March 2014 – Looking to God

Zombie Virus

Posted on March 31, 2014April 2, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Visiting the hospital the other day made me wish I’d fallen victim to a real life zombie virus. As I roamed the corridors, a man sporting a seemingly healthy complexion passed my wife and me around the corner. Negotiating the maze of hallways, we saw the man pass us by again. This was no accident, I thought. As we slipped into the nurses’ station, he had passed by once more behind us. It’s with some apprehension I thought he was following us. Yet, that wasn’t the case. He simply was tracing the same route minute-by-minute, regardless if we were there or not. He was a true walker.

This strange episode left me with the idea that we’re searching everywhere for the zombie virus to appear but instead, perhaps, we already have it flourishing in our society. We just don’t know about it.

In this edition of Monday Mayhem, I want to explore two common diseases and one psychological condition that correlate to symptoms matching those of zombie physiological behavioral patterns. This may get gory, so be forewarned.

The Common Cold—Also known as nasopharyngitis, rhinopharyngitis, and acute coryza, the common cold has over 200 strains at its disposal to which it can render us helpless in no time. Between ten days and three weeks, the virus can wreak havoc with our immune system, causing fatigue, loss of appetite, headache and muscle ache. Fever tends to happen with infants and young children. The common cold falls under the coronaviruses umbrella of bugs, the same family of viruses responsible for SARS. Similar to many of the zombie viruses written about in fiction, the common cold’s ferocity of transmission makes it a good candidate for an apocalyptic mutation, less the bite, of course.

Flesh-Eating Disease—Going by the medical name necrotizing fasciitis, the disease consumes tissues and layers of skin transforming everything in its wake into a rotten mass. During the course of its growth, the epidermis takes on a dark appearance. If left untreated, the infection can spread rapidly throughout the body, which would then lead to death. Not a trivial matter, much like a zombie virus, this disease shows the effects of death on a living being. I’m not about to post photos of what the disease looks like in full bloom, consuming a human body. The only difference with a zombie virus is the victim’s ability to retain cognitive reasoning.

Catatonia—Although not a disease in itself but a syndrome, catatonia presents an interesting set of symptoms that one may speculate comes directly from a zombie book. Patients of the condition exhibit peculiar motor movements such as stiff posturing, posses and grimacing. They also demonstrate purposeless actions when entrenched in a state of catatonic excitement, making it one of the most dangerous mental states in psychiatry. Brought about by other mental illnesses (e.g. depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia), catatonia bears striking similarities to those infected by a zombie virus, where the victims roam about without direction, expressing no visible sign of sentience.

The common cold, flesh-eating disease and catatonia are a few of the diseases/conditions I thought of right off the top of my head when comparing zombie virus symptoms with real life aliments. I’m sure you can think of more, considering I’ve only scratched the surface. Who knows, perhaps one day I may revisit this topic citing controversial psychological studies as the basis for an in-depth study of my own. Until then, we can indulge in some fun speculation as to the nature of the zombie virus.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Where do you think the zombie virus will come from?

Freedom Friday

Spam

Posted on March 28, 2014March 31, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Since it’s Freedom Friday and since it’s the end of the week for some of us, I thought I’d treat you to some fun—the best kind of fun—fun at the expense of others. Anyone watch America’s Funniest Home Videos? Well, that’s not the fun I had in mind. I’m talking about the comments I sometimes receive from these automated spam machines in the comments area of my posts.

Oh, I got your attention, I see.

We all get them, some more than others do. I’m talking about comments falling in our moderation queue that attempt to sell us overpriced shoes, gaudy jewelry, and even try to fish us into believing they like our posts. You don’t have to admit anything. I’ve fallen for a couple myself believing they were legitimate until I’d discovered that once I’d released one spam on my blog, a flood of them appeared overnight as I frantically pressed the delete key to get rid of them all.

This is the type of stuff I get in my comments queue awaiting my moderation:

“I am regular reader, how are you everybody? This post posted at this website is actually good.” ~Wedding Planner

Where do I start? First, you’re missing “a”, as in “a regular reader”. If you want to sell me stuff, learn proper grammar. Second, “how are you everybody?” Should I worry at one time in my life you’ve spoken with one of my schizophrenic personalities I didn’t know I had? Third, “This post posted”, yeah, I got it. You don’t have to be redundant about it.

