Jack Flacco

Classic Films Zombie Style

Posted on August 5, 2013August 3, 2013 by Jack Flacco

I love action movies, and now that World War Z has proven the undead belong in Hollywood A-list films, I’m excited to see where the next crop of fast zombies will appear. However, the beasts shouldn’t show up just anywhere. Producers and directors should think about expanding the zombie universe by perhaps including these creatures in remakes of multi-million dollar hits. Yes, it’s a stretch, but imagine what fun it could be.

For my Monday Mayhem series, I’ve explored this idea before with my posts Classic Literature Zombie Style and Classic Literature Zombie Style II, adding the undead to such classic tales as Sherlock Holmes, Alice in Wonderland, and Romeo & Juliet.

Yet I’ve never done it with movies.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Below are three movies I think would be interesting to watch as remakes with a zombie twist. No one can say no one has ever thought of this. Let’s have some fun!

Jurassic Zombieland—In a remote island off the coast of Costa Rica, the government is conducting experiments in dinosaur cloning. Preliminary successes yielded the birth of Triceratops, Apatosaurus and the formidable Tyrannosaurus Rex. But something goes horribly wrong. Human DNA accidentally creeps into a Velociraptor gene pool and the next batch of clones pops out as stillborns, half-dinosaur and half-human. Before scientists could purge the dead batch, the legion of Zombiesaurus spring to life, eat the humans then battle for island supremacy against the other dinosaurs. Who wouldn’t want to visit this as a theme park?

Star Wars: Attack of the Zombies—A virus is taking hold of the planet Naboo rendering all Gungans as zombies. When Gungan Ambassador Jar Jar Binks appears before the Galactic Senate, unaware he’s a carrier of the dreaded disease, he infects half of the senators. Palpatine, whose clear ambition is to wrestle control from the senate in order to become all-encompassing ruler, requests aid from the Jedi to eradicate the Gungans. While the Jedi are away, he proclaims himself emperor and uses the virus as grounds to destroy the senate with his newly formed clone army. All would have gone according to plan except for one thing—Palpatine himself turns into a zombie.

Zombies of the Lost Ark—On an archeological expedition to unearth the ark of the covenant, Indiana Jones travels to Egypt where he encounters an army of the undead ravaging Cairo. Unbeknownst to Indy, the golden idol he had stolen weeks before from a temple in South America carried with it a curse. Whoever possesses the idol ten days after its removal from the temple would have a zombie plague unleashed on him and all those in his charge. Indy’s arch nemesis, René Belloq, has fallen under that plague, and now is wreaking havoc throughout the Middle East. Will Jones find the Ark in time before the great apocalypse spreads further?

Do you have any other movies you’d like to see zombified? How do you like the idea of E.T. as a zombie?

Freedom Friday

The Eighties

Posted on August 2, 2013August 2, 2013 by Jack Flacco

I grew up in the Eighties when the kids wore bright pastel colors, listened to music that had a happy vibe, and the girls wore outfits with shoulder pads as the de facto fashion statement. Our hair was tall and our walk was light. We didn’t have to worry about texting, messaging, blogging, skyping, tweeting, facebooking or pinning. We led simple lives and had simple dreams. I didn’t have Freedom Friday to write about this.

If we wanted to talk with anyone, we’d call them on the phone, land lines no less. If we wanted to have a more substantial conversation, we’d meet for coffee, sometimes until two or three in the morning. Our yes was yes and our no was no. Our principles meant something.

There was also an unwritten rule: take a penny, leave a penny. If you worked in a gas station in Canada, you already know what I mean. A little tray sat on the counter next to the register, sometimes empty, sometimes filled. If you needed a penny, you simply take one from the tray. If you had one or two to dump, place them in the tray. Some gas stations still have them to this day.

Our Christmases were easy to digest. There were no iPods, iPads, tablets, Kindles or Kobos. We’d received books, cassettes, CDs for gifts. The most we’d splurge on was the Sony Walkman. Tops.

Buying books cost a small fortune at the time. Luckily, I worked in a library giving me the ability to read newly released books for free.

