Posted in Wednesday Warriors

John McClane

“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.” ~Hans Gruber

Welcome to the first article in the new Wednesday Warriors series where testosterone doesn’t take a day off, and guys wearing their hearts on their sleeves is an anathema. At least in the beginning—I’ll eventually have to talk about American Beauty’s Lester Burnham, but for now, let’s start it off with a bang.

Bruce Willis as John McClane
Bruce Willis as John McClane

John McClane (Bruce Willis) is a practical cop. His no-nonsense approach comes in handy when he visits his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) during her new company’s Christmas party. He just came off the plane with a lump in his throat. He never did like flying. One of the other passengers gives him a coping mechanism: walk around barefoot while curling your toes. Advice that comes in useful later on, yet for now, he can’t even find his wife in the company registry. Not until he searches for her under her maiden name Holly Gennaro does he find her.

John McClane
John McClane

Once at the gathering, the real party starts. Walking around barefoot, enjoying terra firma in his room, a team of terrorists takes over the building and holds the partygoers hostage—including Holly. John makes a mad dash to the upper floors of the building where he’ll plan his response. He must be kidding himself. How could he possibly beat a well-armed squad of killers barefoot? Yes, he didn’t have enough time to put on his shoes when he had the genius idea of leaving the confines of safety.

Which brings us to the inevitable statement the Die Hard series created—John McClane is the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing prepared him for what was about to happen next.

Hans Gruber (Harry Potter Professor Severus Snape‘s Alan Rickman), the leader of the terrorist group, sends a hit squad to eliminate their thorn in their side, John McClane (Roy Rogers as John so eloquently introduces himself with the series catchphrase). You probably know what I’m talking about without my repeating the words, of course.

When the supposed terrorists catch up with John, he manages to handle the situation his way—by the end of the barrel of a gun. This prompts the terrorists, who survive John’s onslaught, to march from an elevator while Holly looks on:

Ginny: [Karl smashes a table of glasses in fury] God. That man looks really pissed.
Holly: He’s still alive.
Ginny: What?
Holly: Only John can drive somebody that crazy.

If only the terrorists knew who they were dealing with, they would quickly make a beeline for the exits. This does not happen.

The conclusion sees all of them dead as John McClane emerges soaked in their blood while Beethoven‘s Ode to Joy plays in the background and the building burns to the ground—as with all true 80’s movies.

On a personal note, I don’t think a Christmas has gone by without Die Hard or Die Hard 2 making an appearance during the holidays. They’re that good. And why not? With the protagonist transforming himself into a reluctant hero, what’s not to like? He is a teacher to those who don’t know what to do with a bad situation.

His solution? Make it work.

[Author’s note: In celebration of the new Wednesday Warriors series, I’ve changed the header color to reflect the cool winter season. What’d y’all think?]


What do you like about John McClane? Which Die Hard movie is your favorite?