“I really like what you guys tend to be up too. This type of clever work and exposure! Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve included you guys to our blogroll.” ~Free Sex Chat

You guys? Again you’re trying to convince me I’m schizophrenic. I’m one guy, Jack. Get it right. “This type of clever work and exposure!” Whoo-hoo! I can feel your excitement but I have no clue what you’re talking about. Does the term complete sentence mean anything to you? “Keep up the terrific works guys…” Much like the Wedding Planner dude, you also seem to have a problem with grammar.

“Thіs post is in fact a good one it assists new web people, who aree wishing for blogging.” ~Buy Followers

Seriously, I have no clue as to what you’re trying to say to me. I’m lost.

And I’ve saved the best for last.

“Someone necessarilу lend a hand to make significantly articles I might state. That is the first time I frequentеd yoսr website pazge and so far? I amazed with the analysis you maԁe to create this particular publish incredible. Great actiνity!” ~Promo

I’m considering I may actually need another personality after reading your comment. Oh, look, it’s kicking in now—neener nanny, neener nanny, neener nanny.

Nowadays, I don’t even look at my spam queue—well, I had to for this post, but you can blame it on my other personalities. With over two hundred of these messages I receive over the course of a few days, I don’t have time to sift through the chaos to determine what is good and what is bad. I certainly do get a laugh out of the ones I do receive though, and the messages equally provide many hours of amusement at the expense of the spammers.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you received spam email? What was the funniest one you received?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Mako Mori

Posted on March 26, 2014March 28, 2014 by Jack Flacco

Pacific Rim is one of those movies where one viewing just isn’t enough. So much happens with every scene that the movie’s charm glitters even more so after multiple viewings and with plenty of popcorn.

From the grand scale cast comes an intrepid fighter with a grudge to settle and the will to die for an ideal filled with hope. Women Who Wow Wednesday celebrates Pacific Rim’s Mako Mori.

Japan once again becomes the footstool to giant monsters, this time they’re called the Kaiju. To fight against them, humanity builds skyscraper-sized robots known as Jaegers, fully armed and packing the heat to take down the Kaiju in the streets of the small island. Controlled by two pilots, the Jaegers become fodder to the Kaiju’s weapons of mass destruction. In hopes of stemming the clash with the mainland, the world’s military take one last chance on former Jaeger pilot Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam) in an attempt to defeat the Kaiju.

As part of the Jaeger program, Raleigh needs a partner of equal talent to pull off the impossible—the destruction of the Kaiju. Played by The Brothers Bloom’s Rinko Kikuchi, Mako Mori is program leader Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba)’s right-hand go-to girl. If anyone knows anything about the invading monsters, it’s Mako. She’s met one up close and personal. Her experience leads her to team up with Raleigh in a battle of nerves against the giants.

To control the Jaegers, Raleigh and Mako need to hook up to become drift compatible. Drifting’s all about melding the pilots’ brains into one in order to maximize strategy and control the giant robot. Without it, the pilots would die.

Mako’s resiliency proves to be on the cutting edge of the Kaiju’s bad side. She displays a cunning for fighting Raleigh hasn’t seen since the death of his previous partner of war. The skill by which she deploys the weaponry proves surprising as they dispatch one monster after another in the heart of a battle-infested ocean.

What makes Mako admirable is how she doesn’t run away from insurmountable odds, but sticks to her guns, plows ahead and fights without so much as a whimper. She doesn’t scamper from her problems, scared. She doesn’t cry because things are too hard for her. No. Mako stands her ground and doesn’t budge on the first sight of trouble. What’s more? She trusts Raleigh with her life. No matter how bad things get, she learns to let go and allow herself to surf the drift with Raleigh by her side as her closest friend in arms. She doesn’t care what others think. She gets the job done.

Mako Mori lives as she preaches, without fear and having the will to fight no matter what stands in her way.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

What did you think of the movie Pacific Rim? What do you think of Mako?

Monday Mayhem

Zombieland Rules

Posted on March 24, 2014March 26, 2014 by Jack Flacco

I love Zombieland. I can watch that movie several times in a row without getting bored. I also love the little things about it. I love how Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) loves Twinkies. What’s not to love about a zombie slaying Twinkie lover who just as well bash the brains of the undead than have a civilized conversation? Have I overused the word love yet? That’s why for today’s Monday Mayhem series I want to write about the Zombieland rules. Do you know what they are? Have you ever heard of them? If not, you’re in luck. Have a gander below to find out what they are.

Rule #1—Cardio: Do you want to survive the zombie apocalypse? Get in shape. Zombies nowadays are speed demons. They can dash from one side of a football field to another in seconds. Best keeping one step ahead of them than finding yourself served as the main course to a zombie buffet. No one wants that.