We purchased our music on cassette tapes. If we really liked the album, we’d purchase it as a special edition chrome or metal tape. Many of my friends made a fuss over the quality of normal and chrome bias tapes. I could never hear the difference. Besides, LPs sounded better.

Culture Club's Boy George — Culture Club’s Boy George

Some of the bands that were hot were The Police (the hardest working band of the early Eighties and my favorite), Utravox, J. Geils Band, Culture Club, Duran Duran (incredibly hot), and Bobby McFerrin. Our anthem in our neighborhood was Sunshine Raggae by Laid Back. The radio was what brought us together and the concerts were what made our summers.

We wore baggy pants at the thighs with belt buckles that nearly covered our belly buttons. Our shoes were practical, designed to slip off easily.

Everything was expensive. For a student, it took so much to save for anything, but when we finally purchased it, we appreciated it more. At least the movies were cheap. Four people could go to a matinee for under twenty dollars. Unbelievable, isn’t it?

I suppose the best part about the Eighties was knowing we had our whole life ahead of us. Not much different from what it is today for those growing up.

If you lived through the Eighties, what is your favorite part?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Mikaela

Posted on July 31, 2013July 28, 2013 by Jack Flacco

She’s the chick every guy in high school has his eye on. She’s hotter than a rally yellow Chevrolet Camaro. And she’s the girl who ends up with the biggest prize of all—being part of the team that ultimately saves the world from annihilation. I am thrilled to present Mikaela Banes of the Transformers series for this week’s Women Who Wow Wednesday.

As a little girl, Mikaela (Megan Fox) learned about cars from her jail-prone car thief dad. She’d never admit her mechanical talents to her boyfriends though, why ruin a good relationship with their inferiority complex. But when she meets Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), who incidentally drives around in a piece-of-crap, broken down, 1977 Camaro his dad had purchased for him on his birthday, she feels compelled to help the kid out with his ride:

The next time we meet Mikaela is on her back, after Sam runs into her moped on the street.

You see, Sam’s not some ordinary kid. He’s what you call special. Not special in a weird way, but special in the sense his great-great-grandfather in 1935 had made one of the most awesome discoveries in the history of the world. He discovered frozen in ice, Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, a race of robots sent to deplete the earth of its resources. This is a big deal ‘cause by the time the remnant of the Decepticons catch up with Sam, eBay username ladiesman217, in the middle of the street with Mikaela, Bumblebee, the piece-of-crap Camaro Sam owns, rides in to save the day.

The chase is on. They hit the street leaving smoke behind. After several cat-and-mouse games, Bumblebee throws the kids on the ground behind him and transforms into an Autobot, a good guy from the planet Cybertron. A battle ensues, but the more interesting battle happens when a smaller, meaner Decepticon chases after Sam.

Mikaela darts to a tool shed to find her choice instrument of pain. She revs it up and goes after the puny, insignificant weasel that dares attack her friend, Sam. Brandishing the chainsaw, she makes meat out of the Decepticon.

When Bumblebee vanquishes the larger Decepticon, he confesses his identity to Sam, transforms back to a Camaro. Then Sam utters the words that I think makes the whole movie worth the cost of admission and then some:

And right there is a lifetime of journeys.

I can tell you more about Mikaela, the glasses, of how she uses a tow truck to defeat the Decepticons with Bumblebee in tow, but I think I’ll end it here—with the decision of a lifetime. Mikaela had to make that decision, and at one point in our lives, we too have to make some major decision somewhere. We may have already made it. We may not know what it is, but at least we had guts enough to make it.

Fifty years from now, when you’re looking back at your life, don’t you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?

Monday Mayhem

Zombie Apocalypse: Failure?

Posted on July 29, 2013July 28, 2013 by Jack Flacco

Do you know what I realized the other day? Whenever I talk about the zombie apocalypse with my friends, I’m always assuming it is possible. I never think for a moment that something so absurd would be impossible. Then again, I do write about zombies, so how weird is that?

Back in May, I wrote a Monday Mayhem post called Zombie Apocalypse: Causes. In the post, I detail reasons why I think a Zombie Apocalypse could happen.

