Posted in Monday Mayhem

An Open Letter to Zombies Everywhere

Dear Zombies,

Where do I start? I understand you’ve taken over the media. I understand you’ve taken the spotlight from the vampires. I understand that. I remember not too long ago when you dragged your feet, moaned as if you had ingested the most wonderful meal in the world and possessed the most demonic eyes on the planet. I know, I’ve written about you in my Monday Mayhem series.

Zombies [Photo Credit: In compliance with Wikipedia Common Licensing]
Zombies [Photo Credit: In compliance with Wikipedia Common Licensing]
But that’s not why I’m writing. You see, I’ve noticed something—and I’m sure you can correct me with your indelible tabletop intelligence—you’ve changed. I don’t know how to explain it. I can describe it as a shift in your behavior. A modification in your genetic makeup. An alteration in your biological configuration. Whatever it is, I’m scared.

You have to understand, it takes a lot to scare me. I mean, I’ve seen The Exorcist umpteen times, The Omen and The Shining several other umpteen times, so I’m no slouch when it comes to the Horror genre. It takes quite a lot of to scare me. Granted, certain scenes in The Sixth Sense make me want to crawl under the sheets and suck my thumb like a little baby. So, yeah, you can say I get scared. But like I said, it takes a lot.

Also, you have to remember, I grew up watching Saturday Morning Cartoons where animators drew you as funny little characters with barely enough intellect to figure out where you belonged in the grand scheme of things. You don’t have to tell me about your history, I know it. Yes, even the voodoo incantations chanted in Haitian tribes to raise their dead. Talk about messed up.

Again, that doesn’t faze me. Not in the least.

Zombie [Photo Credit: In compliance with Wikipedia Common Licensing]
Zombie [Photo Credit: In compliance with Wikipedia Common Licensing]
You know what really scares me? You know what keeps me awake staring at the bedroom window in the darkness of my room? What compels me to look over my shoulder in a lonely parking lot? What drives me to speed my pace walking from Main Street to my house on a cold winter night?

The virus. Your virus. It chills my bones to the marrow to think I can become one of you, one of the horde, one of the crowd, simply by a single bite from your infected mouth. It churns my gut to know this.

You know what else? I don’t like the fact that you are fast. I don’t have a chance. Since when did you become so fast to the point where you can crash cars from their spaces and dive on to your victims? You’ve become undefeatable. Should you flock as I’ve seen you do in many of the modern movies—we have no means to defend ourselves other than to hide as mice would from a cat hunting its prey.

And that’s not fair.

At least give us a hint of what we can do to create an antidote for your condition. At least give us a chance. We can’t outrun you. We can try. But you will win.

I liked you better when you were slow and punchy.

At least we had a chance.

Yours truly,

Jack Flacco

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Do you have anything you’d like to add as a P.S. to my open letter to the zombies?

Posted in Monday Mayhem

What Makes Horror Movies Scary?

The scariest part of a zombie movie is not when the audience sees a person eaten by a horde of the undead, but when the horde remains hidden until that very first glimpse. You know they’re coming. You know they will consume anyone in their path. The terror-inducing shivers felt hearing but not seeing an eater is enough to drive anyone to want to sport a chin guard in a padded room.

I tend to dedicate Monday Mayhem to all that is zombie. Today, I’d like to try something different. Today, let’s delve into what makes horror movies scary. In particular, let’s look at three movies that leave me lying in bed staring at the dark ceiling wondering if anything lives in my closet.

Alien egg (Photo credit: www.GdeFon.ru)
Alien egg (Photo credit: GdeFon.ru)

Alien—In 1979, when I was barely in my teens, director Ridley Scott presented his version of what an alien should look like. At the time, the trailers featuring an egg as the catalyst for a possible invasion drew critical acclaim. What audiences didn’t know is the flick is actually a horror movie dressed in sci-fi clothing. “In space no one can hear you scream” became the tagline for this original motion picture. When I first saw this movie, I couldn’t help notice how subsequent sightings of the creature throughout the film turned more graphic with every scene. It created an uneasiness I hadn’t ever experienced. It wasn’t until days later that I had appreciated how not seeing the alien terrified me more than if it had appeared earlier in the story.

The Exorcist
The Exorcist

The ExorcistI had written about this 1973 film in my October tribute to Horror for my Women Who Wow Wednesday series. Directed by William Friedkin and starring Linda Blair as the child possessed, the big screen adaptation of William Peter Blatty’s novel went on to become one of the most successful horror movies of all time. How did it do this? We never see the real culprit at work. We see the effects and the aftermath of what happened. But why or by whom remains a mystery. What’s more? The progressive escalation of events increases the tension further by leaving the audience wondering what is causing the terror. I saw this movie in my teens when my parents went visiting relatives. I had nightmares for a week. Now, that’s a good horror flick.

Jack Nicholas in The Shining
Jack Nicholas in The Shining

The Shining—Can anyone deny the phrase, “Redrum. Redrum. REDRUM!” chills the bones? This 1980 Stephen King vehicle starring Jack Nicholson as a writer wanting a quiet place to work, showcases classic scenes one would come to expect in a horror picture. As with Alien and The Exorcist, The Shining also highlights an effective acceleration of plot points to a heart-stopping climax. Making this Stanley Kubrick film unique, the individual scenes watched as individual units confuses, if at best, mesmerizes. As a whole though, every scene builds on the last, layering an intricate design of terror, which, by all accounts, gives the viewer an immersive experience in regards to the events surrounding this foreboding tale of murder and supernatural bedlam.

Overall, the movies Alien, The Exorcist and The Shining underscore what true horror is all about. Not so much what you see, but what you don’t see that makes things scary.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

Have you seen Alien, The Exorcist or The Shining? Which one did you find the scariest? Why? Do you have any favorite horror movies that left you awake at night?