Rule #2—Double Tap: Here’s how this works, one of the undead races towards you and you blast it in the head. Don’t be cheap. Unload another bullet in their rotting corpse for insurance. You’ll never know you killed it unless its jaws lock on your jugular. By that time, it’ll be too late. Use another bullet. You’ll be glad you did.

Rule #3—Beware of Bathrooms: One thing’s for sure, when a zombie’s after you, you don’t want to have your pants down. Avoid bathrooms. Toilets kill. Zombies can smell you a mile away. You want privacy? Get lost in the woods with a small shovel. Once you’re done, pile the dirt and disappear. You don’t want that stuff getting on your shoes to have a horde after you because of improper waste management.

Rule #4—Seatbelts: If anything’s certain during the zombie apocalypse, you’ll be running hard. The second point of certainty is you’ll be driving fast. You’ll always want to have your seatbelt firmly secured around your waist. The highways will have obstacles everywhere and if you should so hit one of these obstacles, you’ll be taking a header through the windshield on to the highway ahead. Always wear your seatbelt.

Rule #7—Travel Light: Do you think you’ll have time to pack your bags and hit the road when zombies are knocking at your door? Of course not. You won’t have enough time to think, let alone pack. Much like an expectant mother, it would be a good idea to keep a knapsack prepped either at the foot of the door or the window. You’ll want to carry guns, knives, bullets—you know—the essentials. Rope will come in handy, too. But the reality is once the zombies spot you and chase you, you’ll have little else to do than run. You can’t run fast if you’re packing heavy.

Rule #11—Check the Back Seat: Have you ever seen those Horror flicks where the girl dives into the driver’s seat of her car after having ran a mile from an unknown entity? Can you tell me what happens next? Right, someone or something hops from the back seat and makes her into a side serving for lunch. Always, always check the back seat of your car.

Rule #16—Limber Up: The worst thing that can happen to you when running as fast as you can from those maggot bags is pulling a muscle ten feet into your escape plan. How could it happen in the first place? You didn’t limber up. You see, during the apocalypse, you won’t have time to fall on your backside because you’ll be too busy running. You’ll need to keep in shape if you’re to avoid the dreaded mandibles of the undead latching on to your leg. While you’re doing other things, throw in a few jumping jacks. Better still, toss in several pushups. After all, a limber human is a saved human.

Rule #17—Don’t be a Hero: Everyone loves a hero, but how great is a hero if said hero ends up as a meal? Let’s admit it, pulling the trigger on a zombie and watching its brains splatter against the wall is fun. And if you save someone in the process, it’s a thrill. However, if it’s you against them and you have nothing to gain, better save your ammo and run. Those few seconds contemplating how glorious zombie brains would look all over the dash could have gone to better use like, hightailing it out of there while you still have your life in your hands. Always run.

Rule #32—Enjoy the Little Things: Remember your first crush? Remember how it felt learning you’d passed your worst subject in school by the skin on your nose? Remember your first Twinkie? In the hustle and bustle of a killing the undead, we’ll tend to forget the little things that make life special. Take a moment between kills to reminisce about life’s little wonders, about the beauty that was and the joy you gain when thinking of the simple things. Who knows? Maybe one day you’ll also find the last Twinkie on earth and know what I mean.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

What are the official Zombieland rules? Where can I find them?

Food Favorites, Freedom Friday

Curry Chicken II

Posted on March 21, 2014May 8, 2017 by Jack Flacco

I’ve been looking forward all week to tell you about my curry chicken recipe. If you’re keeping track, this is my second curry chicken recipe I’m sharing with you for my Freedom Friday series. Born from the many Saturday afternoon meals I cook for the family, this dish will boost the spirit of any crowd looking for something fun to eat. So, sit back, put your feet up and allow the sweet smell of flavor to take over your imagination.

If you read my post Curry Chicken, then you will know I love cooking and eating. That shouldn’t surprise anyone. The big difference with this recipe has to do with the way I cook it. I wish I’d taken shots of the entire process, but I’m sure if I provide you detailed instructions, you’ll have no problem cooking it yourself. I’ll get back to the way I cook this a little later on. I don’t bake it like the first recipe, that’s for sure.

Let’s start with the ingredients:

Black pepper
Cayenne pepper
Coconut milk
Curry powder
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Paprika
Salt

You’ll notice one ingredient missing from the original recipe and two ingredients added. That’s right I pulled the ginger from the list because I already had two different heats competing for your palette, black pepper and cayenne. You’re also correct if you’ve guessed I added paprika and coconut milk. You’ll see what I’ll do with those later.