But, what if? What if zombies suddenly rise from their graves because of some freak event and we’re right there in the middle of the mess? Do you honestly believe these walking disasters have a chance of carrying out their diabolical plan to rip our cerebral cortexes from our skulls, all the while their moaning and grunting betray their physical locations?

Before y’all jump me at once let’s say this together. Raise your right hand: I know a zombie apocalypse is possible but I won’t beat Jack senseless for thinking otherwise.

Once you’ve said that three times, you can go on ahead and read why I’m entertaining thoughts contrary to an undead global meltdown.

Elements of Nature—How long do you think zombies would survive in the middle of our Canadian Winter? One day? Two days? On February 18, our weather here in Ontario dropped from 0°C/32°F to -16°C/3.2°F. That’s a sixteen-degree differential in the span of one day. In December 2012, we had a full week of sustained temperatures below freezing. I hope zombies dress warm if they ever decide to invade in the middle of winter. In June, floodwaters ravaged townships in Alberta leaving them desolate and empty. In Calgary, the city came to a standstill as chest-deep waters flooded the downtown core. Do zombies know how to swim? The list goes on, with a myriad of other natural disasters that have occurred this year ranging from tornadoes all the way to heat waves. If a zombie apocalypse has to take hold, it had better time it right. Mother Nature would have first dibs at the bodies rising, that’s for sure.

Animals Are the Zombies Second Worst Nightmare—I’d like to see a few of those belly suckers attempt to cross a cornfield in the middle of the day. First of all, they’d never survive a head on onslaught of crows nosediving from twenty feet in the air to peck out their eyes. Buzzards or turkey vultures are worse. Their six-foot wingspan allows them to travel 30-50 miles in search for food, and they can smell death a mile away. Their bills have a design to plunge deep within a carcass to retrieve its meal. Let’s not even talk about wolves. These pack hunting canine wonders of nature can eat 15-19% of their body weight in one sitting. If zombies should happen to make contact with any of these animals, it’s lights out.

We Are the Zombies Worst Nightmare—Let’s imagine for a few moments a world on the cusp of filling with a legion of zombies out to harvest our innards. Forget about World War Z’s fast zombies. As cool as they are, let’s think old school. You know, the roaming kind, lurching forward, arms drawn outward, smelling for frontal lobe delicacies. What are the chances they’d survive with us as their enemies? I’d say we’d have a pretty good shot at putting down the infestation right out of the gate. Think about it. We’ve got guns, knives, bullets, bombs, missiles, rockets, cannons, flamethrowers, heavy artillery, assault vehicles, battle fatigues and some of us even have martial arts training. What do the zombies have? Nothing. A couple of loose teeth, a few broken nails, and maybe those golden three hours after death between Primary Flaccidity and Rigor Mortis where they could do the most damage. Beyond that, we win.

Just for fun, can you think of other reasons why a zombie apocalypse wouldn’t work?

Freedom Friday, Photo Opportunities

Ottawa

Posted on July 26, 2013May 8, 2017 by Jack Flacco

Last week, my family and I took a much-needed vacation to Ottawa, Canada, the nation’s capital. This should not come as a surprise to my regular readers given how I’ve posted of our many adventures enjoying our love for travel. If you want to read some of those posts I’d written for my Freedom Friday series, you’ll get a taste of Nova Scotia, Niagara Falls, and our recent weekend getaway.

From our town, an hour north of Toronto, to Ottawa, it took four-and-a-half hours driving without stopping. Once we arrived, we checked out our very cool suite. I’m not sure if all hotels are as fancy as the one we chose in the downtown core, but our suite looked incredible. The elegance thrilled us with the handcrafted beds and embroidered blankets, marbled bathroom, and the useful kitchenette. We’d gone for a package deal, having added a set of tours to boot of the nation’s historical museums. We certainly didn’t have to wait to see the benefits of that decision.

