don’t feel it that often. I know it’s there. I know people feel it. I know it affects people in different ways. I just don’t feel it often. I don’t wish I could feel it either in order to relate to some folks. I suppose something unpleasant would have to happen for the feeling to come. For now, I’m thankful I can only go with what others have told me. Feeling blue is awful.

You know what? It’s never too late to see another color. Like I said, blue is not my favorite color. If you know me well enough you’ll probably figure out what my favorite color is. The fact of the matter is how can we enjoy our favorite color and enjoy the color blue without feeling we’ve betrayed our soul?

[Author’s note: I wrote this post more as a compositional challenge to prove that anyone can write about anything and still have fun doing it. Although I wrote about the color blue, I had the surprising revelation that certain shades of blue unlocked memories I’d forgotten I had. In other words, I even surprised myself.]

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Do you have a color that dominates your world? If so, where do you see it?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Solara

Posted on January 15, 2014January 17, 2014 by Jack Flacco

When is it right to kill. When is it right to eat of the earth that which it provides as food? The death of an animal may prove fatal for the animal, but for a human it becomes food. So begins the film The Book of Eli, in ash-filled woods with a cat chewing on the foot of a man with a bullet firmly planted in his head. The cat becomes food.

The Book of Eli's Solara — The Book of Eli’s Solara

Eli (Denzel Washington) travels the dystopian nightmare hunting for trade. A pair of gloves and scarf can provide him water for a week. Hijackers can also use those articles. Eli doesn’t have trouble dispatching the gang. Armed with a machete tucked neatly under his coat, five quickly become none.

In a bar across the street from where Eli left his battery for recharging, a patron picks a fight with the wanderer. Not a good idea. The machete appears once again to clear the room of all the other gangsters, rather, patrons. Just as he was about to deliver the final blow, Solara (Mila Kunis) appears saying two simple words prompting the barkeep maiden’s inclusion in my Women Who Wow Wednesday series. “Stop. Please.”

Strong willed, persistent, yet something’s missing in Solara’s life she never knew she missed. She realizes Eli possesses the key. He knows, and it all begins with dinner for two holding hands and uttering words with closed eyes. She doesn’t know what it means, but she carries that memory to her mother, reciting the same words—a blessing over the food in God’s name.

By the time Eli leaves town, Solara’s curiosity drives her to follow him. A sidekick who gets into trouble more than once, Solara cries for what could have been her death. Soon after Eli saves her, she attempts to personally inspect the book he so guards with his life. In clear terms, he states no one touches the book. However, he neglected to commend her on her courage.

When a conflict ensues leaving her the last one standing, she takes it upon herself to save the day. With the wheel in both hands, she heads west, just as Eli had instructed. Filled with the hope for a new world, Solara follows Eli in faith, even though she doesn’t know what faith is. She trusts him. Wherever Eli goes, Solara follows. Nothing can stop her determined effort to live a life apart from the violence she left behind.

And that’s what makes Solara special. Into the mouth of the unknown she fights with her life for a place she can call her own. She believed all she saw, but with Eli, she believes in the unseen, having faith she will arrive where she belongs—a dwelling of peace and comfort.

Solara, Women Who Wow Wednesday’s woman of faith.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you seen The Book of Eli? What did you think of the film?

Monday Mayhem

An Open Letter to Zombies Everywhere

Posted on January 13, 2014March 21, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Dear Zombies,

Where do I start? I understand you’ve taken over the media. I understand you’ve taken the spotlight from the vampires. I understand that. I remember not too long ago when you dragged your feet, moaned as if you had ingested the most wonderful meal in the world and possessed the most demonic eyes on the planet. I know, I’ve written about you in my Monday Mayhem series.

Zombies [Photo Credit: In compliance with Wikipedia Common Licensing]

But that’s not why I’m writing. You see, I’ve noticed something—and I’m sure you can correct me with your indelible tabletop intelligence—you’ve changed. I don’t know how to explain it. I can describe it as a shift in your behavior. A modification in your genetic makeup. An alteration in your biological configuration. Whatever it is, I’m scared.