Now for the directions:

Buying the right chicken makes all the world of difference. If you can afford organic skinless thighs, then I’d suggest saving some cash in order to make it a special treat. If you can’t go organic, try Costco chicken. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, and not wanting to sound like an ad, but they give you a lot for your money and you’ll have leftovers to boot.

The prep is super easy. Cut the thighs into smaller pieces about two inches in length all around. You’ll notice once you begin cooking, the pieces will shrink to bite-size portions. Toss your chicken in a cooking pot, preferably one of those deep two-handle ones with the glass cover. If you don’t have one of those, any deep pot will do. Make sure it can hold the chicken and the coconut milk.

This is the fun part, besides eating of course. Place the pot with the chicken on the stove and begin cooking it at a medium heat. No oils, butters or anything like that. Add half a can of coconut milk and stir with a wooden spoon. Plastic spoons do not do justice to this dish. Next, add the rest of your ingredients. Now, I have to say this, I’ve never measured how much of one thing versus another I should add. I always say “to taste” but you see the problem there, right? You don’t want to taste raw chicken as you cook it since doing so would make you violently ill or even worse, kill you. Don’t do it.

Then how do I measure the ingredients to add? Well, imagine all the chicken laying on the counter in a straight line. How would you go about sprinkling the ingredients on them? That’s how I imagine it. I add a lot of curry powder enough to cover each piece. As for the rest, add a few shakes of each ingredient except cayenne pepper. You don’t want to make it too hot. If you have fresh ground pepper, go with that. Nothing quite beats the flavor of fresh. Regarding the salt, up to you how much you want to add. If you add a little, it’ll taste bland. Imagine the chicken spanning the counter again. You’ll get the hang of how much to add.

Keep stirring the chicken in the milk every few minutes or so on medium heat. Leave it uncovered because what you’re trying to do is to allow the milk to reduce to a creamy gravy, which will contain all the flavors you’ve added. Cook for about forty-five minutes but it may be less depending on the stove. I tend to cook it until I see a thick gravy forming and that’s when I reduce the heat to simmer and cover.

On this particular Saturday, I made shoestring fries in the oven to compliment the dish. Rather than slapping the fries on a tray and shoving them in the oven like the instructions say, I add a couple of ingredients to the mix. I sprinkle onion powder and salt on the fries, then toss them in the oven. Believe me, if you have kids, they’ll love the restaurant quality fries you’ll serve them and may even brag about it to their friends.

As for the veggies, up to you what you want to serve with the dish. I had peas on hand and made those by steaming and adding some butter to them. They actually tasted great with the dish.

Before serving the chicken, grab a fork and knife and cut through a piece of chicken to make sure it’s cooked. If it’s white inside and the knife cuts the meat evenly without it feeling rubbery, then you know you’ve got yourself a winner. Try it before plating. If it’s missing flavor, more than likely you didn’t put enough garlic or onion powder. Add the missing ingredient to the pot and stir until dissolved.

When you’re serving the dish, make sure to add in the gravy, it makes for an awesome dip for the fries. Other than that, that’s all there is to it. I hope you enjoy this dish as much as I had writing about it!

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you ever had curry chicken? What do you like about it the most?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Wyldstyle

Posted on March 19, 2014March 21, 2014 by Jack Flacco

I grew up with LEGO. I love LEGO. Can I make it any plainer? Now that I’m older, and maybe somewhat wiser, I play the LEGO video games. Yes, I’ve played them all. The incomplete list includes Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, and Batman. I say incomplete because if I were to list them all, we’d be here all day. Thank me for sparing you the inconvenience of my prattling on to infinity and beyond.

The LEGO Movie's Wyldstyle — The LEGO Movie’s Wyldstyle

All right, enough with the introductions. This week’s Women Who Wow Wednesday focuses on Wyldstyle, the female character extraordinaire featured in The LEGO Movie. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil the movie if you haven’t seen it. Know this, though, I’m a massive LEGO fan, hence, keeping tightlipped about the movie may prove to be a challenge for me. Nevertheless, I will not spoil it. I promise.

Where do I start? It’s an awesome movie. How’s that for a beginning? Really, it’s that good. I dare the skeptics to prove me wrong. The story’s awesome, the characters are awesome and it’s hilariously awesome (you didn’t think I’d pass up another opportunity to use the word awesome again, did you?)