First off, let’s get one thing out of the way. It’s about the restaurants. Since food is a big part of our travel experience, we try to eat as much variety as we can. Apart from our kid’s ingesting their staple chicken fingers and French fries, my wife and I will dive into sushi, Greek food, and salads. There’s nothing quite like the taste of maki or souvlaki on a hot day in July. What I noticed about Ottawa’s restaurants however, is how upscale they are in elegance and design. I’m sure it has something to do with the affluence of a high percentage of the region’s population. Well, most are lawyers, senators and politicians. So yeah, the restaurants ought to service those folks in those professions. And the eateries’ decor will reflect that clientele. Nonetheless, no matter what the bistros and cafés look like, the food is delicious.

Ottawa’s also a culturally rich area filled with museums centered on Canada’s history. We took advantage of that history by hitting Parliament Hill as our first stop. Since our hotel was ten minutes away, we walked all the way. The heat was intense but the journey worth it. Seeing the hill for the first time was somewhat overwhelming. Its Gothic Revival architecture reflects an era when style and grace had epitomized the people’s preference for sophistication. The Peace Tower itself looks no different from Big Ben in London, England. It even plays chimes throughout the morning. I caught Somewhere Over the Rainbow in the midst of it all.

Our tour consisted of the House of Commons, the Senate, the Library of Parliament, and the Peace Tower, which are all part of the Centre Block. The most fascinating story is that of the great fire of 1916 that had devoured most of the Centre Block except for the Library of Parliament. A quick-thinking library clerk by the name of Michael MacCormac had shut the library’s iron doors preventing the spread of the fire, which would have consumed priceless books and paintings accumulated over a period of five decades. This small action taken by the clerk impressed me to remember his name and will possibly remain in my memory for a long time. I won’t forget his diligence as it has inspired me to keep pressing forward without relent in all my industry.

Besides enjoying sleeping in (lots of sleeping in), we took a trip to Canada Aviation and Space Museum. Seriously, Ottawa’s the center of museum country. To my family and I, who are avid museum aficionados, this was our territory. The museum houses a collection of some of the most impressive aircrafts that’d flown in the world. This says a lot given I’ve also been to the National Air and Space Museum of the Smithsonian Institution in Washington.

Rather than tell you more of what we did during the week, I figure I’d let the photos tell the story instead. Therefore, below are highlights of our Canada Aviation and Space Museum trip.

RCN 387 - Helicopter — RCN 387 – Helicopter

One more museum trip I thought you’d like to have a gander at is that of the Canadian Museum of Civilization in Gatineau, Quebec. We crossed province lines to the most visited museum in Canada to see what the big deal was. Wow! Big deal is right. The place is massive. It surpassed all my expectations. Not wanting to spoil it by my overdone descriptions, the highlight was our tour of an area in the museum featuring our country’s history. In the following photos, you’ll notice the twilight/sunset feel created by the exhibit’s indoor lighting.

Aiding a Man's Last Moments (dummys) — Aiding a Man’s Last Moments (dummys)

The View of Parliament Hill in Ottawa from Gatineau, Quebec

I had written a complete elaborate ending to this post, but decided to scrap it. You didn’t want to hear about the dark, foreboding storm we drove through on our way home. Of how it was two-thirty in the afternoon and the black clouds made it seem like ten at night. Of how I had my windshield wipers on max and I was screaming, “Bring it on” while my wife prayed for protection as buckets and buckets of water dumped on the road, stopping traffic to the side. You didn’t want to hear about that, did you?

Have you gone on vacation yet? Where did you go? What did you do? What do you like most about your vacation?

Women Who Wow Wednesday

Calhoun

Posted on July 24, 2013July 22, 2013 by Jack Flacco

A few weeks ago, I celebrated Women Who Wow Wednesday with my tribute to Incredible Women, three females from Pixar’s film The Incredibles. It was the first time I shined a spotlight on animated characters that epitomize true heroism. This week, having recently seen Wreck-It Ralph, I want to concentrate my efforts on Calhoun, the tougher-than-nails soldier of death who can burn a hole through any alien that comes her way.

Rather than take the traditional route of describing Calhoun in all her glory as a brazen warrior and defender of Hero’s Duty, I thought I’d take a different approach.

