Posted in How-To Guides

How to Give Without Expecting Anything Back

Firefighters have a tough job. They rush into burning buildings to save us from fires. They work odd hours. Their sleep patterns may be non-existent.

One thing is certain: the amount of time and dedication a firefighter devotes to the job does not compare to the appreciation shown to them in the form of compensation.

We owe them our lives.

Walking in Someone Else’s Shoes

That act of giving is not an easy thing to master. It takes a certain mindset to turn around and say, “Here, this belongs to me, but I want you to have it because it is the right thing to do.”

With firefighters, it is simply a case of walking in another person’s shoes. They have counted the cost and they know that if no one steps in to do anything, nothing will ever get done. They want to make a difference.

Giving of our abundance, whether it is time, money or health, means seeing things from the other person’s perspective. Mental and/or physical health issues may prevent someone from accomplishing anything of value, in which case, others may need to step in to help.

And that is okay. Aiding those less fortunate would lend to a spirit of humility that would inspire others to participate as well.

Giving Is Not a Zero-Sum Game

When was the last time we have heard someone say, “You rub my back, I rub yours,” or, “If you do this for me, I will do that for you,” or how about, “I owe you one.”

Sadly, all of these statements have a condition attached to them.

How to Give Without Expecting Anything BackWhy can we not give without it being a transaction? There is nothing wrong with the word reciprocation, however, when it becomes the sole reason for giving, it is nothing more than politics.

Giving from the heart means just that, giving without expecting anything in return.

Now some may consider this philosophy a zero-sum game, in that someone else’s loss is someone else’s gain—but giving without strings is really a win-win game. In fact, bestowing on others all the joys and privileges we ourselves possess, encourages others to share in those same joys and privileges.

Imagine if everyone did that. There would be no need for the social safety nets our governments have established to help with the poor and the downtrodden.

We would all share in the abundance of the harvest our great lands produce.

Giving to Give

Therefore, let us not think of what we can get for what we can give. Instead, let us provide shelter for those who do not have homes. Let us cook food for those who are hungry. Let us bring clothing to those who cannot afford to buy it themselves.

For with every good deed we do to those who cannot do it for themselves, a greater reward awaits us with the joy we gain from giving.

Posted in Freedom Friday

Heads Down

This week has been interesting, don’t you think? Monday, I talked about my binge watching ways of The Walking Dead episodes from AMC. Wednesday, I wrote about Rick Grimes, a small town sheriff’s deputy who finds himself in a real-to-goodness zombie apocalypse. And today? I’m not sure. Perhaps I can talk about zombies, but I have something else on my mind. Forgive me if I go off on a tangent for the next few minutes. Bear with me, folks.

Heads DownFreedom Friday wouldn’t be the same without me observing something and not telling you about it.

Recently I took the train into the city from my own small town, and although I’ve noticed this before, I’ve never written about it. Seems this is common, and since purchasing an iPhone 6, I’m finding I’m doing the same thing. What am I talking about?

Heads down.

You know what I’m talking about.

Walk into any coffee shop, bus station or simply sit on a park bench. It’s there.

Heads down.

Terrible, isn’t it? There was a time I could stand in line or sit in a waiting room at the doctor’s office where I could strike up a conversation with someone there, talk about the weather, the latest sports scores or anything really. Not anymore.

Heads down.

Even going out to have a meal with the family. Instead of folks paying attention to their menus they’re doing other things that have nothing to do with either the meal or the conversation at hand. In an effort to remain connected, have we disconnected? Well?

Heads down.

I used to love sitting in a movie theater before the feature presentation. I went through the rite of passage of easing the seat back, putting my feet up, and joking with my friends about the silly, stupid things in life that makes us who we are. Hairstyles. Clothes. Talk.

Talk. Talk. Talk.

Not anymore.

Heads down.

It’s silly, isn’t it? We’re living a world where never have we had it so easy to talk with someone, yet we’re still alone.

Train ride. Coffee shop. Bus station. Park bench. Standing in line. Waiting room. Eating out. Movie theater.

What about it? Did you have your head down while reading this?

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Have you noticed it, too?

Posted in Freedom Friday

Social Media Vacation

The other day a friend of mine asked me where I’ve been. I responded with the “what do you mean?” question. They said they hadn’t seen me around lately and was wondering if everything was all right. I said I was right here. They stated they hadn’t seen me online recently. “Oh, that” is what I said, and then explained that I was taking a planned social media vacation. They looked at me as if I was crazy.