Wyldstyle's funky hairstyle — Wyldstyle’s funky hairstyle

Let’s talk Wyldstyle. Who is she? What does she do? In a quick summary, she’s one of the movie’s lead characters with a funky hairstyle. When I mean funky, I mean two streaks, magenta and cyan running across her bangs that fall just above her right eyebrow, and a cool ponytail dancing from the left side of her head. What’s more? She sports the darkest hair and leathers that would stop a construction worker in mid thought.

There’s more to her, a lot more. She sees the potential in a situation without getting excited about it—understatement. Actually, when she finds something that works, she’ll keep at it until she exhausts every available means at her disposal to make things right.

Wyldstyle is headstrong, confident and never minces words whenever she’s in a tight spot with guns blazing overhead. She’s a true friend as well, keeping a confidence and being honest with whomever she meets. If an idea seems bad, she’ll say it’s a bad idea. She doesn’t hold back and she doesn’t hide her feelings like other tough girls. If she sees it, she says it.

Overall, Wyldstyle has her issues, like not following instructions, but if anyone were looking for a best friend, she fits the role to perfection.

If you haven’t caught her at the theater in The LEGO Movie yet, now’s your chance. Have at it and prepare to laugh like never before.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you seen The LEGO Movie yet? What did you think of it and Wyldstyle?

Monday Mayhem

Zombies at Sea

Posted on March 17, 2014March 19, 2014 by Jack Flacco

The safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse is at sea. Last summer’s blockbuster hit World War Z proved this by setting the story’s base of operations on a battleship stationed off the coast of the United States. For my Monday Mayhem series, let’s have a look at a few reasons why it would make sense to live on the ocean during the undead’s reign of terror on dry land. Similarly, we can’t ignore the one problem that would exist should someone think about employing such a survival strategy.

Yacht [Photo Credit: This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.]

Becoming a castaway at sea during the course of a zombie apocalypse would entail many hours of planning and plenty of resources. Much of that planning would involve lists of supplies, access to waterways and the type of boat used for the expedition. Let’s not forget the most important aspect of such a venture—security. How will a survivor defend the ship should a sudden attack take place, by military or otherwise?

First off, what kind of supplies should a potential survivor plan to take with them should a zombie apocalypse take over the world? To answer this question, we’ll have to know what kind of boat will become the home away from home at sea. Will it be a sailboat, motor boat or yacht? As luxurious as the idea of purchasing a yacht is, the cost for a twenty-five to thirty-five footer can go for more than $20,000. That price does not include docking fees and crew. The price for motor yachts jumps dramatically once fuel and mechanical maintenance comes to play. Of course, someone will have the bright idea of stealing a vessel once the apocalypse goes full swing, but we’ll see why that won’t work in the real world.

Yacht [Photo Credit: This file is made available under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication]

After determining the boat we’ll take to sea, we’ll need to head over to the mall for some supplies. From the onset, this is not going to be pretty on the pocketbook. Are you ready? Here we go. Depending how many passengers travel with you, you’ll need paddles and oars in case the motor has a bad day and you’re stuck wondering what to do next. On the list go life vests, boat seats, fishing rods and racks, anchoring equipment, boat lighting, first aid, and pumps in case you hit something and need to get rid of the water flooding the hull. In addition, guns and ammunition will come in handy when defending your floating paradise. That’s why it’s a bad idea for some geniuses to think they can steal a boat from their owners, not knowing if said owners are packing heavy.

This is all very well and fine, but why would it be a good idea to dock in the middle of the ocean during a zombie apocalypse anyway? I can think of several reasons. The big one is zombies can’t swim. Try as they may, they can walk the ocean floor and that’s as far as they’ll get to coming close to your boat. Also, in the ocean there are no zombie viruses to fight since that would constitute someone already being infected with the contagion and spreading it onboard. Easiest way to combat the spread of contamination is to throw the infected off the ship. Problem solved. Lastly, other than storms surprising us in the middle of the night, a certain peace comes with living on the ocean. We can have a good night’s sleep without worrying the undead will have a field day on our bones during our slumber.

As promised, the one big problem facing those choosing the ocean as their refuge is food, or rather the lack thereof. After several months at sea without a grocer in sight for miles, the fresh fruits and vegetables will be gone. More than likely, so will the meat, if the vessel does not feature a freezer in the galley. Dry goods will eventually disappear as well. As much as anyone would enjoy living out at sea, food supplies will dwindle, tempers will flare and someone will want to go back to shore for a fresh supply of avocados.

Surviving at sea during a zombie apocalypse is a great idea, but it comes with its costs and challenges. Knowing what those costs and challenges are will aid with the decision making process. Are we ready?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you thought of what it would be like surviving at sea during a zombie apocalypse?

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