What is a true hero?

A true hero is someone who goes beyond themselves to fulfill a role they never intended on fulfilling. We can recognize these people by their humility in what they do. They do the job never expecting anything in return. The satisfaction they gain comes from making the world a better place to live. Sometimes they have to make decisions that will hurt those they love. This is necessary for the greater good, even if it may harm a few of those who they’re trying to protect.

On the other side of the coin lies the enemy. They’re slick, smooth talking, and always ready with an answer as to why things are the way they are. Their oily tongues pay tribute to the eloquent words they speak. They reassure those in peril all will be well. All will change. All will be better—if—no one disrupts the status quo. Their countenance is that of light, but in their hearts lies darkness. They are snakes ready to pounce on the innocent.

In the center of it all rests a virtual Utopia. A city no one would suspect as having any problems. On the outside things seem to run smoothly. The citizens receive their meager allotment of resources in exchange for their forced labor, although they don’t know its forced. The city runs without difficulty as long as everyone completes their assigned duties.

Sergeant Calhoun Portrait

If everything’s running smoothly, why ruin it?

The hero usually is the first one to recognize something in the Utopian garden is just not right. Sometimes, it’s the hint of how the enemy answers questions without ever revealing anything. Sometimes, it has to do with how superficial things look. It could be anything, really. But in the midst of it all is the hero, knowing something needs fixing.

In the movie Wreck-It Ralph, Calhoun is that hero. A golden-haired character with a dark backstory, she recognizes something bad’s happening to the world she inhabits and needs to fix it—fast. As opposed to a diplomatic solution, she opts for proactive engagement. With Calhoun, there’s no such thing as aggressive negotiations because with Calhoun there’s no such thing as negotiating. She slaps on her weapon and fires. No 20 Questions. No sob stories of how she feels neglected and unloved, blah, blah, blah. She just fires.

Now, wouldn’t life be easier if everyone follows her example? I’ll leave you with that thought.

Have you seen Wreck-It Ralph? What did you think of Calhoun?

Monday Mayhem

Warm Bodies

Posted on July 22, 2013July 22, 2013 by Jack Flacco

Having seen Warm Bodies two nights in a row last month, the subtle thought of a zombie apocalypse entered my mind. I shouldn’t say subtle, I would say blaring. As funny as some scenes were, some interesting concepts came to the fore worth discussing. I’m hoping this Monday Mayhem post can do the film justice by exploring those ideas.

Warm Bodies (Photo Credit: Jonathan Wenk)

I’ll try writing this post having in mind not to give away any plot points or spoilers. I’ll attempt to keep it as general and as high concept as possible.

One of the main themes the movie emphasizes is love will cure all. It’s no secret that when people feel lost and alone they turn to family and friends for support. Why is that? Family is the crux of a stable society. When one becomes injured, family can help with raising the spirits. Who else knows us better than family? However, what is one to do when they possess a fractured family? This is where friends come into to play. Friends—good friends—the kind that have been there through good and bad, light and darkness, joy and pain, they’re the ones who can provide support when all seems lost. Warm Bodies makes it plain that having a support system will make all things better. Love will cure all.

Oh, Romeo, Romeo! The movie drips with references to Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet, which, by the way, aside from Hamlet and Othello, is one of my favorite plays of all time. Again, I ask the question, why? Why the references at all? Is there significance with the way the characters interact with one another and how the main theme plays out?

For those who don’t know, the story of Romeo & Juliet is about love conquering all. It’s about feuding families who, by death, quell their quarrels. The entire opening of the play gives away the whole story:

As with the play, Warm Bodies tells of two families at war with one another, a war that can cease only with death. Yet, death is not what it may seem. For some, death may be life. And life is all that matters.

The last point the movie highlights is that no matter how bad things get, they can get worse, and they usually do. We shouldn’t ever give up on what we want from life—even if we’re in the throes of darkness. Our life is our own, to make of it what we will by sheer will and integrity.

These are the things I’ve learned watching Warm Bodies.

Do you have a lesson you’d like to share having watched the movie? If not, do you plan to watch it?

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