You have to understand, it takes a lot to scare me. I mean, I’ve seen The Exorcist umpteen times, The Omen and The Shining several other umpteen times, so I’m no slouch when it comes to the Horror genre. It takes quite a lot of to scare me. Granted, certain scenes in The Sixth Sense make me want to crawl under the sheets and suck my thumb like a little baby. So, yeah, you can say I get scared. But like I said, it takes a lot.

Also, you have to remember, I grew up watching Saturday Morning Cartoons where animators drew you as funny little characters with barely enough intellect to figure out where you belonged in the grand scheme of things. You don’t have to tell me about your history, I know it. Yes, even the voodoo incantations chanted in Haitian tribes to raise their dead. Talk about messed up.

Again, that doesn’t faze me. Not in the least.

Zombie [Photo Credit: In compliance with Wikipedia Common Licensing]

You know what really scares me? You know what keeps me awake staring at the bedroom window in the darkness of my room? What compels me to look over my shoulder in a lonely parking lot? What drives me to speed my pace walking from Main Street to my house on a cold winter night?

The virus. Your virus. It chills my bones to the marrow to think I can become one of you, one of the horde, one of the crowd, simply by a single bite from your infected mouth. It churns my gut to know this.

You know what else? I don’t like the fact that you are fast. I don’t have a chance. Since when did you become so fast to the point where you can crash cars from their spaces and dive on to your victims? You’ve become undefeatable. Should you flock as I’ve seen you do in many of the modern movies—we have no means to defend ourselves other than to hide as mice would from a cat hunting its prey.

And that’s not fair.

At least give us a hint of what we can do to create an antidote for your condition. At least give us a chance. We can’t outrun you. We can try. But you will win.

I liked you better when you were slow and punchy.

At least we had a chance.

Yours truly,

Jack Flacco

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Do you have anything you’d like to add as a P.S. to my open letter to the zombies?

Freedom Friday, Photo Opportunities

The Ice Storm of 2013

Posted on January 10, 2014May 8, 2017 by Jack Flacco

Almost three weeks ago, Toronto and the surrounding vicinity had its power cut from under its feet. Living an hour north from the greater metropolitan, we came out of the disaster unscathed. Other than a few felled trees, we had a virtual behemoth of ice blanketing the area. But we retained our power. That in itself is miraculous. And why wouldn’t Freedom Friday describe the event as anything but?

I awoke to the sound of silence. Unusual, I thought. The neighbor’s dog should have been out barking in the backyard. A car or two should have been traveling on our street to work. I wouldn’t have known what to make of it until I hopped from my bed and peeked through the blinds to discover everything coated in ice. I felt I was living a real-life scene from the movie The Day After Tomorrow where New York City fell under a sub-arctic weather mass.

My first instinct to call my parents proved unproductive. Their phone gave me a busy signal, which meant one of two things—they were talking with my sister about the storm or they’d lost power and weren’t home. Sure enough, my sister had called to let me know my folks were over at her place after having lost power. The region had shut down and no sign of any visible progress would be forthcoming for the next seventy-two hours.

Meanwhile, I had my own dilemma. Even though we hadn’t lost electricity, we had a driveway covered in a foot of ice. It looked like a literal skating rink out there. When I dared make the trek outside, the five steps from our home mocked me with the words, “treacherous”, “lethal”, and “deadly”. The steps were non-existent, replaced by a hill that wasn’t there the night before. I negotiated the anomaly without compromising my safety.

Once at the bottom, I slid to the edge of our driveway. Had I known then what I know now, I would have never slept. Instead, I would have chosen to stay up all night to ensure the bottom of the driveway remained clear. Well, that didn’t work as expected. I stared at the mound to the mouth of the driveway and measured it to be three feet, more or less. That’s three feet of solid ice. I knew I was in trouble.

