The whole world has gone crazy. One day, I’m everyone’s best friend. The next day, I belong in an insane asylum. Call me unconventional. Do you know how I got these scars?
I robbed a bank. Everyone thought I was crazy then, too. But I’m not the guy who walks around without any spare change in his pocket. The jingle you hear are the knives hitting against each other. Everything has a price.
What’s a guy gotta do to get a laugh around here? Did you know if I slice someone’s jugular no one would turn around, but if I were to kick a dog on the street everyone would think I’m cruel. You know what’s cruel? Having fancy toys and not sharing them with anyone. The Bat Man is the one you should be after. He’s a selfish human being. I may not look pleasant, but I don’t have to hide behind a mask. The Bat Man hides his face. He’s the coward. He’s the evil one. Do you know how I got these scars?
Anarchy is relative. Fight against an oppressive government, you’re a hero. Fight against the current government, you’re a rebel. I’m neither. I like to think of myself as the harbinger of happiness. Anyone who says they’ve got happiness figured out is a liar. I have happiness figured out. All I have to do is stare at myself in the mirror and that smile I have pasted on my face makes me happy.
Why so serious?
I once told a woman my father beat my mother. I thought it was the prettiest thing to say to a lady. You can agree. Or not. I visited a man at Gotham General Hospital after a bomb blast ripped apart his face. He didn’t appreciate me being there. I gave him an opportunity to end my life by the barrel of a gun. He flipped for it. I’m still alive. I tucked myself into a body bag to make a statement. The neighborhood boss in charge didn’t know what hit him when I popped out like a jack in the box to slice his jugular. No one turned around. Do you know how I got these scars?
I like purple. I think the color suits me. Green hair on me also makes a statement, even if others might find me repulsive.
Chaos makes the world go around. I think chaos should be a credited college course. Professors could hand out a gallon of gasoline and a match as part of the curriculum. Wouldn’t that be something?
Why so serious?
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
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RANGER MARTIN AND THE SEARCH FOR PARADISE, on sale October 20.
What do you think of The Joker’s maniacal ways? Do you think he’s a man fit for society?