Time for a much-needed vacation.
Time for a much-needed vacation.

I’m not crazy.

A planned social media vacation is exactly as it sounds—time away from the social scene in order to appreciate life. I’ve been planning this for a while, and now that I have a few projects with long timelines in the works, I figure it’s the perfect time to exercise my right to disappear.

Let me explain this in more detail for today’s Freedom Friday post.

I love this time of year. I really do. I’ve written about it countless times, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m into the whole fall/winter thing—bundling up in my favorite coat, mitts and toque—visiting friends and having a grand ol’ time along the way.

I’m not regretting it. I’m actually enjoying it. I’m in the process of reading three books, watching two TV series, and catching up with a list of summer movies, that if measured, I would estimate it running the length of my arm.

What’s the best part about it? I’m spending more time with the family and less time online, which makes for the perfect segue to mentioning how staying offline keeps my perspective in check. I know I sound like a repeating loop, the kind you hear in one of those awesome rap music videos, but I have no other way to describe it.

How do some folks have time to chat/tweet/message for hours at a time online while life slowly passes them by? It’s beyond my comprehension. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with hopping online to spend minutes posting a few “how-are-you’s” and “thank-you’s”—but all day? Sorry, I’m daft that way. You’ll have to explain it to me.

Here’s a snapshot of my social media life for the next few months: Log into facebook, like and comment on my notifications, and post a link to my latest WordPress post. Log out. Log into Twitter, favorite and comment on my mentions, and post a link to my latest WordPress post. Log out. Quick and simple. No lingering.

I suppose I’m passed that phase where I’m chasing it.

Maybe I’m not taking a social media vacation after all. Maybe, just maybe, I’m taking an anti-social media vacation where I don’t feel guilty for not responding right away to every notification I receive.

Whatever it is, I know it’s the best thing ever.

Dare I say it? Why not try it out, you might like it.

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Have you planned any time away from the social media scene? If so, what are you planning to do with that time?

Posted in Freedom Friday, Other Things

The Love for a Child

There comes a time in people’s lives when they have to decide what they want out of life. For some, they know as soon as they’re born. For others, it takes a lifetime. That’s a lifetime of going through the motions of living, making mistakes, hurting—but learning—learning what makes them tick, what makes them feel, what makes them happy.

Boy Reading
Boy Reading

No one ever said life is easy. In some respect, it’s not. It’s a matter of perspective. The choices will either encourage change in a person or force them to resist. One thing’s for certain, change will happen, whether someone wants it or not.

When I was a young boy, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I had creativity in my blood. On my mother’s side, music dominated our genes to produce a multitude of musical geniuses including a symphony composer and conductor in South America. On my father’s side, sports lives in the Flacco blood. The Flaccos have always pushed the limits in anything they put their hand to.

Then, there’s me. My story? I drifted. After finishing high school, I went from knowing I wanted to be a writer to working in blue-collar factories for seven years. If that wasn’t enough to learn a lesson, I then went into accounting for another seven years. That’s fourteen years—gone. That’s not including the added distraction of wanting to be a rock star. I mentioned that somewhere, didn’t I? Yes, I studied musical composition in Toronto, following the lead of my mom’s gene pool. Suffice it to say things didn’t work out quite as expected.

Ages later, after many hits and misses, I’m happy to say I’m doing the very thing I should have pursued right from grade school when the inkling of being a writer sprung into my mind.

Woman reading
Woman reading

Now, I’m going to play the part of devil’s advocate here and say a few things folks may not like. Kids know what they want to be. I really believe that. I believe kids not only know what they want to do with their lives, but they express it from an early age. They’re not going to say straight out “I want to be a doctor” or “I want to be an astronaut” or even say anything at all. Sometimes they’ll say it in the most beautiful and powerful language known to us—the language of doing.

A child may draw all day, may dance, sing, read, write, swim, laugh, throw, act, play, jump, crawl, watch butterflies float, dream upon the clouds, help mom bake, help dad put the car back together, mow the lawn and yes, shovel the driveway—the point is they’re telling us what they’re good at.

So my Freedom Friday question is this: Why on earth would anyone want to discourage them from being anything other than what they’re good at?

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Do you have kids? Do you know what they’re good at?