Surely, I thought, my snow thrower would rescue me from days of attempting to find the bottom of my driveway. I didn’t know what I was doing. I revved the engine, aimed for the ice and—nothing happened. The machine threw its hands in the air not even recognizing the ice and laughed at me. Okay, so maybe my optimism got the best of me.

Next, I put away the snow thrower and went to Plan B: I lined my pockets with cash and waited at the foot of the driveway on the mound of ice that held my weight without a problem. As the cars passed by my street, I held my breath. I hoped upon hope for relief. I didn’t know if it would come, but I kept my wits about me and remained confident.

Half-an-hour later, reinforcements came in the form of a plow. With a pocket full of cash, I felt confident we’d win. And win we did. We managed to get the whole driveway plowed for a $20 bill. Imagine my relief.

Well, that was one problem out of the way. It didn’t help my stair problem. What to do with all the ice that had made my steps a ski slope? Unfortunately, folks, this I had to take care of myself utilizing a spade fork to break up the ice. Three hours later, I’d cleared the steps.

Now, this is all very well and fine, but it doesn’t compare to the satisfaction of digging out our neighbor across the street from this mess. But that’s another story.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Did you experience the ice storm of 2013? What did you have to do to dig yourself out of its clutches?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Selena

Posted on January 8, 2014January 10, 2014 by Jack Flacco

No one messes with Selena. No one. At first glance, she doesn’t say much. Her beautiful looks do not betray her enthusiastic will to survive. Not until the infected crash through a safe house does she show her true colors. With a machete in hand, she kills her best friend after seeing his arm bleeding from a bite wound. She would do it again in a heartbeat.

Adding to Women Who Wow Wednesday is Selena, the 28 Days Later character that shows no qualms in dispensing justice against the infected.

The story begins in a primate lab where scientists are experimenting with chimpanzees, infecting them with a virus called Rage. Animal rights activists overtake the lab’s security and quickly proceed to free the subjects of the experiments. Unbeknownst to any of them, they unleash the deadly virus on Great Britain, leaving the island in tatters from the devastating effects.

When Jim meets Selena (Naomie Harris), she and her fellow fighter, Mark, take him in as one of their own. Jim came from a hospital nearby, the sole survivor from the medical facility. The first thing Jim witnesses is Selena’s willingness to kill in order to remain alive. He can’t understand what drives her to want to destroy everything around her. Within days, he discovers her unyielding determination to survive—even if it means killing everyone around her that exhibits symptoms of the Rage virus.

Other characteristics set Selena apart from the rest of the survivors. She sees things as black and white. Do this, get killed. Do that, live. You get bitten, you die. Simple as that. Her definition of living is surviving. The infected are fast. The infected are strong. Nothing she will do can replace her life that was. But she can certainly ensure her safety by keeping her wits about her.

That is, until we see her eyes light up when passing a grocery store with the other survivors in the car. They go shopping. The first thing she advises everyone to do is to not take anything that needs to be cooked, which prompts Jim to say, “I think I can eat that raw.” Of course, Selena has her own weakness. “If I never see another chocolate bar again, it’ll be too soon. Not counting Terry’s Chocolate Orange!”

As tough as Selena appears, she also has a soft heart. Embracing the sight of horses running free on the moors warms her face with a smile that stretches from ear to ear. Talking with Jim, she states, “You were thinking that you’ll never hear another piece of original music ever again. You’ll never read a book that hasn’t already been written or see a film that hasn’t already been shot.” Huh, Selena—the softie.

Inasmuch as Selena sleeps with a machete in her hand, she’s very much a woman. Nonetheless, nothing will deter her to outlive the infected. She has life built in to her makeup.

Always cautious, always ready for a battle, Selena is a powerhouse fighter ready to take on anything that may get in her way.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Do you remember Selena from 28 Days Later? What did you think of her?

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